Thursday, September 30, 2010
He was not the man pictured above, but that came up when I google image searched for "random man".
This guy came in the front door of our office, walked through the office to the back, turned around and walked right back out. He was walking with such determination that I just assumed he must belong here. There aren't that many people who work in this office, but there are sometimes random people like computer techs that come in. I figured he was somebody like that.
After he left my supervisor came over and said, "what just happened"
apparently this guy just walked in to the wrong office? But I mean, he made it all the way through the entire office before he realized. That seems odd, but I guess I could see myself doing the same thing. I'm always afraid that i'll have somehow gotten on the wrong plane and have to be that jerk that has to get his bag out of the overhead compartment and walk all the way down the aisle with everyone's laughing eyes on me.
When I lived in Florida I went to a really small school that didn't have buses. It wasn't until we moved to Charleston when I was 8 that I had to ride a bus for the first time and I remember telling my mom that I didn't know how I would know which bus to get on at the end of the day and she said, "when you get on the bus in the morning, look and see who else from our neighborhood is on the bus. At the end of the day try to find one of those kids and just follow them on to the bus."
So on the first day of 3rd grade I get on the bus and scan all the faces, hoping that I will be able to remember them by the end of the day. When I get to homeroom I'm relieved to see a girl, Mary Catherine, who was on the bus with me is in my 3rd grade class. I'll never forget she was wearing a red plaid bow in her hair, I noticed it on the bus because I figured it would be easy to spot in a crowd at the end of the day. But now I could relax and enjoy my first day of class because I knew I could handle the bus situation at the end of the day.
So it's 3:00 and we're all getting ready to leave. I guess Mary Catherine must have noticed me frantically staring at her while i packed up my things because I remember her giving me a funny look and becoming visibly agitated. We headed out in to the hallway at which point I distinctly remember seeing her fading in to the crowd of children while checking over her shoulder to see if i was still stalking her. At this point I realized she was trying to lose me and I had forgotten all the other faces from my neighborhood.
She did end up getting away from me, I searched for her frantically until the buses started to leave at which point i think i bust in to tears and the assistant principal had to take me inside and call my mom to come pick me up.
I guess if i were as brave as that random guy i would have just said, "you know, I don't know what bus i'm supposed to get on, so instead i'll just go walk on to every bus until i figure it out".
I gotta say I was impressed with the performance. I thought that the writing was pretty terrible but she managed to pull it off and make it sound not that bad. I think that's the true test of a good actor or actress, if they are on an episode of Law and Order and actually make you forget how absurd some of their lines are. That's why Mariska is so good!
I did appreciate that for most of the episode she looked pretty rough. She wasn't wearing much, if any, makeup which helped you forget that it was Jennifer Love you were watching. However, they did add in video of her that was supposedly taken when she was 16, but was obviously shot in tandem with the rest of the episode. The videos featured her all done up and wearing a really ridiculous candy striper uniform. I feel like it was in her contract, "ok ok, i'll go sans makeup, but only if you figure out a way to include something where i'm young and hot". I mean the video had her licking an ice cream cone.
I love svu.
Note: go to above link at your own risk. There is a lot of butt on the screen.
One of the really fun things about starting this blog is when i get emails or messages from friends saying that they laughed at something random that I wrote. Partly because i made them laugh (or in the case of any of you who check my blog at work, i made you titter), but also just that it's really cool that people are checking my blog of their own volition now instead of because I sent them harassing emails immediately after posting something saying, "have you checked my blog? Did you check my blog? Check my blog..."
I think most of the people who read this are my real life friends still at this point, but Ive also gotten a few people that I don't know as well who have commented that they've read my blog. One was a friend I met through a myspace-esque website back in the day but have never actually met in person. He sent me a message the other day saying, "I confess, I've read your blog. I like it, except for one thing...too many cats".
and i say no such thing sir!
So here's a few more pictures.
