Saturday, March 31, 2012

hey what have you been up to?

Oh me?  I Benjammin.

This was written by the same girl who described my hair as whimsical.  I told her my hair had never been described that way before and she said, "really, well it is, so welcome to your new favorite starbucks".

I was a little caught off guard, I blame the lack of caffein, otherwise I would have tried to keep up with her sass.

Either way, I look forward to a return visit to what is, in fact, my new favorite starbucks.  I will find out if she intentionally misspelled my name or not.

Friday, March 30, 2012

volume 2

In general Sarah loves her Mariah mix cd that I made her but she has admitted to not caring for a few of the songs.  Like Someday, how can anybody not like Someday?!

One of the songs Sarah doesn't like is My All.  Thankfully her mother does love My All and makes Sarah listen to it on repeat whenever she is in the car.  But somehow, Sarah still doesn't like it.

I was listening to the remix I posted above and thinking, 'maybe if Sarah heard this she would learn to love My All'.  Unfortunately Sarah is technologically impaired so I can't simply send her a song to listen to.

So after much thought, and council from friends, I have decided to make Sarah a second Mariah mix cd, mostly as a vehicle for her to hear this My All remix.  That's not to say it's not a good cd, I might even say it's a better cd than the first mix.  But I don't want to get ahead of myself.

I will say that I put When You Believe on there, which I realized I didn't put on the first cd because Whitney was still alive at the time I made it.  Sadness.

Anyways, I finally see Sarah today at work so I will deliver her cd.  I'm nervous!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I think they're lonely

This was what Paris did immediately upon me entering the other day.  Marched right over to me, licked my toe twice, and then just flopped down on my foot and waited for pets.

That's how I can tell she is at the point where she really misses Heather.

This one on the other hand...

she's the same precious angel she always is.

As much as they are all over me when I first get here, they both still lose interest within minutes.  And then things inevitably turn to biting and kicking.

Paris is like, "i'm over this shit"

Aww I love them.

Oh and I couldn't help but notice this piece of paper that Heather had left out on her desk.  Haha it cracks me up every time I look at it.

I can just picture Heather sitting at her desk and suddenly thinking, "i need a playlist, and song #1 needs to be Cher".


Sorry for exploiting your life for my blog Heather.  xoxoxo

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

a nice day off

Sorry I left you high and dry yesterday but time got away from me.  I didn't really end up doing that much really, but somehow I came home exhausted.

Though many things were planned for yesterday I ended up just meeting Joel for a walk on the beach.  We talked about going in the water but it was never anything more than talk.  I only paid for an hour on the meter, and it was quite nice.  I mean it only cost a dollar and we got to take a nice walk along the beach.  I should come down more often.

On the way back to the mainland we got stopped at one of my favorite intersections of all time:

It's the only red light that I'm always ok with getting.  It's like you get to spend just a little more time at the beach.

After our beach walk I took Joel to Lime for lunch/dinner.  I have been there a couple times with Heather but Joel had never been.  He ended up knowing somebody who worked there which was cool.  Especially because this guy liked my car, any friend of my car is a friend of mine.

After a lot of chips and guacamole we ended up at Sidelines where Joel was able to contain himself but I continued to eat.  This time it was peanuts.  Ugh, I couldn't stop.

I blame the display.  After we'd been there for a while I looked around and realized that there was a bowl of peanuts on every single empty table, and they had positioned them to be directly under the light, making them look like glorious golden chalices:

It was so Indiana Jones.  I will say that after eating an entire bowl, I chose poorly.

Anyways, it was a great day, thanks Joel for hanging out with me on my day off.  For now I've got to go next door and check on those precious ladies before I start getting ready for work.

Monday, March 26, 2012


I was folding polos at the register while chris was having a conversation with a lovely woman about bow ties.  The woman was asking if we would teach her how to do it and saying she didn't think she'd be able to.  Chris said something soothing to her that I thought was very well put so I looked up to say, "I agree" which is the first time I noticed this precious precious angel she had in her bag.

