Tuesday, December 28, 2010

why are these so adorable?

Both Laura and Meghan replied to this picture with, "little gnomes!"

It's true.  Why do they look like this?  And they've always looked like this for as long as I remember.  It makes using food coloring so much more fun than it already is.

Anyways, I had to wait until after Christmas to post the pictures of my christmas cookies just in case any of the recipients would check my blog.  I couldn't ruin the surprise.  But here they are all decorated:

The bells were my least favorite because they looked like they were covered in nacho cheese.  I think the mittens were my favorite but the christmas trees looked the best.  I used red hots for the ornaments.

And for my sister I made chocolate covered almonds, pretzels, dried mango, and dried pineapple.  She was pleased.

As for my gifts I mostly just got the usual.  My dad did get me an herb saver that was one of Oprah's favorite things this year, and he didn't even know that when he got it for me.  So I guess that mean my dad's tastes are the same as Oprah.  I've always thought so.

Now I've just got to wait for my birthday before I give up hope of somebody getting me a new laptop and just break down and get one for myself.  In the meantime I have to conserve my battery life as I no longer have a charger thanks to a precious angel who chewed through it.  Now I have to take my laptop over to my dad's house to charge it briefly whenever I get a chance.


Friday, December 24, 2010

he's happy

What's funny is that he doesn't really seem affected at all by his view going from 6 floors above a bunch of garbage trucks to ground level of backyard full of wildlife.  Half the time when I let him out on the back porch he just sits at the sliding glass door staring inside at me.  It took him a while to figure the glass door out, I would have to stick my arm through the opening and wave to him for him to understand that's where he could walk through. 

He has since figured it out, and his new favorite move when he's ready to be let inside is to stand up on his hind legs, reach as high as he can, and then drag his claws down the glass.  It's so lovely. 

I think he still misses Weezie, he's been weirdly affectionate with me the past few days.  But I have also started him on a new diet so he's going through his usual tricks to try and get sympathy.  It reminds me of the first time Ariel's parents came to visit us and her mom told Ariel that our cat acted like it had never been pet before. 

So I guess all things considered he's acting pretty normal.  As normal as he's ever acted.  I'm just happy to see him enjoying the perks of his new living situation.

I agree with every word

Specifically the part about a good piece of fruit being ruined by a sticker. It really annoys me.  At Simple it used to bother me because we paid so much money to have organic produce but then it would have this gummy sticker on it that we would have to spend forever trying to get off.  Half the time I would just end up having to cut the sticker off completely. 

I had a similar experience with the cookie cutters I ended up getting. 

These stickers were impossible to get off and they still left gummy grossness on the side.  I was scrubbing at them for hours.  So frustrating! 

But, I did make a pretty amazing batch of cookies if you ask me:

I did martha stewart's sugar cookie recipe but my real secret weapon was Laura, my pocket martha phd.  I asked her a couple questions about baking and she proceeded to send me the most amazing email detailing what to do and how to avoid common problems, then she linked me to a bunch of NY Times articles about baking and the chemistry behind butter and why good cookies are good.  It was amazing!  Really!  I couldn't have made these beauties without the good Dr.

feels like christmas

I met Scott for a walk on the beach the other day and took this pic.  It's only been recently that I've really felt like I understand how absurd it is that days like this are the ones that feel the most like christmas to me. 

Or driving around running errands with all four windows down blasting mariah's christmas albums.  Wearing a jacket because you choose to for fashions sake.  As much as my Charleston friends also enjoy a mild winter, it's got nothing on a southern florida christmas.  There were even people in the water at the beach!  A little gutsy for me but maybe they were from Canada. 

There are of course the locals for whom the mercury dipping below 60 means it's time to bundle up hardcore.  Yesterday I went on an epic adventure to try and find cookie cutters that eventually led me to a craft store that was full of interesting characters.  Now keep in mind it was about 68 yesterday, I was wearing flip flops, shorts, and a tanktop.  The woman behind me in line went a different route when she got dressed.  She was wearing that classic burberry quilted jacket, buttoned to the neck, and then tied around her shoulders she had a cashmere sweater.  Firstly, this seemed like overkill, secondly, is that really a thing?  Is it ok to wear a sweater over your jacket?  I'm not comfortable with that. 

My other favorite woman was the one rooting through a bin of sale items and singing "O Come All Ye Faithful" as if she was doing a solo in her church choir.  And of course the line to pay was right next to her so we were all kind of awkwardly standing around listening to her just wail away while she shopped.  I didn't think people really did that. 