Literally the day after I posted those pictures of those nice guys riding the magic carpet I came in to the kitchen, turned on the light, and found this
and yes, in case you were wondering, princess jasmine can still shoot lasers out of her eyes
and then just for good measure here are some pictures of the detective with his best friend. When we first got the detective we were so excited to have a cat that we went to Petco and got all these cat essentials; brushes, toys, treats, etc. We also splurged and bought him this scratching post, which we felt had everything a cat could want.
Well he does love this thing, but he loves it in the way that you love something you never want to see get hurt.
as you can see it is still good as new, while the chair next to it has literally been torn to shreds. He loves laying on this carpeted base of this thing, or rubbing his face against the sessile rope, but he refuses to take his claws to it. We will put the scratching post right next to the chair so the scratching post blocks his access to the chair and he will just go to the other side and start working on the chair there. I'll catch him sharpening his claws on the chair and will carry him over to the scratching post and literally drag his now lifeless paws across the rope part to show him how satisfying it would be to scratch it and he just gets this faraway look in his eyes like he has gone to his happy place in order to cope with the horror of being picked up by me.
I finally just quit caring and just try to ignore that he spends all of his time awkwardly trying to sit on the base that's too small. I don't try to understand him and he doesn't try to understand me.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I did a google image search for "world map with dart" and this came up. When I clicked to see what it was I could not have been more delighted. Go ahead, follow the link, I'll wait for you here.
Ok wtf is that right? Delaware, can't live with it...end discussion.
Anyways, I am struggling with life decisions right now and I don't know what to do. I am going to be homeless in a few short months and I have yet to decide where I want to go or what I want to do. I'm feeling kind of like throwing a dart at a map of the world and just moving wherever it lands (hence the image search).
It's funny how it sounds like the ultimate dream life for most people. I have no connections anywhere, no real ties, I can just up and move without much trouble and start a new life on a tropical island if I wanted to. And yet it's really not that fun when you're actually living the life. It's just so uncertain. I guess I wish I had something I was working towards but i don't. I'm kind of just existing these days.
If you could move anywhere in the world right now where would you go?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
except in this version aladdin has a serious addiction to downers and princess jasmine can shoot lasers out of her eyes
But meghan said, "don't worry, it will be fine". Famous last words.
No sooner had we started up the hill to the reservoir and we saw the woman of the wind. Well, there was much debate about it being a woman or a man, but woman of the wind sounds better. It was a particularly windy night in Central Park and he/she was walking around the reservoir (barefoot) and when the wind would blow particularly strong he/she would stop, lift his/her hands over his/her head, and have their own silent prayer ritual to the wind, looking not unlike rose without her jack on the helm of the titanic.
When he/she spotted us he/she kind of looked embarrassed and hurried off down the path. But we still ended up catching back up to him/her in the middle of another wind dance and chased him/her away again. I don't know what he/she was expecting, we were walking around the reservoir, we were eventually going to catch up to him as long as he stayed on the circle.
I guess the hippie in me can understand this persons need to enjoy as much nature as possible when you live in the middle of the concrete jungle, but stumbling upon them in the dark of night was kind of disturbing. Maybe the pre-show birthday drinks hadn't worn off, maybe we were still in a haze from having just seen a man in a loin cloth and a woman in tattered rags pretend to have sex on a stage not four feet away, who knows.
The point is I'm afraid we've angered the woman of the wind. I guess as long as she doesn't bring the Lady of the Lake in to this we'll be ok.
Monday, September 27, 2010
and this was the view we had
excuse my messy messy room but I couldn't resist putting these adorable pictures up. I was working on my computer and when I got up from my desk they were both sitting like this!!
I like that true to both of their personalities they like to be with each other but not actually touching or acknowledging each other in any way.
But they certainly are handsome!!! I think somebody should write a hilarious situation comedy about them and their misadventures.
There is something really unsettling about that name, not unlike Candy Fingers.
Wow, it's like a whole new blog around here! Amy (of ilikeyoulikeyou.com fame) designed some really amazing logos for my blog and inspired me to do a complete makeover.
Let me know your thoughts on the new classy look : )
Going to work I know I need to be as close to the front of the 4,5,6 as possible so I can dash up the stairs and out the doors of grand central as quickly as possible before I get stuck behind some shuffling old person or child in a stroller.