Spencer was EXTREMELY well behaved while this family got a master class on bow tie tying.  They even had him out of his bag a couple times and he just stood there being nice and smiling at people as they walked past.

: ((((((((((((((((((((

I can only imagine

This was parked at the mall when I arrived for work yesterday and I literally did a double take.  I read it as I walked past but it didn't really register right away.  I ended up walking back and taking a picture because it was just too unbelievable.

I can't believe that there is a big enough market that they would manufacture license plate frames that say that.  I also can't believe anybody would be brave enough to put that on their car.

It was a really nice benz though.  Like really nice.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

I have never wanted to see something so bad

After reading this review on I think I have to break my no-tv challenge and get showtime.

Also, I can't believe that the only person who pulls more cash per minute than chris crocker is dina lohan. I am so tempted to call, but I have a feeling that if I wait until Jon sees this he will just do it himself and I can save the ludicrous $25 a minute.  

taking myself out

Yesterday was a strange day for me.  I woke up at 5:15 to take Heather to the airport and then drove straight home and went back to bed.  I didn't wake up again until like noon.

I spent the majority of the day cleaning which was good.  I found out at some point in the afternoon that I was going to have to work today, and in the morning no less.  I felt like I didn't want to spend my one day off sleeping and cleaning, but unable to find anybody available to hang out I ended up taking myself out to eat.

Well kind of, I harassed Joel while he worked, and I had dinner too.  It was nice, although my timing could have been better for me seeing Joel.  I ended up being there during old people time so he stayed pretty busy most of the time.

But at least I got out of the house, and you can't argue with this commute.

yeah baby

I know it's not actually Austin Power's shaguar but that's what it reminded me of when I came around the corner and saw it parked in somebody's front yard.

I was nervous about taking the picture but then I realized that they had it out for advertising.

It worked on me!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

for chris

Now that my coworker chris reads my blog I can post things that he needs to see.  Like Mitch.

Chris likes stand up comedians but had never heard of mitch hedberg, so this is for him and any of the rest of you that may not know about him.

He was awesome.

Friday, March 23, 2012

this counts right?

My new years resolution was to cover more beyonce stories so I give you this, courtesy of Kim.

Haha my favorite part is the ending when they play survivor.  : ((((((((((

front row seat

Thankfully I had left for work early so I was able to enjoy this little interlude during my drive.

I'm sorry but this is so much better than getting stuck like this.

Am I right?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I forgot how much this enraged me

I had loaned this game to Jon a while ago and he just recently brought it back to me.  It was good timing too since my tv went out, so I decided to replay this at some point in the past week.

It didn't take long before I remembered why I gave it to Jon in the first place.

So the whole deal with this game is that they decided to go in a different direction than previous metroid games.  In some ways it's pretty cool, but in other ways it blows.  It blows hard.

The main issue I actually feel sympathetic with the game developers for, the story.  Video games are similar to movie franchises in that you can only see the same thing so many times before you get bored, but at the same time the fans expect a certain level of familiarity.  Some games series like Zelda keep coming out with innovative game controls in hopes that you don't notice that the first item you get will be a boomerang, then bombs, etc etc etc.  Other games, like Mario, just offer no explanation and expect you to accept that.  The princess got kidnapped again, somehow collecting stars will help, get to it.

With Metroid, the progression of the game depends on upgrades, which is what makes the game so cool.  You usually start the game at a pretty central location on the map and then explore and expand outwards as best you can with your blaster and zero suit that you arrived on whatever planet with.  As you explore you discover treasures left to you by various sources that allow you to explore further in to areas you couldn't explore before.  It's also fun because you have to go back through areas you've already been through except it becomes much easier once you have whatever upgrade it is that you have just gotten.  It's extremely satisfying to freeze an alien that you just spent forever blasting to death.

Now in Zelda the explanation is that every game is a new era, every Link is a new hero.  This is why he starts the game with nothing and ends with the master sword and whatnot.  I guess the creators of "Other M" decided they wanted a logical explanation for why Samus would not have any missiles, ice beams, power bombs, etc.

