Monday, September 30, 2013

I guess it's that time of year

As I was leaving work tonight I stumbled upon this in the home section:

I'm hoping they include Mariah in the playlist this year.  Last year they had the audacity to play a cover of All I Want For Christmas Is You.  Such a tease.  I actually had a customer complain about it to me and say that she wanted to write an email and I strongly encouraged her to do so.  Give the people what they want!

My favorite part of that video is the minute and fifteen second introduction of uninterrupted applause.  That and the fact that she rides in and offstage on the shoulders of some burly men.  And her outfit.  And the voice, and the hair, and the legs.

Ok, too many favorite parts of that video.  I'm just glad that I've gotten my first sign that it's ok to start listening to Christmas music again.

mother hubbard

Before my sister got here I was doing some cleaning and preparing and it occurred to me that I might want to go to the grocery store for some things.  When I actually did an inventory of my fridge I realized just how hilariously bare it was.

Of course, stocking up the fridge for a vegan isn't exactly easy.  I basically ended up getting some fruit salad, a 6 pack of pellegrino, and a bottle of wine.

What do normal people fill their fridges with?!

Friday, September 27, 2013

why I brush my teeth in the kitchen

This morning while I got ready for work that cat just sat in the sink screaming and making long slow mournful cries.  When I told Laura about this it delighted her, so when I got home and he started up with it again I had to take pictures.

I got some hilarious ones.

He looks like some kind of ghoulish snake puppet or something.

I have no idea what he was looking at, something far off in the distance that only he could see.  The only time he would look at me would be through the mirror.

A glimpse in to his true personality.  Pure evil.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

do want

I told somebody at work that I had been looking in the jewelry cases and she very earnestly looked me in the eye and said, "Don't ever do that.  No good comes from looking down there"

She was so right, I wish I'd never seen these bracelets.  There are a couple different colors, it was an off white one that caught my attention initially.  They are all pretty, using stones like onyx or tiger's eye, so they are beautiful but in my opinion kind of pricey for what they are.  Then I saw the blue, and that one sparkly bead, so dazzling.  I was surprised to see that it was literally five times more expensive than all the other similar bracelets.  Apparently it's because that one sparkly bead is actually sapphires and black diamonds.

It will be mine.  For now I play the waiting game.  I'm counting on nobody else being willing to spend that much money on such a ridiculous thing so I can snatch it up during the brief window that it actually goes on sale.

Until then I just get to walk past it every day and covet.

Meghan said it looks like something a Russian princess would wear and Jon said it looked like something Elizabeth Taylor would wear.  So either way, it's totally my style.  And it goes so nicely with my watch.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

uggghhhh cont.

I love this bank of red phones, I feel like I'm supposed to rush here as soon as the verdict is in and call the folks in the newsroom.

In the meantime I'm missing a beautiful day so I can participate in the justice system.

Although to be honest I'm kind of sick of the justice system.

I prepared myself early for a long day when the woman came over the loudspeaker at 8:00 saying, "well folks, this is normally when I would start my introduction but it seems our entire computer system is down.  We've never had this happen before so I'm not really sure what is going to happen but we'll just figure it out as we go along."

That's always what you want to hear.

At least the court stenographer has framed pictures of her dogs lining her area so I have something to look at while the endless juror questions continue after this lunch break.

Thursday, September 19, 2013


I tried my best.  Guess I can look forward to an early morning adventure next week.

I really don't like the idea of somebody else's fate being in my hands.

Monday, September 16, 2013

new shoes, sore legs

I got new running shoes yesterday and they are kicking my butt.  I was talking to my sister about them and asking how frequently she got new shoes and she said you're supposed to track your mileage just like with your car.  I had never considered such a thing, and to think how much I've run, especially since I moved down here, I'm sure I was long overdue for a new pair of shoes.

But oh was it a challenge.  The shoes I've always run in are my Terra Planas which are supposed to be like running barefoot.  Going from that to Nikes has been a wild ride.  I ran yesterday and again tonight when I got home from work.  I did ok but I definitely feel all my unused leg muscles now.

I'm excited to get used to them and be able to enjoy them.

it was a bad day for Benjamin

When I got to work there was a newsletter in our work inbox and I found myself in the list of top sellers for the week.  It was a little bittersweet as they misspelled my first and last name, but either way I was glad I put Boca Raton on the map.  If they hadn't included our store location I wouldn't have been certain it was even me.

To celebrate I got myself an afternoon starbucks.  I think the girl taking my order got distracted...

That unsteady scribble at the end is my favorite.

Ever since Jenny found out my middle name she's been really fixated on it.  Maybe I should start experimenting with it, to see if people understand it better.

I'll let you know how it goes, knowing my luck I'll get Lucy.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

he's angry

I haven't been catering to his every whim lately so he's been acting particularly ridiculous.  He rarely sits in my lap and I don't think I've ever seen him rest his head on my leg like this.  Normally he just digs his claws in to my thigh and screams like I'm hurting him if I try to pet him.