My route through Grand Central on my way home is pretty much completely a result of Lilly working at the market. I would go out of my way to pass through the market each evening to see if I could catch her, and even though she's not there anymore I still find myself going down the hallways of Grand Central and entering the subway at the opposite end.
So the other morning I had the most surreal thing happen. When I got to the 6 train uptown there was a train just pulling up so I had to run and get on the nearest car which was at the back of the train. I didn't think about it but this meant that I was getting out at Grand Central at the place where I normally get on the uptown train.
It was like bizarro world! It was like when you're playing Mario Kart and you don't realize that your're doing mirror and it's an ice world so everything kind of looks the same anyways so you blast off the line thinking that you're going to be hotsy totsy and before you know it you slam a penguin and go careening off the edge where your fate is then sealed inside an icy block.
Anyways, I was fascinated when I saw this graffiti on the stairs. I don't know what Godbuns are but I know I want them. I will do however many squats I need to until I have Godbuns. But besides that I was just struck by how I walked down these very stairs almost every day and never knew that there was graffiti on them. Now I'm obsessed with it.
It's taken about three specific morning trips for me to get this photo. Usually I'm swept up in the Lion King-esque stampede of people but for some reason this morning I found myself with a cushion of space behind me so I quickly snapped my prized photo.
Now I can ponder Godbuns at my leisure.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I went out first thing this morning to get coffee and came face to face with this nice guy. It was so startling because he was basically right at my eye level, and completely unexpected. In all the time I've lived here, and even before when I would come hang out at this apt, I have never seen anybody in any of these ground floor apts until recently. There is a family now that lives in this apt who brazenly keep their blinds drawn all hours of the day and night. I passed their window the other evening and saw two nine year old boys playing the same Mario Party that Dan and I had stayed up all night trying to play while we were wasted only a few nights earlier.
But this is the first time that I've seen this handsome guy. I like that it was early in the morning so nobody was around, that's his time to check things out, see what's going on.
It's kind of weird watching this neighborhood slowly changing. I'll never forget when I first moved in and I was watching Tyra and she was doing a segment about gay bashing and the intro had her saying, "Gay bashings happen on streets like this in nyc EVERY DAY" and they were literally showing my street, like my front door. And I thought, "that's comforting".
In some ways I wish that I could buy property in this neighborhood because it's only a matter of time before it turns in to the next williamsburg, but then again I can think of nothing worse than committing to staying in Spanish Harlem for the next x amount of years.
But for as long as I am still here I can find comfort knowing that while the Detective keeps track of what's going on behind our building, this nice guy is holding down the fort at the entrance.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Note: these pictures are not affiliated with Candy Fingers on 2nd avenue, I just had to use the name because it grosses Laura out.
These are actually ads that are in the downstairs lobby of the building I work in. I remember the first day I showed up for the interview and I saw them and I had a moment of, "maybe I should go to this place instead"
I mean that just looks like good old fashioned fun. I wonder how hard it is to learn how to do this. Are these like appliques? Or stencils? They can't do these by hand do they? And are they actually the girls names or are they press on?
I really don't care how you slice it, I want a panda on my fingernails
how would you even function with that on your finger?! i love it.
Friday, September 24, 2010
It was actually the first time I've ever gone by myself, which was kind of weird. The first time I ever went to the free clinic in chelsea it was when I was still in college and I went with Brooke. I remember being so nervous and scared the whole time. When they took me in to the little room and told me that I was HIV negative it was like suddenly this huge weight was lifted off of me. Not that it was the first time I'd ever been tested, but it was the first time I'd ever gone to the free clinic, which was somehow scarier.
The last time I went was in January with Katy. This time I was way more calm and collected for some reason. Maybe because I was older, or maybe just because I had no reason to think that I had anything as I hadn't gotten any action in forever. I remember sitting in that same waiting room upstairs and watching the PSA videos they had on repeat and making fun of them with Katy. I seem to remember something about animated condoms. But it was all fun and games until the period after we had our blood taken and before we got the results. Suddenly things weren't so funny anymore and Katy and I just sat in silence staring forward. When they called my number each step towards the room brought back more and more of those old feelings. This was going to be the walk that would change my life. I was entering the room unaware of the disease I was harboring, I would be leaving it knowing that I was HIV positive.