And I respect them for that, it's ambitious, I just don't really like the direction they went.  They decided that for the story of "Other M" Samus would respond to a distress signal on some alien planet.  Upon arriving she discovers there are soldiers (who she knows) from some galactic federation who are also there exploring.  Samus decides to join forces with them and then (this is where it all falls apart) decides to DISABLE ALL OF HER UPGRADES.  I think they try to kind of justify it by saying that her power bombs are just too powerful for her to be allowed to use them around people so for everybody's safety she has to disable them.  Why does she have to disable everything else though?!  And then the worst part is Adam, the commander of their team.  He's the one who allows you to use your upgrades so, for example, you will have been getting beaten to within an inch of your life by some purple beast monster who seriously looked exactly like this:

until finally, when you think you're surely going to die and have to start over, he "authorizes" you to use your ice beam, allowing you to easily beat it.  And the impression is that even when Adam isn't in the same room as you he is still watching you on some kind of video surveillance system and then talks to you directly through your helmet.  So why does he watch you run for 5 minutes through a lava field full of horrible monsters before he "authorizes" you to use your suit upgrade that allows heat protection?


You finally get to use your power bombs at the very end of the game after Adam dies, which is unfortunate because I would have power bombed him to death if I had the chance.

I mean seriously, what happened to bad ass Samus Aran who doesn't take shit from anybody?  She's a lone bounty hunter for a reason, as she droned on and on about in the cinematic sequences during "Other M".

I'm obviously so enraged about this that I can't even deal with the other issues of the game.  Like the plot holes, oh the plot holes.  Who was driving the forklift?!

Now I'm worked up.  I need to play Smash Brothers as Samus and beat the shit out of everyone.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

why don't these still exist

This is why I spend hours of my life browsing reddit, for when it leads you to things like this.  I haven't thought about color changing t-shirts in I don't know how long.  Too long.

I also appreciate that the suggested videos that go along with this commercial include a music video from the butthole surfers, which makes me think of this:

Lookin' good Todd!

flawless perfection A+ would watch again

Thank you Jonathan for sending this to me.

just his size

I obviously knew that when I picked this couch out.  Everything I do I do for him.

This morning I woke up from his ridiculous antics.  First he was just walking back and forth over my head but because he's lazy he doesn't pick his feet up high enough so each time he stepped over me he would kick me in the face a couple times along the way.  Then he started trying to sit down on my neck so that he could hit me in the face with his tail, that was fun.

But the final straw was when he straight up stood on my windpipe, cutting off all of my air.  And of course when I try to move him off me he screams like I'm hurting him.

How is he so rude?

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

some sick jamz

I'd like some more of this from Christina please.  This song never gets old.

Joel came over to hang out at my place before we went to the beach all afternoon yesterday.  Since we were home I of course had to play DJ, which led to many an eye roll from Joel.  Sure, your instinct might be to laugh off certain hits from your childhood but I suggest giving them a chance again.  I agree, Chumbawumba will never be cool again no matter how much Heather wants it to be, but some hits from the 90s were hits for a reason.

Like this:

I put lyrics from this song as my facebook status yesterday and, judging by the lackluster response, nobody appreciates this amazing song.  Perhaps watching the video will refresh your memory?

I love how fresh she looks, how timeless and beautiful, and then she has to muck it up with those hideous sketchers.  I mean really?  All the other dancers are wearing white shoes and she's wearing those?  It had to be a choice by somebody.  I also don't like that one cojo looking back up dancer who seems a little too chummy with Britney.  I guess because he was in the hit me baby one more time video he thinks they are bf4e?  I don't care for it, I also don't like him because he always reminded me of somebody I went to middle school with who shall remain nameless here.  You can totally email me if you want to know who though.