For now I'm taking a break while my dough hardens in the freezer before I make another batch of christmas cookies so I'm trying to get caught up on email and stuff.  I have a few more pictures to put up here and then I've got to go make my frosting. 

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


the blog I got the mucinex pic from is hilarious.

wish I'd thought of it. 

you can click here if you're too lazy to scroll down.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I hate that I supported this


I hate these commercials.  I think they are disgusting and vile and I can't believe they have been on for so long.  I don't get why they have to be from the 1950's, right down to their trips to Cuba to visit the "Coughacabana".  

However I know several people who think they are adorable.  Jon for one always talks about how cute they are.  I'm sorry, there is nothing cute about two blobs of mucus.  I mean, even the people that they are supposed to represent are gross.  A bunch of fat gross slobs who appear to be from Jersey based on their accents.  Blech.  

That being said I finally broke down and bought some Mucinex and it works miracles!  I had reservations about supporting this company, but I am now a believer.  That doesn't mean that I like these commercials though.  They still make me uncomfortable.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


This twin bed is not big enough for kitty and me so I find myself awake at 5:00am and not able to get back to sleep.

So in my online cruising I found this website through reddit.

I finally understand what nicki minaj is talking about!  Well kinda.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

it's all gravy

Word to the wise, don't do a google image search for "gravy".  Also, wtf, I assumed this was a joke but according to the site it's from it's all too real.  As I said before I try not to read the content from the page an image is from, but I saw enough to realize that this is no joke.  This man is serious about drinking gravy.  

Anyways, I just wanted to say that my postings may be sporadic for the next few weeks.  As I've mentioned my internet accessibility is limited at my father's, and I'll probably be doing festive holiday things in the coming weeks as well.  

I'm well over my 31 post mark for the month so I feel no pressure to keep up with posting for the rest of December.  I still intend to take pictures and keep up with posting but just wanted to say that I might be slightly MIA. 

As for now, if you need me I'll be having my nightly glass of gravy.


Good bye New York City, I'm sure I'll be back soon but for now I'm retreating to the warm embrace of the sunshine state. 

Yesterday did not go as badly as it could have gone, kitty was actually a precious precious angel for most of the trip.  I was the most nervous about taking him out of his carrier to go through TSA but he did fine.  I think he was a little overwhelmed but he basically just looked around at everyone while I held him and went through.  He did get compliments left and right, and even melted the icy hearts of two different stern faced TSA ladies. 

The Detective is definitely a lightweight, I learned that from this trip.  The Vet gave me extra drugs to keep him quiet in case I got stuck at the airport for a long time, but the dose I gave him at 10am before we left actually lasted the entire day, to the point that I was getting worried about him on the way home from the airport when he still seemed totally out of it. 

When I first let him out of his carrier at my Dad's he seemed pretty freaked out.  He went straight behind the toilet to hide, which was ridiculous because he didn't fit at all so his big fluffy tail was still sticking out in the middle of the bathroom.  When you looked around you could just see his little face staring straight back at you.  I felt bad. 

But it didn't take long for him to acclimate to his new surroundings.  Once he came out of the bathroom the first thing he did was climb in to the closet in my bedroom and start breaking things.  And today he's been even worse. 

I had to go to the airport to get my luggage (It was sent to Sarasota though I ended up flying in to Ft. Meyers) and my dad sent me a text message while I was away saying that the cat was aggressively purring and rubbing against his legs and if he didn't pet him right away, or if he did pet him briefly and then stop, he would hiss at him.  Now I have never EVER heard the detective hiss so this comes as a surprise to me.  Especially from wanting attention?  That just seems unusual. 

But it's true, he even hissed at me for no apparent reason when I got home.  I guess it's just retaliation for the drugging.  I hope it's not because he's upset that I separated him and Weezie.  Ariel said that Weezie is depressed : (

As for Florida it's fine.  It's of course rainy and gross today but at least the temp stayed above 60 for the entire day, even going in to the 70s.  Much better than the 20 degree (feels like 10) weather that was New York for the past two weeks.  I already made my first trip to Whole Foods and stocked up on tons of fruits and veggies so I'm a happy camper now. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

haha and this

I guess I signed myself up to featured on some website that offers blogs you might want to visit so I sometimes get hits from it.

I just went to it and this was what it said:

Pingy Web Application - Ping Tool

It seems very, "one of these things is not like the other".


Thank you jonathan for sending me this.

It reminds me of my 9th grade Biology teacher.  He was great.


Ugh, I feel so ridiculous for saying that I'll miss nyc pizza but it really is true.  I feel like a ninja turtle.