Of course I tested negative and everything was fine. Katy and I ended up getting brunch and having a fine day.
Going there today was like no big thing. I had a moment of trepidation as I walked up the path to that looming brick building on 9th Ave, but thanks to a clerical error my trip to the free clinic ended up being a whirlwind of activity.
The first thing you do when you get there is take a card with a number to fill out. They call you by your number for the whole time you are there. So I'm sitting waiting for my number to be called so I can go in to the room and give the woman my actual information to be paired up with my number, and she totally skips it. I figured there must have been a reason why she skipped my number so I just sat quietly and waited while person after person got taken in. Then randomly this woman calls my number and I go back to her office. She looks at my things and says, "you didn't go through intake" and I was like, "i know, you are the first person to call my number" and she goes, "no that's not true, see somebody put their initials by your number on this sheet, meaning they already talked to you, where's your paperwork?" to which I replied, "i don't have paperwork because you are the first person to talk to me"
We continue with this circular logic for a while, at one point they even accused me of having come in yesterday, taken a card, filled it out, then left and returned today to try to dupe them. Why anybody would do this, i don't know, but they accused me of it. Finally they aknowledged that they made a mistake and got me back in the system, unfortunately I was now like 10 numbers behind everyone else so they kept overlooking me when they would go to call the next number and I had to keep reminding them that I was still there. Finally they got me taken care of downstairs and sent me up to the 2nd floor for my bloodwork etc.
When I got upstairs there was a nurse standing there who directed me to put my folders in this one window. I tried to tell her that they skipped my number and ask if they would make sure not to lose track of my file now that i was upstairs with different people and she said something to the effect of, "Just put your things in the window, it doesn't matter, the longer you stand there running your mouth the longer it will take to get to you".
I said, "umm ok" and went to sit down. So like 10 minutes later they call me to go in to this one room and there standing in the doorway is that same nurse. She says, "you don't have to look so upset, you'll be fine, why do you look so angry?" to which I replied, "Well they skipped me downstairs, I've been here for an hour and a half already, and when I tried to ask you a question you yelled at me and said i was 'running my mouth'"
Oh my god, she could not have been more apologetic and nice. She told me that this morning on the subway some man was rubbing up against her and she "knows she's got a lot going on upstairs but that doesn't mean it's up for grabs". She said she knew she was going to be late and she was so upset that she decided she needed to treat herself to a McGriddle, and that she was so sorry for taking out her bad morning on me.
She then for the entire rest of the time I was there, treated me like I was VIP at the free clinic. She would find me a special place to sit, away from the riff-raff, near her where she could talk to me about her son and how she loves him even though sometimes he annoys her when she's trying to watch her TMZ tv. We talked about Lindsay and wether or not she would go back to jail (she did by the way). Her definitive comment on Lindsay was, "I used to feel bad for her but then I stopped and I was like, 'put those tears back in your face' because why should i feel bad for her? She's rich! I'm poor! I aint feeling bad for her anymore"
We discussed which celebrities we'd want to be friends with, she said either Paris or Kim Kardasian, and even though she disagreed, respected my choice of Britney Spears. She also told me all about how she was up all night looking through her basement for an old copy of a Run DMC cd that she had that she knew was down there somewhere but she just couldn't find it.
Anyways, that's why my trip this morning ended up being totally painless and I never experienced any of the fear that I had in the past. I literally didn't even have time to stop and think because every time I was done with one doctor she would personally make sure that somebody who was free would drop whatever they were doing and see me immediately. I didn't even realize that I was going to get my HIV results until the guy was like, "So you tested negative" and I said, "thank you!" because i didn't even realize what was going on. Like he gifted me with no HIV.