Maybe Kim was right, maybe he is mellowing in his old age.

Or maybe he's planning something more terrifying than I could ever imagine.  Jon said he liked this picture because it looked like he was going to strangle me:

It does seem like he's been spending a lot of time just a little TOO CLOSE for comfort.

I think it's time I found a guard dog to protect me...

Friday, September 13, 2013


Walking past Brookstone I literally stopped and laughed when I read this.  I feel like some advertising person did a mock-up ad and they didn't really know what to put to fill the space at the bottom so as a joke they put that in as filler text.

I mean, who authorized that?  "You know you're right, I never realized just how boring sitting was until I had the thrill of my life sitting in the super-bungee chair!"

Maybe tomorrow on my break I'll try sitting in it.  We'll see how much fun it actually is.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

it was all worth it

Forget the commission check, this was the best reward I could get.

Up until tonight, there was only Laura, Jenny, and me at work.  Since Laura is the manager she doesn't keep track of her sales, so last month I jokingly said that between Jenny and me we should do employee of the month.  I ended up beating Jenny by like $400 for the month of August but I'm SO GLAD now that I've seen this.  Laura put it up right at the entrance to our stockroom hahahaha.

And I have a pretty good lead for this month so it looks like I'm well on my way towards my personal goal of having picture after picture of myself up in the stockroom.  Of course, it's going to be harder now that we have Kendrick with us, adding competition for sales.  I'm glad to have him though, it's nice to have another boy around.  Although I could have done without our conversation on the way to our cars.

Me:  So that wasn't so bad was it?

Kendrick: Oh no not at all, it's weird that we have to park in the parking lot where so many people got murdered though.

Me:  Excuse me?

I have the day off tomorrow.  Maybe I'll go invest in some pepper spray.

Monday, September 9, 2013

crime scene

I passed these messes on my way to drop off some empty boxes and I couldn't stop laughing.  At first I thought the murderess had just gotten her wig turned around but then I realized her whole head was on backwards.

I also love that the dead one gave fierce poses right up until the end.  Work that leg.  I hope this is the display and it will stay like this for a while.

Saturday, September 7, 2013


It's the 3 year anniversary of me moving down here, but it's also still the anniversary of that strange week and a half I lived here before heading right back to Sarasota for two months.

Its strange to think back on that time and realize that it was the only time I ever really felt hopeful and optimistic about being here.  A fresh start, the world was my oyster.  By the time I came back in November the newness had kind of worn off without me even having been here.  I pretty much just got a job and hunkered down for the winter.

And then there's a year ago.  Although the anniversary of that milestone doesn't happen until later this month, so this time was really the end of the glory days.

Two years, one starting out unsteady but ending ok, the second starting out at the bottom of a hole and slowly trying to dig myself out.

One of these nights when I'm feeling particularly self destructive I am going to take a little trip back in time on my blog.  I don't do it very often, when I do I inevitably end up feeling like I'm sitting alone watching home movies of myself and wondering what happened to my childhood.  I guess rereading old blog posts is the modern day equivalent of that?

I guess the important thing to do at milestones like these is reflect on the past and try not to repeat it.  And remember all the great things about living down here that made me excited to come in the first place.

Like running on the beach at sunset.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

the best starbucks

I notices smalls first and thought it was odd that it was pluralized.  I looked to see if it was also larges when I got the joke.  I asked who was responsible for it and the two girls pointed to the guy making the drinks with an eye roll.  I like his style, totally the kind of interactions I would have with my coworkers.

In fact, I told him the story about the time I was working at the shop in the west village and my boss got the exterior whitewashed during the middle of the day.  I put up a sign that said, "Wet Paint, check yourself before you wreck yourself".  At some point a girl came in and brushed against the door, getting white paint all over her Louis bag.  The rage on her face when she said, "I can't believe there's wet paint and no sign!" was no match for the rage on her face after I said, "oh, actually, there is a sign".  I don't think she appreciated my humor.  As I recall my boss ended up giving her a gift card to the store as compensation because she was so angry so she ended up having to come back in to use it.  The first time she came back I had no idea who she was so I just talked to her as I would any random customer.  I feel bad in hindsight because if I were her that would have pissed me off all over again.

Ahh, good times working in retail.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

rabbit rabbit rabbit

I searched for back to school rabbit images but this was the only thing I found after a few minutes of scrolling that I approved of.  It was from some kids 4H project, I was trying for something more like a rabbit in a school uniform but oh well.

The first day of September is sadly the last day of Jonathan's time down here.  : (

Maybe as a going away present he will get me this hat we saw yesterday

Cause sometimes my life does feel like a dream.  A crazy bizarre unbelievable dream.

For now I'm off to spend Jon's final hours here, trying to convince him to move down.  I hope you all are enjoying your holiday weekend, I'll be spending the rest of mine just like this month's fat cat

getting some much needed shut eye.