This was the sign at the pizza place in my neighborhood, it made me laugh and I decided to try to discretely take a picture.  The guy behind the counter started laughing and said that like 7 other people had taken a picture of it and that he had drawn it.  I said it was the part at the bottom that made it for me and he said, "I know, I should be in marketing".

And it's true, I put all the ones i'd been carrying around in my back pocket for the past few days in the tip jar.  Also because I got weirdly nostalgic about leaving nyc pizza.

It's true!  It's just something that can't be explained until it's experienced.

I'll be back.  I'll be back for the pizza.

he's ready for his trip

Jon bought kitty this outfit a while ago and I was always waiting until he could be here to see us put it on him but we would never remember when Jon was visiting so it had still sat unused in the coffee table.

So Nathanael said I had to put it on him before I left.  He's so handsome!!!

He basically just sat completely still.  Literally, he did not move, I even like got up and moved the lamps around so I could get more light on him and he just sat there the whole time.  I went to adjust him a little which is when he just fell over on his side like this.

Now I'm thinking maybe I'll just put this on him for the trip down tomorrow.  I don't think any tranquilizer could work as well as this little outfit.  Apparently I'm going to have to carry him through TSA.  Can you imagine if I pulled him out of his carrier and he was wearing this nice little outfit.

what is this?


Apparently somebody found my blog from this website today.  It's fascinating but I don't understand how it linked to my blog.


best friends forever

I feel really guilty about separating these nice guys.  I feel like having the detective with me and having to turn his world upside down is making me feel more nostalgic about my own leaving. 

I spent so long feeling like I lived in the middle of a construction site, which I do, that I had pushed all the great memories I have from living at this apt to the back of my mind.  But now as I'm getting ready to leave, and seeing the detective doing his usual things like looking out the window with his best bud, I am reminded of what a great chapter in my life it's been to live at this apt. 

I've lived at this place longer than any of the other places I've lived in NYC, and while it hasn't been all that long I do feel like I am such a different person now than I was when I moved in.  When I think back on all the experiences I had when this was the window I looked out of, and this was the bed I went home to every night, it's really incredible.  I have a lot of really great memories and I have a lot of really bad memories, but I know that they are all memories I'll carry with me for a long time, if not forever. 

I don't think the detective will miss weezie so much, just because I think he'll be so overwhelmed by the complete change in environment for him.  I'm really curious to see how he acts at my father's place.  The detectives first love has always been textured surfaces.  Any kind of rug or carpet or even just a piece of clothing left on the floor, will always be his number one choice of place to lay.  My dad's entire place is carpeted so I'm hoping that he will be in heaven.  But I'm also nervous that he's going to get carried away and start tearing it up with his claws.  We had a talk this morning about his behavior over the coming days, I don't think he was listening. 

I pretty much have everything ready, I have to work a 9 hour day today and then I leave for the airport at 5am tomorrow so I needed to be sure I was ready to go by now, which I am.  It definitely helps that I can leave so much stuff where it is, and that I can use the closet to store things.  Thanks Nathanael!

Now all I have to do is get through today and then deal with tomorrow.  I'm trying to think of it as an adventure, though I have a feeling it might turn in to more of a nightmare. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

not reassuring

I take the detective to the Metroville Animal Clinic on 2nd Avenue whenever he needs checking out.  They are really great there, I highly recommend. 

They have a wall of pictures of some of their patients and this guy caught my eye.  I love his name, it definitely suits him. 

But as much as I enjoyed looking at all the pictures of nice doggies and kitties, this morning didn't do anything to allay my fears about this trip on Friday.  The detective literally howled the entire way to the vet's and the entire way back. 

It was long mournful howling too, as if he was slowly being crushed to death.  I'm really concerned that they aren't even going to let me on the plane because of him. 

I did get some kitty dope for him so hopefully I can at least get him to stop with the meowing. 

The most annoying part was that when we actually took him out of the carrier at the vet's office he was totally fine.  He was acting as if he had lived at the vet's office his whole life, just kind of hanging out casually, looking around. 

I just don't understand why he always has to be so dramatic.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

i know you're kinda busy with your elves right now

I love the girls on either side of her.  If the gif isn't working you might have to click the image to open it in a new window.  I still haven't completely figured out this "internet" thing.

The article on ohnotheydidnt is worth reading as well.  It's about how Mariah's christmas special on monday night was amazing.  duh.

There's also an article on there that Jon sent me about how Mariah used camera tricks to make herself appear skinnier during it.  How is she so good?

It makes total sense.  When Nick Canon was on the View a few weeks ago I was surprised by the exchange that took place between him and Barbara.

If you don't want to watch the whole thing (although I don't know why you wouldn't) you can start around around the :45 mark to see it.

