he's still awesome

I read this story on TMZ about how LL Cool J apprehended an intruder in his home until the police arrived and I thought to myself, "LL Cool J is really fucking cool".

So I've been having an LL morning, and I want to share it with you all.




I didn't even know this existed, I am adding it to my main playlist immediately.




For some reason my coworker Chris and I were talking about LL Cool J one day at work and he made some comment about, "whats the deal with that video where he's eating an apple?"  I was trying to explain it to him but in doing so I got too distracted thinking about him eating that apple.  I could stare at his mouth all day.

Besides that, as TMZ has confirmed, there is nobody I'd rather be stuck in a shark infested sea laboratory with than LL.




There's a reason the ladies love cool james.

this is why

I was skimming through tmz this morning when I came upon this article about how Mariah might replace Jennifer Lopez on American Idol.  I agree with dlisted that the best part about the topic even being brought up is that it is an excuse to watch this:




But truly, Mariah would be an amazing judge for any talent show.  I think the Can't Let Go clip I posted is a good example why.  Besides the fact that she's flawless in general I think watching the audience really speaks for the power of her performance.  First of all, it's Soul Train, fantastic.  In the beginning the audience is all paired up and slow dancing, but you can see right away that several people have their heads turned so they can watch Mariah.  Then as the song picks up, the people begin to sway.  By about the 3 minute mark she has whipped them in to such a frenzy that one woman is taken over with uncontrollable full body convulsive dancing.  I don't blame her.  By the end nobody is doing anything besides trying to get as close to Mariah as possible because they have realized they were witness to a true artist.

Plus I learned something from the youtube comments on that video, and you know how much I enjoy reading the youtube comments.

Soul train always made the artist lip sync. When Don C heard Mariah he said no need to lip shes sounds better live than her CD. Only Mariah and Elton John did not Lip sync on soul trian

STGA90 2 months ago 13 

So in conclusion, I find Nick's remarks justified.  Case closed.

some sick jamz

I'd like some more of this from Christina please.  This song never gets old.

Joel came over to hang out at my place before we went to the beach all afternoon yesterday.  Since we were home I of course had to play DJ, which led to many an eye roll from Joel.  Sure, your instinct might be to laugh off certain hits from your childhood but I suggest giving them a chance again.  I agree, Chumbawumba will never be cool again no matter how much Heather wants it to be, but some hits from the 90s were hits for a reason.

Like this:




I put lyrics from this song as my facebook status yesterday and, judging by the lackluster response, nobody appreciates this amazing song.  Perhaps watching the video will refresh your memory?

I love how fresh she looks, how timeless and beautiful, and then she has to muck it up with those hideous sketchers.  I mean really?  All the other dancers are wearing white shoes and she's wearing those?  It had to be a choice by somebody.  I also don't like that one cojo looking back up dancer who seems a little too chummy with Britney.  I guess because he was in the hit me baby one more time video he thinks they are bf4e?  I don't care for it, I also don't like him because he always reminded me of somebody I went to middle school with who shall remain nameless here.  You can totally email me if you want to know who though.

What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss songs from your past.  You might be forgetting about a gem like this:

me today

My mood can best be described by this classic Jennifer Lopez jam.

Today is the first day that I feel like I can see some results from my weeks of careful eating and habitual exercise.  Thank goodness as it is back to 80 degrees during the day.  I am going to be wearing less and less clothing as the months go on.

Speaking of how it is amazing weather down here, when are you all coming to visit?  I have to ask kitty if he will allow anybody to sleep on his couch but I'm sure he will be cool about it.  If anything you can just share with him, as long as you don't mind having him stomp all over your head while you're trying to sleep.

I know I don't!

Especially since Andrew sent me this awesome new website to fall asleep to.

So soothing, thank you!

waiting for Katy

If you ever have time to kill I suggest sitting on the bench in front of 9th St. Espresso as you will see a parade of some of the nicest doggies the east village has to offer.

I was really only there for about 10 minutes, but it was just one precious angel after another.

And they were all so well behaved.  I feel like if I were a tiny dog left all alone on a busy sidewalk in nyc I would just freak out, but these guys just looked around and smiled at everyone.

Maybe I should become a dog walker, just like Jennifer Lopez in Monster in Law.  I base a lot of my life decisions on Jennifer Lopez movies anyways, I don't know why I hadn't considered this already.  And if the result of being a dog walker is that I get to have hilarious encounters with Jane Fonda then sign me up!

a lovely day at the free clinic

source

Woke up early this morning and made my way down to the old free clinic in chelsea for some good old fashioned HIV/STD testing.

It was actually the first time I've ever gone by myself, which was kind of weird.  The first time I ever went to the free clinic in chelsea it was when I was still in college and I went with Brooke.  I remember being so nervous and scared the whole time.  When they took me in to the little room and told me that I was HIV negative it was like suddenly this huge weight was lifted off of me.  Not that it was the first time I'd ever been tested, but it was the first time I'd ever gone to the free clinic, which was somehow scarier.

The last time I went was in January with Katy.  This time I was way more calm and collected for some reason. Maybe because I was older, or maybe just because I had no reason to think that I had anything as I hadn't gotten any action in forever.  I remember sitting in that same waiting room upstairs and watching the PSA videos they had on repeat and making fun of them with Katy.  I seem to remember something about animated condoms.  But it was all fun and games until the period after we had our blood taken and before we got the results.  Suddenly things weren't so funny anymore and Katy and I just sat in silence staring forward.  When they called my number each step towards the room brought back more and more of those old feelings.  This was going to be the walk that would change my life.  I was entering the room unaware of the disease I was harboring, I would be leaving it knowing that I was HIV positive.