What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss songs from your past.  You might be forgetting about a gem like this:

Monday, March 19, 2012

my kind of tupperware party

The other day Heather and I were both doing laundry at the same time, which was actually quite helpful for me.  Heather is a bit (extremely) more of a time nazi than me so she has the washer and dryer cycles down to a science.  Because she has to walk past my living room window to get to the laundry room it means I get to pay even less attention to the time than I normally do.

Of course every time she would bolt past my window I would come hobbling out moments later (my Lake Lure ankle injury from last summer has been acting up lately), lugging my laundry bag, calling out, "Heather, wait wait, Heather!"

Unfortunately Heather doesn't have enough time in her life to waste on people with physical or emotional handicaps so a quick sympathetic glance over her shoulder was the most attention I got before she disappeared around the edge of the building.  She even got me worked in to such a tizzy with her that I ran errands with her for like an hour and a half and didn't even end up doing anything besides sitting in the passenger seat of her car, clinging to the door handle, ready to dive out and roll at a moments notice.

The final time Heather went to get her laundry out of the dryer I saw her fly past my window but didn't end up catching up to her until she was on her way back with her clean laundry.  Once I got to the laundry room and opened the door I was greeted with quite a surprise laying on the floor.  Since there are only two washers and two dryers I knew there was only one crazed lunatic who could have been so frantic to get her laundry that she didn't notice that she dropped her bedazzled black panties on the floor.

Of course by the time I hobbled to the other side of the building she was already gone.  Unsure of what to do I texted her asking if she may have dropped her underwear, and was it done intentionally for me to find.  They were her underwear, no it was not her calling card, yes she wanted me to hold on to them for her.

So then I find myself with the awkward position of having Heather's sexy underwear and not really being sure what to do with them.  I do have a key to Heather's apt, so I could have just brought them over, but somehow that seemed weird.  Like I would have been weirded out if Heather had found my sexy underwear and then laid them out on my counter for me to find.  But then at the same time it seemed inappropriate for me to put them on my own counter.

That's when I remembered that Heather had given me some vegetables in one of her tupperware containers.  I figured this was a fine solution as I had to give it back to her anyways and at least it was a vessel that belonged to her.

For the record, though Heather was perturbed that I put her panties in her tupperware container she was grateful that I found them and not anybody else that lives in our building.  She also gave me permission to do this post.

a nice guy

Yesterday at work I decided to camp out under the cash wrap and dedicate myself to organizing the bags and boxes.  It's a thankless job and, unless one of your coworkers is ringing somebody up and standing right next to you, it's also a lonely job.  So you can imagine my delight when this special guy came in to spend some time with me while I wallowed on the floor.

He was too adorable for me not to try and get a better picture though.

It wasn't easy though, he was quite the wiggle monster.

The woman holding his leash asked if I had a dog, I guess based on the amount of gushing I was doing over hers.

I told her sadly no, I only have a large angry cat.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

just snoozin'

I was in traffic and looked over to see this Jeep, or more specifically the guy in the passenger seat.  This was at maybe 1:45 in the afternoon sitting in somewhat heavy traffic.  At first I was astounded, thinking 'how can anybody sleep like this', but then I remembered driving back from Lake Lure when Andrew fell asleep in the passenger seat of my car with the top down and whitney blasting on the stereo.

And I think the answer to the question, "how can anybody sleep like this" is the same in either scenario; they were hungover.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

my face, my beautiful face

The other day I was taking a shower and as I washed my face I suddenly felt an intense burning right by my eye.  I inspected as best as I could with my hands and felt that there was definitely a raised spot right where the burning was.  I rinsed my face and continued with my shower, reminding myself to check out my face closer in the mirror later.

As I began to wash the rest of myself I started feeling the same burning sensation in various spots on my arms and legs.  Being able to see these spots I could verify that there was definitely something going on with my skin.  I of course immediately assumed skin cancer.  The hours I've spent in the sun coated in nothing but coconut oil have finally caught up to me.

I tried to put it out of my mind but throughout the day I would feel these various spots on my body stinging and burning, reminding me of their presence.  I commented about it to Heather at lunch and asked her if she thought it looked like skin cancer.  She immediately said the spots looked like burns and asked if I had burned myself recently.