It was the first I had heard of the apparently intimate relationship between Mariah and Barbara.  It made me imagine that Mariah must like text message Barbara Walters for advice.  I love that.  And that means that Barbara Walters would have Mariah on her ipod...if she has one.  She at least would be a fan and would have gone to concerts and things.  I love that too!

And the camera tricks totally make sense.  Barbara is the queen of camera tricks, they basically coat the lense with vaseline so everything looks gentle and hazy.  So Mariah texted her and was like, "The baby weight makes me look so fat on tv!" and Babs texted back, "Just tell them to vertically stretch you when you're on camera.  Problem solved."

I hope she does her first interview after the birth with Barbara.

I need

via Reddit

I'm at the final phase of my packing experience where I basically have a handful of things left and must decide whether they are worth lugging to the airport or if I should just leave them here.  Things like dress shirts.  Will I really need dress shirts?  I don't know.  Probably not, the most dress code I've ever seen in Florida has been "no shirt no shoes no service" but then again who knows where I'll end up.  And I might actually have to go on a job interview or something so maybe I'd want to have something nice to wear than a wife beater. 

But then again I'm sure when I'm going through airport security with a heavily sedated detective I'll be thinking, "ugh why did I pack so many dress shirts?  Why didn't I just leave them in NY?"

Which is why I need this room in a box.  At least I'd know for sure that everything would fit back in to this compact little thing.  And anything that didn't fit would get chucked out the window. 

Monday, December 13, 2010


First of all let me say that all I could think while I looked at the bergdorf windows was, "GAGA OOH LA LA"

I don't know if it's just that i'm conditioned to see crazy outfits and think gaga or if there actually is a relationship but it's all I could think.

Anyways, the point is, Laura is in town for business/her birthday and today she had the whole day to herself.  I met up with her for a really nice breakfast, followed by a walk through Central Park on our way to see the windows.

I'm really really glad that we could do this, seeing the windows is one of my favorite favorite things to do in NY.  One of my favorite things in the world is when somebody with an incredible creative vision is given the opportunity to make that vision come to life.  It's why I will defend The Lion King on broadway to the death, because I just think it's incredible to see what Julie Taymor was able to do when given a blank check.

And that's what the windows remind me of.  I can't imagine what it would be like to be given this little nook on 5th ave and told that you can do whatever you want with it.  And to be given the most amazing couture gowns to work with too?  Outrageous.

I know the pictures are kinda hard to see, I was limited to snapping shots in between obnoxious people standing in my way.

There was a whole map theme at Bergdorf's, this handsome guy was made completely from shredded maps!

Though we actually did walk all over looking at windows I only really took pictures of Bergdorf's, mostly because they are always my favorite.  A lot of the other stores on 5th do themed windows that are hit or miss, but Bergdorf's always just does fantastical magical over the top windows that are impossible to not impress.

I would love to meet one of the designers and get to pick their brain about every step of the process.  I'd love to see their original vision compared to the final result.  I'd love to ask them about how much liberty they were given and how much they were expected to color in the lines.  I wonder if they're given free reign to pick the AMAZING dresses that they use or if they are given the dresses and told to build the window around it.

So many questions!!!

I think this window was my favorite:

Because it's amazing, and also because it immediately made me think of this which I would LOVE to see.  It also gave me a christina aguilera vibe, circa her back to basics album.

I did take a picture of this window at Barney's because it filled Laura with the rage of a thousand suns:

Barney's did a whole food theme to their windows this year and featured these gross caricatures of food network personalities.  Laura found issue with the fact that Sandra Lee was featured so prominently, even after I explained that she's the new first lady of New York.  She felt that it wasn't justification enough.

"She is not a food celebrity, she opens cans of soup"

I don't care what Laura says, I still love Sandra Lee.  Anybody who plans a child's birthday party around drinking is A-OK in my book.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to packing.

omg and this!

also courtesy of Reddit

How do I get invited to this cookout?

I love her outfit, I love her expression, I love her company.

I love her.


courtesy of Reddit

So I generally try to avoid posting random internet crap on my blog.  I figure it floats around enough and you'll see it eventually on your own time.  Unless I have a specific reason to discuss internet crap I find I usually just leave it be. 

But this was too good not to share.  I have no idea what's going on but I LOVE this gif.  I think you might have to click on it to get it to play, but it's worth it.

I think this is what the detective dreams about 24/7

Sunday, December 12, 2010

i dream of misogyny

I've got TV Land on in the background while I pack and clean (and tend to kitty's every need) and we're now in the middle of an, "I Dream of Jeannie" marathon.