Ended up getting a couple shots besides having my blood drawn from my forearm and my fingertip. I feel like a pin cushion! It's crazy how draining a trip like that to the doctors can be. I ran a couple other errands, came home, made food, and passed out. I only just got up basically to do this post and then I'm going back to bed.
Friday well spent.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I searched for "$10.00" in google images and not a single image that came up made any sense. I was expecting at least some photos of ten dollar bills but there wasn't even anything close to money on the whole first page. It was all pictures like this one above.
However, once I let it settled I decided that i like this picture. It's how I would like people to imagine me to be when I'm working on my blog. Just a hard working woman trying to juggle my blog, my rape van, the time, and yes, even the world. All with a smile on my face and my head in the clouds.
Anyways, I broke $10.00 on my blog today!!!!! I can't believe it, I really feel like it was just yesterday that I was oohing and ahhing over my first nickel, I can't believe I'm already in the double digit dollars!!!!
Thank you to everyone who continues to come to my blog and support me. It really means a lot.
To explain, there is an artist who does graffiti all over nyc, mostly on the upper east side that usually looks like some variation of this:
Well I didn't even realize at first but this was one of those murals and these guys were painting over it! It made me kind of irrationally upset. I mean the mural isn't really all that great, featuring these weirdos:
So who authorized this? Why are we not allowed to have anything colorful or creative in our neighborhood? Only construction. I guess maybe they are painting over it and then will do something new on top of it, but I find that highly unlikely. It's more likely that people will just write hateful graffiti on the fresh new white wall.
Either way I was happy that I got to catch it being covered up so I could immortilize this artists work in my own way.
Then I heard the unmistakeable sound. But how? Why? I was on the corner of 96th St. and 1st Avenue, who on earth would be clipping their nails? I turned around and sure enough, there was a guy standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME and clipping his finger nails. He was so close and there was nowhere I could go to escape. I was seriously freaking out.
I mean it's not just that the sound of nails being clipped is incredibly gross to me, I also always have this vision of them clipping a nail, it flying through the air and landing on my lip.
Now granted, I bite my nails, constantly, so maybe i don't have the best relationship with digital hygene, but I feel like even if I did clip my finger nails like normal people I would do it in the privacy of my boudoir while nobody else was home with my music turned up to the max.
Something about clipping finger and toe nails also makes me think of the process of shoeing a horse and how you shave down part of their hoof. GROSS! I don't know, it really makes me uncomfortable.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
They were just so nice that I had to take a couple pictures, here's another good one
I decided I couldn't pass up this opportunity and ended up taking some close up photos of each of them that crack me up! I guess weezie had been clawing at the chair and his claws were still hooked in to the fabric, making him look crazed and evil in all the photos.
like this one
he looks so crazy!!!! he was just sitting there though, loving the attention. I was even petting him and he was fine, I don't know why these photos portray him as the personification of pure evil.
and then there are the pictures of the detective. The lazy lazy detective. He was barely able to keep his eyes open for most of the shots
like this one
It's usually really hard to take pictures of either of those guys without them just turning in to scary dark blobs with a set of angry eyes, so it was fun that I got so many great ones from this photo shoot. I seriously still can't stop laughing when I look through them, especially because I know that they were both so incredibly calm and relaxed the entire time I was taking them.
So blogger has this nifty "next blog" link which I am assuming just randomly takes you to another blog on blogger. I'm exceptionally bored at work so I decided I would do some cruising through random blogs and see if I stumbled upon anything I like.
The two things I noticed after about 5 minutes before I gave up were:
1) there are a lot more blogs written in different languages than English. While cool, I got to the point where I was just skipping them as soon as I saw they were in a different language because I was getting frustrated only being able to look at pictures but not have any clue what they are about.
2) I "randomly" seem to get the same handful of blogs over and over. I put quotes around it because i don't know if it actually is random or not. Does anybody know? I guess maybe it sends me to specific blogs based on the content that i put on my own or something? But if that were the case then why would it send me to so many blogs that were in other languages? And not always the same language, sometimes it's scary languages with letters that i've never even seen before. But if it is random then does that just mean that there really aren't that many people with blogs on blogger? There were two or three blogs that came up more than once. Explain please.
it's funny how greedy you get for new posts on blogs you like. I feel like I post a lot more than a lot of other people who have blogs, but even so I don't post anywhere near as much as some of the big name blogs out there, and even with the amount of posting they do I am constantly refreshing, desperately waiting for a new nugget of random to read about.
so if you have a blog that i read, please update. i'm waiting.