Suddenly, in such a rush, my memories from the night before came back to me.  I may have had one too many glasses of wine and decided to make myself a pizza.  All I remember distinctly was trying to move the pizza out of the oven and on to the counter, dropping it, and shouting, "MY PIZZA PIE!!"

I actually found pizza sauce splatter on the most random cupboards in the kitchen the next morning, but never put two and two together that the sauce probably also splattered on me.  Specifically any areas that were exposed...face...arms...legs...

Now besides the fact that my face really hurts I feel like I have this terrible conspicuous spot that begs the question, "what happened to your face?"

This is how I feel:

Friday, March 16, 2012

another gem from Meghan

heroes are not wasted on the youth

3:31 PM (18 hours ago)
to me
In my subcultures class the other day we were discussing Guy Deboard’s Society and the Spectacle(1960’s, very Matrix-esque – the whole world is a false reality constructed by a consumerist culture! That sort of thing) and after discussing easy topics like the Internet and the Kardashians, the professor asked, “Now what about your real idols?  Famous people who are actually your heroes?”  There was a minute of silence and then, unable to contain himself any longer, a young man screamed, “Mariah Carey!!!!!”

Just thought you should know.

a whole new cat

Heather introduced me to this amazing new brush that has truly changed the detective and my life forever.

I wish you could pet him, his coat is so soft and luxurious.  The brush is really intense so I can only brush him for a few minutes each day before he gets irritated and hides from me.  As a result it's been a slow and steady journey over the past week to get to the point where I can really see a difference.  I have also noticed that I don't find any kitty hair tumbleweeds in my apt like I used to.  Is a miracle!

As usual I should have known from the moment I saw the packaging that this was a quality A+ product.  If not for this guy:

Or this guy:

Haha the one on the top reminds me of Paris with the no neck disgruntled face of confusion and the bottom picture pretty much accurately captures the expression on the detectives face after I've brushed him for a few minutes.  Surprised, stimulated, betrayed, enraged; it's all there.

Just like the detective!

85% less fluffy, 100% angry.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

the only thing I miss

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Haha, "she went to virginia tech" 

snail mail

I still hardly ever receive mail, even though my mailbox is usually overflowing.  Apparently all of the previous tenants of apt #2 liked to sign up for as many mailing lists as possible so every day I have to clean out a million things of coupons.  And yes, I've asked my mail lady to not bring the junk mail anymore and yet it always ends up in there.

Anyways, I flipped through a giant stack of coupons the other day, decided there was nothing good mixed in, and tossed the stack.  Luckily, the corner of this postcard caught my attention and I went back for a second look.

I'm glad I did.  Thank you Meghan for sending me this postcard.  I just came across my postcard collection while I was moving recently and was thinking how I need to add to it.  This is definitely the way to start.

"One riot, one ranger" is going to be my new personal mantra.

I'm going to figure out how to display my postcards in my apt.  I will update once I've figured it out.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

break breakdown

Still no phone which means no camera either.  Since I have nothing else to post I thought I'd let Mariah speak for me.

My coworker Brittany came up to me the other day out of nowhere and was like, "I think Mariah looked the best she ever did in the Breakdown video"

I may have to agree.  That whole era was good for her though, but lets be honest, what era wasn't good to Mariah?  For those of you jealous haters that just thought of Glitter let me ask you to watch this:

and tell me it's not amazing.  My only complaint is that it seems a little low budget, like they couldn't get a real "da brat" paint job on that car so they had to print out the magnet sticker for the door?  Was it a rental?

The point is that without phone or television I have been spending a lot more time (than usual) listening to Mariah so I thought I would share that joy with you all this morning.

I hope I have brightened your Wednesday.

If I haven't yet, this definitely will:

Again, the best she's ever looked.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

cut off

I originally did a google search for "cut off" and found a lot of really disturbing images that I didn't want to post.  I then searched for "living under a rock" and found the image you see above.  I don't get it but I like it.