I mean, clearly we all realize that the show is terribly dated and a perfect example of what was the norm back in the day, but wow, I hadn't actually watched an episode since I was a little kid and didn't have a clue how inappropriate it was.

You could pretty much just take the dialogue between them and use it for the perp and vic in an episode of Law and Order SVU.  It's really creepy how he always tells her to be a "good girl" and then she says, "yes master".

I will say that they are definitely the most attractive of the tv couples from the good old days.  I'd squeeze  myself in to that bottle with the two of them any day.  Well, I guess maybe Lucy and Ricky are my all time most attractive tv couple, but these guys are a close second.

the detective is in

The closet in the living room is and always has been the detectives office.  I swear, he can be fast asleep in the other room and as soon as I open the door to this closet he appears and runs right in.  He will spend hours in here.

But he's mad now because I've started filling the closet up with my junk.  I guess he doesn't have the energy to fight his way in so he's going to do a non violent protest here at the entrance to his office.

Don't look at him or touch him.  It's only a matter of time before the non violent protests turn in to an all out laser blasting blood bath.

And just so you know, this nice nice guy has helped me out once again by chewing through my computer charger cord.  As a result my ability to access the internet via my computer is limited to when I can pry ariel's computer charger out of edd's cold dead fingers.

Speaking of which the zombie needs it back so I'm off for now.

Friday, December 10, 2010

i love her

I don't know if you watch the 4th hour of the Today show with Hoda and Kathy Lee but you should really start.

And today's episode was like a holiday gift.  Kathy Lee was out so it was Hoda and some guy that is sometimes on.  Apparently Meredith Vieira was hiding in the sidelines watching and they pulled her out to be on their show for a bit.

She is so funny!  I love her.  She reminds me of Goldie Hawn in the First Wives Club, specifically in scenes like when she doesn't know Diane Keaton's name or when she goes to Bette Midler's house for the first time and says, "it's so...real".

I love how you can just read Meredith's disdain all over her face.  I seriously die laughing every time I watch that clip of her talking about the yellow dress.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


As you may or may not remember from this post I am not really a fan of people keeping exotic animals as pets.

That being said this picture is amazing!!!  Most of the other pics from these crazy people are really disturbing, but the ones of these nice guys together are so cute!  They look like they are best best friends. 

i won't miss the 6 train

While this is not actually a photo of the 6 train it is pretty close to what it's like during rush hour.  It actually might be more helpful to have MTA employees to shove everyone in. 

As long as I can get on the subway I don't generally mind the overcrowding as much as other people probably do because I'm still a good head taller than everybody else.  I definitely feel for the small people that are just stuck in the middle of everyone.  At least I'm up where the air is clear. 

But this morning's train ride just seemed unusually awkward.  It took forever for the train to actually come, and then it was one of those situations where every stop they had to make the announcement that there were trains backed up behind it.  One of those days where you wonder what happened up in the Bronx that made this train get so behind.  Some crazy person causing a scene no doubt. 

So each stop we get to we have to sit there waiting for as many people as possible to cram themselves on to the train, then they make the announcement about the other trains, then we still sit there for an additional 5 minutes or so because there's probably some crazy person at the other end of the train making a scene.  I guess because it's 27 degrees in NYC right now they aren't running any of the fans or anything on the subway cars either so we would literally be sitting at a station, bodies pressed together, in complete dead silence. 


It really was one of the most awkward subway rides I've had in the 8 years of living here.  It's always amazing to me to ride the subway and think that I'm in what is supposed to be the greatest city in the world with the best of everything created by the best minds and the subway is the best we can do for transportation. 

Don't let Dan hear me say that though.  He once chewed out some teenagers for saying that the subway was dumb.  I guess he has a point, it is incredible to think about in theory, but in execution it is terrible.  Especially after riding subways in other cities like D.C. and realizing that it doesn't have to be this way. 

I think it's fitting that everytime I come and go from the airport I have to pass through one of the absolute worst subway sections in Manhattan, the transfer from the 6 to the E at 51st St.  You half to walk about 3 city blocks underground, going up and down stairs 3 different times, through these really gross and kind of scary tunnels.  Depending on what time of day you're going through you can be in a section that is completely isolated from everyone else where you imagine the subway guy from Ghost is suddenly going to appear to tell you to get off his train.  Because I have to get to the airport by 7am for the flight to Sarasota I am always going through when there is nobody else around and it's really creepy. 