I had such a fun night, we had a cavalcade of stars visit us on old 100th st., it was just like the parties we used to have in college.
I think the kitties were freaked out by all the people and noise, at some point I went in to my room to change the music and discovered them huddled together on my bed.
This party was the first time that I've been at an event with one of my blog friends so I have to do a link to her blog in hopes that she will also write something about the party and then everyone will realize that I really do have friends. So check out Kim's blog: http://welookawesome.wordpress.com/
I did get kind of riled up (maybe it was the Jameson) when the neighbors came and asked us to turn down our music. I mean, now in the light of day I guess it wasn't that big a deal, they asked nicely and we obliged and it wasn't really an issue, but it still annoys me a little bit. I mean, I just feel like our apt building is a shit hole, and even though they have been busy remodeling the apts as soon as people leave so that they are fancy and whatever, it doesn't change the fact that the neighborhood still sucks. I have to figure out ways to drown out the sounds of construction that happen literally around the clock, not to mention the music and blaring tvs from other people's apts in our building and the buildings around us. Not only that, we also live in NYC where you are constantly on top of and surrounded by lots of other people. I know there is no harm in asking, and that's all they did, but it just irritates me. It's not like we have rager parties every other night that's constantly keeping them up, that's probably the first party we've had at the apt since Ariel's last birthday party.
i'm done with my rant, thanks for listening
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
After the play was over we needed to forget the memories of the bad bloody mary's and the boring play with a trip to the Standard for some AMAZING bloody mary's and great people watching.
We sat in a communal section of the outdoor space which was soon invaded by a family that looked straight out of Growing Up Gotti. They were actually from Italy but looked like they modeled their lives after the trashiest of Italian icons. We had fun spying on them for a while but the lack of service led to our disinterest as the bloody mary wore off.
We eventually found our way upstairs to the highline, upon which we walked uptown. We ended our night at Barrage where Amy met us for a $2 beer.
All in all it really was a magical nyc sunday dream date.
We got to the show early because I was paranoid about getting our tickets so we ended up being like 40 minutes ahead of time for a show that was not very well attended to begin with. After sitting in the lobby for a few minutes we decided that we should probably go somewhere and get a drink while we waited instead of being lurkers.
We found this cute bar in the west village that actually had a live band! It was so fun, and kind of sad because there were maybe 4 or 5 other people at the bar besides us to even listen to them. But even so, it was really cool, I forget how fun live music is. It made me remember all the times I've been places to hear Leah sing, like in the lobby of Charleston Place. I always feel so sophisticated.
Whatever this bar was that we ended up at we picked it because Dan said they had the BEST bloody mary's:
I was getting my hair cut before I met Dan and got out early so I decided to go visit the always charming Garrett at the not always charming Phoenix while I waited. I ended up striking up a conversation with Thommy (he really did spell his name like that, I saw when he entered it on the high score board of Erotic Photo Hunt) who I think was only using me as a life preserver to save him from the weirdo sitting on his other side. Either way I appreciated the distraction while I waited for Dan.
Once Dan arrived we played a couple games of pool, all of which Thommy won, but only because of technicalities.
We ended up at Eastern Bloc where I did NOT run in to Anderson Cooper sadly. I feel like it's only fair for me to have lived here this long that I should get to run in to him once by now. But I haven't. I guess it's just as well, I probably would end up embarrassing myself like the time that Ariel and I saw Alan Cumming there.
I feel like Dan and I had several zingers from the night that were supposed to make it on to the blog but I can't remember what they were. We ended up getting trashed and going back to my apt to play wii. I got motion sick and threw up before I passed out, then was of course up and ready to go by 7 the next morning while Dan slept on the couch with a pillow over his face.