omg I love her!

How had I never heard about her until today on dlisted because she came out of the closet?!  I guess because I don't watch Glee?

Omg I loved this video!!  My favorite part is when they cut to Oprah right after the key change and she's just shaking her head.  Can anybody make me a gif of that?

And since she brought it up I had to hear her Mariah




Perfect!  Close enough without being a bad copy.  She's my new favorite.

it's still true

When I was little there are two cds that I remember my Dad having in his car.  One was the soundtrack to Pretty Woman, and the other was I'm Your Baby Tonight.

I think the problem with Whitney, especially having Whitney be one of your first music memories, is that it sets a pretty high standard.  I feel like I compare every new artist I hear against her and am unimpressed.

Few even come close.




But for those who can compete it's like she offered the greatest challenge.  Can you keep up?

Ugh, how sad.  She will be missed.

For Jon

And I agree Jonathan, Oprah's face is amazing.

Last night I got in to a drunken fight with some gays about Mariah (as I tend to do) which I won after the following exchange.

Angry gay:  You probably saw Glitter in the theater didn't you.

Me: No, I wasn't old enough, but I saw it on Youtube.

Angry gay:  I am going to stab you.

flavorful

I was drawn to this beer initially because of "unibroue" because frankly, who doesn't enjoy a good unibrow.  When I read the description I was even more interested, something to the affect of, "green apple beer...NOT CIDER...beer".

When I poured the beer in to the glass the aroma of green apple was so strong it made me nervous to even try it.  After having had some bad experiences with green apple-tinis I am very particular about when I can drink green apple flavored things.  Surprisingly though the beer tasted nothing like green apple.  It was very strange, but not unpleasant.  The bartender asked me how I liked it and I told her and she said, "I know right?!" before taking a big sniff of the empty bottle.  That was also strange, yet not unpleasant.

Most of the beers on the list are about the same price give or take a dollar, but there are a few that are dramatically more expensive.  I decided that I should knock one of them off my list while I was feeling adventurous so I ordered this barn owl beer:

It was described as having a toffee flavor (which it did) that sounded delivious (which it was).  I figured toffee must be hard to add to beer or something and that's why it was so expensive until I turned the bottle around and read the back:

First lets discuss how "fuggles" sounds like a word Meghan would play in scrabble and then look at me patronizingly when I doubted its actually being a word.  I'm sure she would just nonchalantly say something like, "Oh I have some leftover fuggles in the fridge from the last batch of beer Sam and I made"

But the point is that suddenly the price of the beer made sense and I felt like I had done something good for the barn owls.  Won't somebody please think of the barn owls?!  Apparently these lushes are.

All in all I was pleased with my beer selection last night.  They satisfied my cravings in exactly the way I didn't even realize they needed to be satisfied.  That's always the best scenario, like when Mariah surprises you with a high note, or when Oprah pretends she's doing a show about sex offenders but then it ends up being her favorite things episode.

I think I'm still drunk.

bees!

I love Florida for roadside signs like this one.

It also made me think of this, which always makes me laugh:

whoa

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I fell asleep yesterday right after oprah (too much excitement) and stayed asleep until 6 this morning.  13 hours?  Seems excessive.

I had many strange and wonderful dreams during this time.  The only one that I remember is that I was going to a birthday breakfast for Dan really early in the morning.  I drove to the bar where we were meeting, yes early morning brunch at a bar didn't and doesn't sound too unusual, and found Dan along with the rest of my family.  He had decided that for his birthday present he wanted to get my family together for a reunion and reconciliation.

It was very overwhelming and I woke up wanting to give Dan a piece of my mind.  So here it is, Dan, don't ever do anything like that ok?  Otherwise you will be sitting at your drunken birthday breakfast with me sitting across from you, wedged between my grandfather and my brother, shooting you dirty looks over a plate of ill prepared huevos rancheros.

Unless that really is your birthday wish in which case commence with preparations.

love!

the OWN network makes me think of Meghan's mother, who has repeatedly encouraged meghan to watch it and I couldn't agree more.

Somebody on youtube commented on how the lady at the very end has zero reaction to his joke.  Haha, I can't stop laughing about her, but otherwise this clip is amazing.  I love how even though his questions are beyond brilliant Oprah answers them as if she's just been waiting for somebody to ask her.

i love her

I would never be brave enough to read that book out in public like that.  And on the bus?  Never.

It makes me think of the time Lilly and I sat next to each other on the subway without realizing it.  All I knew was that I could tell the girl sitting next to me was eyeballing my ipod as I looked for a song and I knew she was judging my music tastes.  Sure enough she had to sneak a peak at me to see what kind of a person would have TLC's Creep on a playlist with the spice girls.  Had it not been for her nosiness we might have gone the whole trip without realizing the other was there.

But my point was that I was even self conscious about my music when I knew somebody was looking at it, I can't imagine just sitting on a park bench reading my hardcover copy of "Knockin' Boots".