The point is that at some point last week my television went out.  I have been doing ok without it and have even considered just leaving it off for a while.  I never actually signed up for any tv so I was just watching the basic cable channels, and a lot of Telemundo.

But then I was talking to Heather about it and she said I should call Comcast because they must have done something to mess up my cable.  So I was all set to call Comcast bright and early on Monday morning but before I had the chance I got a text from Jon saying that he and a friend had flown in for the day to go to the beach.  I decided that the tv could wait for another day and I started getting my things together to go meet them.

At some point during my running around my phone, which I literally just got replaced, was no longer working.  Well the phone still works, just the screen isn't working.  I didn't want to spend all day at Verizon so I just left it at home and went to the beach.

We had fun hanging out although the beach was kind of overrun with spring breakers.  We did get to witness a really amazing fight between a guy and girl right in front of us at lunch.  She slapped him across the face and stormed off with him shouting after her, "You know what?  We're broken up, we're broken up FOREVER!"

It was pretty awesome.  They ended up fighting in the street for like 10 minutes while the whole restaurant watched them.

The point is that I didn't end up getting to Verizon until like 6 last night to find out that they are going to send me yet another phone to replace this one.  I didn't realize it until that point that it meant I also couldn't call Comcast until I get it.

Which is why I feel cut off, and like I'm living under a rock.  Thank goodness for sweet lady internet.  Unfortunately I have to go run errands, and I'm going to have to do it without my phone.  Terrible!  Pretending to text message was my greatest weapon against crazies.

Wish me luck.

Monday, March 12, 2012


This truck was parked in the garage at work yesterday.  I almost walked right past it, I literally did a double take.

So many questions.

I mean, he's not unattractive, I guess I just don't understand where this picture came from.  Did he use this picture back then to advertise his business or was this some kind of secret boudoir shot that he found years later.

And good for him for having a sense of humor about it.  I guess the implication is that 40 years later nothing has changed.  He's still the same hardworking Don Bailey who will laminate your kitchen floor and refinish your hardwood floors, all while wearing next to nothing.

Judging by his crazy parking job I guess Don is just as lithe and maneuverable as ever:

I mean, he'd have to use the passenger side right?  Unless that other car wasn't there at the time.  Either way, Don was obviously in a rush, I'm guessing he was on the job.

You don't get a corporate empire like that without being dedicated to your clients.  And showing a little skin.

That's my business model.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

but what is it?!

I saw this car in traffic yesterday on my way to work.  Are they making a new prowler?  Is that what this is?  Or has another car adopted the crazy independent front wheels?

It was definitely brand new, not an antique.  The wheels and accessories were definitely modern, I just couldn't see a name anywhere.  I was also only in traffic with it briefly before it tore off towards the interstate.

Also, apologies to my male coworkers who saw a picture of me in my underwear by accident while I was trying to ask them what car this is.  My bad.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

beach babes

We finally got a glorious beach day yesterday so we took advantage of it before I had to take Jon back to the airport.

At first I only saw the white one, you can imagine my delight when the grey one came peaking out from around the corner.  He was way more shy, while the white one was a regular Tyra Banks.

Pose for the camera now click, click.

Their owner was trying so hard to get them to pose together for a picture but it didn't take long for them to get too excited by all the attention with none of the pets.  The photo session quickly turned in to a howl fest.

So nice.

Somebody who was not nice yesterday was Jonathan.  There was a brief period of torrential rain while we were at the beach when we had to seek shelter under the balcony of a hotel.  I don't remember why Jon was so angry but when I tried to take his picture to document the experience of waiting for the rain to pass this is what came out:

Also this:

Why does it always turn to violence?

Unbelievably Jon had to carry his scarf and coat with him on the plane as it was snowing in Boston when he landed last night.  In the meantime I was putting aloe and vitamin e on my sun-kissed tush.

In other words, it's a great time for a vacation to Florida!