Except for the last time.  I guess there wasn't any E service at the 51st st station but they didn't have any kinds of signs up or make any kind of announcements on the 6 train so I still got off at 51st and started to make my way over to the E.  I was at my second set of stairs, the climb up for those of you who are familiar, when I heard somebody making an announcement over the loudspeaker.  I had my earphones in so I stopped to take them out, which is when I looked up and realized that there was actually just a woman standing at the top of the stairs with a megaphone making the announcement. 

When I first stopped she was still in announcement mode, saying very standard things in a monotonous voice, "there is no E service at this station, late nights and weekends, going through blah blah blah".  But at some point she realized that I was the only person listening to her and that I was actually standing there right in front of her.  At the same time I kind of felt like I needed to hear her out, like it would be rude for me to just turn around and walk away while she's in the middle of saying something that has become, for my ears only. 

So now she's basically just talking to me, she's at the top of the stairs and I'm at the bottom, and she's talking in a normal level voice, but still through the megaphone.  She's also talking to me more like a normal person now, "So what you're gonna wanna do is go down to 42nd St. ok honey, you'll get the 7 there and take it in to queens, it connects with the E out there alright?".

I think I said thank you before I turned and went back to the 6 train, but because it was so early I don't think either of us really appreciated how hilarious the interaction was.  It wasn't until I was remembering it later that I started cracking up.  I wish I had it on video, of us standing maybe 20 feet apart and having a normal conversation except she's talking through a bullhorn.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

her dogggggg

I was watching the view this morning and then left the tv on while I took a shower and got ready for work.  Ariel was in the living room on her computer when I came out to put my shoes on and junk.  The Fran Drescher Show was on tv and we both kind of got sucked in.

The real deal breaker was her dog.  omg.  How is it possible?  His little face!!! I love how he just kind of looks around like he's not even really aware what's going on, he's just smiling.

The show is really hilarious.  The episode that was on today she kept having guests on but they would just end up asking her questions about her life.  Not that I mind, I could listen to Fran tell stories all day, but it is kind of funny.  I don't think she's quite gotten the whole, 'talk show host personality' down yet.  But I aint mad at her.

If I become famous and get invited to be on her show I am going to ask her if I can hold her dog in my lap while I ask her questions about when she realized she was incredibly fabulous.

my life

I spent a good 20 minutes this morning rooting through this pile of junk looking for the various accoutrement's that I needed to weather the frigid temps outside. 

I decided that I wanted to make these next few weeks easier on myself by starting early on all my sorting, packing, cleaning, etc.  I guess what I didn't consider is that it also means I have to live the next several weeks with my life in complete chaos.  This picture is of my bedroom but the living room is also full of junk.  It's mostly piles and piles of plastic bags, which becomes the Detectives favorite place to be. 

Whenever he wants us to know that he's unsatisfied with the amount of food that we give him he starts chewing up plastic bags.  Sometimes he'll do it in front of us, just to be horrible, sometimes he will wait until we're asleep so we wake up to trash all over the apt and bits of slobber covered plastic bag pieces everywhere. 

Last night I would just hear him and weezie chasing each other through the forest of plastic bags, then it would stop, then I would hear gentle munching and I would have to go searching for that bad bad guy. 

I'm really struggling with whether or not to drug him for this trip coming up.  I feel like I could seriously regret not doing it if we sit down on the plane and he starts meowing or being otherwise terrible.  He's particularly good at pushing my buttons, so I'm sure he would wait until there was no turning back before he begins howling. 

At least my cold is going away.  My life is still in chaos but I'm feeling better, which is nice.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

why even bother?

This clip is kind of brilliant for what I wanted to post about because it happened by chance but features two people I was going to talk about.  But I don't want to get ahead of myself, let me start at the beginning.

So I was watching reruns of Law and Order SVU earlier and had it in the back of my mind that the marathon ended at 11, perfect timing for the daily show/colbert report block.  I wasn't really paying attention because it was the episode with the gay poker/sex club that makes me uncomfortable because I always end up trying to imagine what them having sex would be like.  I mean seriously?  The guy with the beard?  Blech.  But that's neither here nor there.  The point is that I wasn't paying attention and all of a sudden realized that I was watching "Psych", which meant that it was past 11.

Since I'm still not used to our new cable provider I have to manually switch through the channels until I find what I'm looking for.  As I was clicking through all of the other things that come on at 11:00 I found myself pondering something that I've pondered many times before.

Why would anybody even bother trying to have a show against the kings of TV?

There are three hours that I would never want my tv show to be aired.  11:00 am, 4:00 pm, and 11:00 pm.  Although to be fair, Oprah is going off the air after this season, though I still wouldn't want to go up against Ellen.