Of course I tested negative and everything was fine.  Katy and I ended up getting brunch and having a fine day.

Going there today was like no big thing.  I had a moment of trepidation as I walked up the path to that looming brick building on 9th Ave, but thanks to a clerical error my trip to the free clinic ended up being a whirlwind of activity.

The first thing you do when you get there is take a card with a number to fill out.  They call you by your number for the whole time you are there.  So I'm sitting waiting for my number to be called so I can go in to the room and give the woman my actual information to be paired up with my number, and she totally skips it.  I figured there must have been a reason why she skipped my number so I just sat quietly and waited while person after person got taken in.  Then randomly this woman calls my number and I go back to her office.  She looks at my things and says, "you didn't go through intake" and I was like, "i know, you are the first person to call my number" and she goes, "no that's not true, see somebody put their initials by your number on this sheet, meaning they already talked to you, where's your paperwork?" to which I replied, "i don't have paperwork because you are the first person to talk to me"

We continue with this circular logic for a while, at one point they even accused me of having come in yesterday, taken a card, filled it out, then left and returned today to try to dupe them.  Why anybody would do this, i don't know, but they accused me of it.  Finally they aknowledged that they made a mistake and got me back in the system, unfortunately I was now like 10 numbers behind everyone else so they kept overlooking me when they would go to call the next number and I had to keep reminding them that I was still there.  Finally they got me taken care of downstairs and sent me up to the 2nd floor for my bloodwork etc.

When I got upstairs there was a nurse standing there who directed me to put my folders in this one window.  I tried to tell her that they skipped my number and ask if they would make sure not to lose track of my file now that i was upstairs with different people and she said something to the effect of, "Just put your things in the window, it doesn't matter, the longer you stand there running your mouth the longer it will take to get to you".

I said, "umm ok" and went to sit down.  So like 10 minutes later they call me to go in to this one room and there standing in the doorway is that same nurse.  She says, "you don't have to look so upset, you'll be fine, why do you look so angry?" to which I replied, "Well they skipped me downstairs, I've been here for an hour and a half already, and when I tried to ask you a question you yelled at me and said i was 'running my mouth'"

Oh my god, she could not have been more apologetic and nice.  She told me that this morning on the subway some man was rubbing up against her and she "knows she's got a lot going on upstairs but that doesn't mean it's up for grabs".  She said she knew she was going to be late and she was so upset that she decided she needed to treat herself to a McGriddle, and that she was so sorry for taking out her bad morning on me.

She then for the entire rest of the time I was there, treated me like I was VIP at the free clinic.  She would find me a special place to sit, away from the riff-raff, near her where she could talk to me about her son and how she loves him even though sometimes he annoys her when she's trying to watch her TMZ tv.  We talked about Lindsay and wether or not she would go back to jail (she did by the way).  Her definitive comment on Lindsay was, "I used to feel bad for her but then I stopped and I was like, 'put those tears back in your face' because why should i feel bad for her?  She's rich!  I'm poor!  I aint feeling bad for her anymore"

We discussed which celebrities we'd want to be friends with, she said either Paris or Kim Kardasian, and even though she disagreed, respected my choice of Britney Spears.  She also told me all about how she was up all night looking through her basement for an old copy of a Run DMC cd that she had that she knew was down there somewhere but she just couldn't find it.

Anyways, that's why my trip this morning ended up being totally painless and I never experienced any of the fear that I had in the past.  I literally didn't even have time to stop and think because every time I was done with one doctor she would personally make sure that somebody who was free would drop whatever they were doing and see me immediately.  I didn't even realize that I was going to get my HIV results until the guy was like, "So you tested negative" and I said, "thank you!" because i didn't even realize what was going on.  Like he gifted me with no HIV.

Ended up getting a couple shots besides having my blood drawn from my forearm and my fingertip.  I feel like a pin cushion!  It's crazy how draining a trip like that to the doctors can be.  I ran a couple other errands, came home, made food, and passed out.  I only just got up basically to do this post and then I'm going back to bed.

Friday well spent.

heebie jeebies

you might have to click on the picture to make it bigger to see what's going on with this guy.

I was meeting Esha at the Met for drinks on the roof on Friday. While I was waiting and people watching I came face to face with this guy who had a python wrapped around his torso in the style of one B. Spears circa the "i'm a slave for you" vma performance:





I wanted to get a better picture but I can't help being freaked out by snakes. My brother had pet snakes growing up and having lived in Florida I def saw my fair share of wild snakes as well. We certainly went on enough educational field trips where we learned all about snakes so that we knew not to be afraid of them, but just to be knowledgeable about dealing with them blah blah blah. I mean, obviously this guys snake must be pretty well behaved if he can wander around manhattan with it and most people didn't even notice but still. Creepy!!

I think it's something about seeing how strong they are when they move. Seeing all those muscles you can't help but think about it squeezing the breath out of you.

On the plus side, snakes also always remind me of Anaconda featuring one Jennifer Lopez, who never performed with a live snake on the VMA's but did wear this dress to the grammy's :

and I think it's been too long since we've come together as a nation to acknowledge the amazingness of it. I mean, that is a dress. Up yours gaga, you can wear all the weirdo lace volcano headdresses you want but until you start showing up to events in single pieces of fabric held together by a single broach right at your vagina, and a whole lot of double sided tape, I don't want to hear about how you're a "fashion icon".

So anyways, the point of this post is that I don't like snakes and was uncomfortable with this man walking amongst the crowds with his large python.