Which brings me to why the above clip is so perfect.  When the new Conan show was announced the first thing I thought was, "why on earth would he go up against the daily show?".  I feel like they appeal to the same demographic, but while I think that Conan is really funny, I actually appreciate that they cover real news topics on the Daily Show, thus my tv is always set to Comedy Central between the hours of 11 and 12.  Similarly, why would you ever watch anything besides Oprah between the hours of 4 and 5?  I mean what else is there?  Judge Judy?  I know it's Ariel's favorite show but it's no competition for the big O.

So anyways when I was trying to figure out what image I could use for this post that I wanted to do I remembered seeing this Oprah bee clip somewhere and went on the hunt.  I actually had no idea that it was from the Conan show when I went searching for it.  It's pretty incredible that I was able to tie in two of the people I wanted to write about anyways so seamlessly.

It's like it was meant to be.  That's the best kind of post.

Google search finally pays off

Whenever I need a picture for a post I do a google image search and then pick the best thing that comes up in the first handful of results.  I never actually look at the website the image is from until after I've done my own post because I don't want to be influenced by the original poster of the pictures. 

Once I'm finished with my post I will go back and look at the site the picture is from and usually say, "wtf" and wonder if anybody who reads my blogs ever actually goes to the websites I link as the source for a picture. 

I think I do it this way because I am afraid that if I do too much research in to where a picture is from then it will color my post, or at least make me not want to use a particularly great picture because I don't want to be affiliated with the website it's from.  So instead I take the completely irresponsible approach of "as long as I don't know about it, it can't hurt me" and post away. 

This time however, was different. 

I love her blog!  I am still glad that I waited until after I posted my sick post before reading hers, since it is 1000x better than mine. 

And she made a t-shirt with a yoga joke?  It's like we're secret soul mates.


Not sure why my post uploaded early but I hope you enjoyed the doggy.

I feel really terrible today.  I don't know why, I haven't been doing anything that would get me sick lately.  I think it's just the lack of good food whenever I'm in new york.  It's really crazy how different my diet is between here and Florida. 

When I woke up this morning the last thing I wanted to do was come to work, but now I feel like I'm glad I had to.  If I had just stayed home all day wallowing in my own sick I probably would have ended up feeling worse.  Might as well get out of the house, make myself presentable, all that. 

That being said I look forward to getting home and spending some quality time with that handsome nice guy that lets me live at my apt.  And I'm not talking about Nathanael. 

This morning, when I was getting ready to leave, the detective was just lounging on my bed being nice.  I decided to give him some gentle pets before I left for work.  I guess I didn't consider that he would think my mittened hands were some sort of delicious creature for him to maim and eat.  It ended up being like a horrible feline chinese finger trap.  Every time I would try to detangle my mittens from his claws/teeth he would see think the terrible hand creature he had captured was trying to get away and would begin gnawing on my finger while kicking me with his back legs. 

The part of the story I don't understand is why he never chases anything that he is actually supposed to chase.  He doesn't even react when he sees a bug or when we bring home a new toy.  He just stares vacantly in to space.  But when I am trying to have a tender moment with him, that's when his blood lust takes over. 

Aww I miss him, now i'm excited to get home and see him. 

Monday, December 6, 2010


Meghan pointed out this man made of tar on Ave A between 5th and 6th.  She said she's never seen anybody else stop and notice it.  I don't blame them.  Apparently I don't look at the rorschach test that is the gunk on the sidewalk as much as Meghan.

I mean, I guess it's cool?  I am just uncomfortable with how much it looks like it's made from pieces of gum.

And if there's one there must be more.  Does anybody know of any other pavement faces in the city?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

epic kayaking post

**Part two of the series, "The Lost Posts", for those of you who are keeping track.  Also, please  note that these pictures are presented to you as recovered from my sim card, in their original order.  I am going to try and remember why each picture was significant when I took it like 2 weeks ago.  **

So my brother and I went out on another kayaking expedition, starting from the same place as this time, only we went in a different direction.  A very different direction.  My brother, in a scene not unlike something that would happen at the beginning of a remake of "The Legend of El Dorado", made claims to a magical canal that he saw on a map but could never find.  Now was the time he said, only together could we solve the clues and find out way to the legendary golden city.

It seemed the perfect day for it, and things started out similarly enough.  Nice wide open channels, the gnarled branches of the mangroves merely a part of the scenery at this point.  Certainly nothing to be afraid of, you're not imagining each branch covered in mother spiders ready to release their offspring on to the first thing that brushes against their home.  Neither was I.

But we'll get to that part, don't worry.  For the time being it was smooth sailing.  But we did eventually get to a crossroads, the last exit to the intra-coastal.

"Wait wait, take a picture when the boat's going through!" says my brother from behind me.

"ok, why?" I ask as I time it just right.

"I dunno".

So enjoy, courtesy of my brother's artistic direction.  A boat.  Little did I realize I'd soon yearn to see such signs of civilization.

We continued to go further in the mangroves, going through more narrow openings like these that led in to open waters once again, but limited access to those of us in smaller vessels.

I remember already at this point noticing how glassy and still the water was.  The only ripples on the surface were the ones created by us, implying that nobody or nothing had come by in quite some time.

At this point we had gone back and forth along this one section of mangrove looking for the channel that my brother had seen on the map.  I remembered that the program I use on my phone to track my walking workouts could probably also track our kayaking expedition, at least helping us figure out where we had already been and looked.

Well the map it pulled up was pretty much the same as the map my brother had seen, and it definitely implied that there was an extremely wide channel directly in front of us.

Here is what the channel actually looked like:

The only thing that we could figure out was that the map had been drawn based on depth and not the actual width of the waterway.  On the map it was comparable to the size of I-75, so I guess it's no wonder we didn't think we'd be passing through this amazing mangrove path.

At this point the map was confirming that we were on the right path, and let me tell you, nothing compels me to carry on more than a mysterious twisting pathway through an erie mangrove swamp.

It seemed like every time we'd start to get out of it and get our hopes up that we were on the right track again we'd just get right back in to the thick of it.

At least at this point we were only getting up in the gnarled roots of the mangroves when I would be trying to take a picture and my brother would paddle us directly in to the wall.  But when we were both paddling we could stay pretty much right in the middle, just out of their reach.

It was pretty much constantly like this through this whole part, you could see that it kept going but ultimately the path would twist just out of sight.  The further we went in the more we talked about remembering how far we were going and that we'd still have to go back at some point, yet we continued to push forward.  At this point we were still on one path, it wasn't like we'd have to remember how to get back, just turn around.

oh what's that?  It looks like it's opening up ahead, just have to push through these last overhanging branches!

umm ok, well still kind of overhanging, but I can see sunlight ahead!  Surely just around this next turn it will open up.

Just kidding!  I think this was the point when my brother took his paddle apart so it was like two mini paddles and used those to get us through.  I was in charge of getting rid of all the spiderwebs.  I decided my face would be the best tool for the job so for the most part I would just sit looking at the beautiful foliage until I realized a spiderweb was wrapping around my face at which point I would scream and claw at my face.

My brother would offer helpful comments from behind me like, "Oh my god you're covered in ants!!" followed by, "I'm just kidding i'm just kidding, you're not.  But you are covered in spider eggs."

I think this was the first time that we started noticing that the plants at the waters edge were changing.  We continued through this passage for a bit longer and then it suddenly opened up and seemed to be completely brackish.  It was like a whole new world.

We were beginning to realize that we were heading deeper in to town.  We had somehow gotten ourselves hooked in to the city.

It was kind of weird.  Do you ever drive over a meandering stream and wonder where it goes and what it would be like to travel down it?

Well this is it baby!

The further in we went the more the landscape started to change.  It was crazy to think that we had started out so close to the gulf and now we were in almost completely fresh water.

And just when we would think that we were reaching the end of the line, that we must be in the absolute middle of nowhere, we'd turn a corner and come upon something like this:

Oh somebody's house.  Somehow we are now in a neighborhood.  I guess we're not so much "lost in the middle of nowhere" as "in the middle of suburbia".

So of course we had to keep going.

We had seriously gone so far and had so many times when we thought we'd reached the end of the line only to have it open up into a scene like this that we actually called our father to ask if he would come and get us if we got stuck somewhere and couldn't get out.  We figured that it would eventually get dark and we didn't particularly want to have to go through the creepy mangroves at night.

But no sooner had we called our father than we actually did reach the end of the line.

I know it looks like it keeps going, and I suppose that it probably does, but it was super shallow through here and neither one of us wanted to get out and pull the boat through so we used this as a good place to stop and turn around.

I didn't take any pictures on the way back, partially because I figured I had taken enough, and also because we were concentrating on not dawdling and getting back before dark.  I was also using the program on my phone to retrace our path.  We definitely got lost at one point going back, but our timing ended up being perfect for when we finally found our way our of the mangroves and back in the channels that lead out to the gulf and back to the truck.  Here are the last pictures that I took from the kayak:

And because blogger will only let me put videos i've uploaded at the end of my posts, here is a video I took at the beginning of this day.  I wish I coulda gotten better detail cause it was pretty wild.  The totally saw us and swam directly over to our boat to check us out!