Or am I being an idiot?  Was this on Oprah's bookclub list and is actually a catchy name for a feelgood story about a teacher who turns a young kids life around?  I'm way too tired to google is so you'll have to do it for me and let me know.  Thanks.

In the meantime, enjoy her as I did when I saw her on the corner yesterday afternoon.  As you can tell it's cold here.  Boo.

omg and this!

also courtesy of Reddit

How do I get invited to this cookout?

I love her outfit, I love her expression, I love her company.

I love her.

why even bother?

This clip is kind of brilliant for what I wanted to post about because it happened by chance but features two people I was going to talk about.  But I don't want to get ahead of myself, let me start at the beginning.

So I was watching reruns of Law and Order SVU earlier and had it in the back of my mind that the marathon ended at 11, perfect timing for the daily show/colbert report block.  I wasn't really paying attention because it was the episode with the gay poker/sex club that makes me uncomfortable because I always end up trying to imagine what them having sex would be like.  I mean seriously?  The guy with the beard?  Blech.  But that's neither here nor there.  The point is that I wasn't paying attention and all of a sudden realized that I was watching "Psych", which meant that it was past 11.

Since I'm still not used to our new cable provider I have to manually switch through the channels until I find what I'm looking for.  As I was clicking through all of the other things that come on at 11:00 I found myself pondering something that I've pondered many times before.

Why would anybody even bother trying to have a show against the kings of TV?

There are three hours that I would never want my tv show to be aired.  11:00 am, 4:00 pm, and 11:00 pm.  Although to be fair, Oprah is going off the air after this season, though I still wouldn't want to go up against Ellen.

Which brings me to why the above clip is so perfect.  When the new Conan show was announced the first thing I thought was, "why on earth would he go up against the daily show?".  I feel like they appeal to the same demographic, but while I think that Conan is really funny, I actually appreciate that they cover real news topics on the Daily Show, thus my tv is always set to Comedy Central between the hours of 11 and 12.  Similarly, why would you ever watch anything besides Oprah between the hours of 4 and 5?  I mean what else is there?  Judge Judy?  I know it's Ariel's favorite show but it's no competition for the big O.

So anyways when I was trying to figure out what image I could use for this post that I wanted to do I remembered seeing this Oprah bee clip somewhere and went on the hunt.  I actually had no idea that it was from the Conan show when I went searching for it.  It's pretty incredible that I was able to tie in two of the people I wanted to write about anyways so seamlessly.

It's like it was meant to be.  That's the best kind of post.

no phone zone

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There were better pictures pertaining to her no phone zone pledge but once i saw this one i couldn't resist.

My phone was supposed to be here yesterday.  Still no sign of it.  According to the UPS tracking number it is en route, yet I still have seen hide nor hair.

It's funny how in a lot of ways I don't miss my phone.  There are definitely times when I notice that it's not there.  I do the triple tap periodically throughout my day; right pocket for keys, left pocket for cell phone, back pocket for wallet.  I definitely catch myself each time when I tap my left pocket only to feel my own supple thigh.

and I miss having something to distract myself with when I need to feel important, but otherwise it's been very liberating to be unreachable.  Or to know that the people who really need to get in contact with me will figure out a way.

However, I was not prepared for those things that you cannot prepare for.  Things like this morning when, for the first time since I lost my phone, I actually needed to wake up at a specific time.  Not only do we not have an alarm clock in our entire apt I came to realize, we don't even have a clock.  I had to set my internal alarm clock last night and then rely on that and those two horrible cats to get me up in time for work.

Or at work today when I was trying to plan out the events of the next month and I went to look at the calendar on my phone.  Oops, no phone.  I seriously couldn't figure out a way to find a calendar.  I tried google searching for calendars and it literally drove me to the point of tears.  One of my coworkers finally pulled up a calendar on his phone and gave it to me to use.

And then there's the moment that I just had now that I'm home.  It's pretty cold in nyc right now so as I headed to the subway from work I just kept thinking how nice it would be to get home.  I considered stopping on the way home and picking up food, or stopping at the grocery store, but even taking those extra moments to be outside sounded terrible to me.  All I wanted to do was be home, and I had one of those, 'good thing I live in nyc' moments when I decided that I would just order take out.

fuck you guy that picked up my phone and then took it with him on vacation.

It literally wasn't until I had the whole stack of menus in front of me that I realized I had no way to call them.  So I guess it will be dinner of the leftover boxes of pasta and the half liter of jim beam in the freezer for me.

Lies

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I google searched for "sexy male secretary" and believe it or not this was the only picture that even came close.  wtf?

Anyways, I was under the impression that if I wore a low cut blouse and did a lot of smiling I could have a cushy job sitting behind a desk at any company U.S.A.

Lies! 

I have spent every day this week at work sending out resumes to anybody I can possibly send a resume to.  Like seriously.  I've actually just started going to websites for businesses that I would like to work at and then sending them my resume begging them to hire me. 

Lets see, what kind of work did my education prepare me for.  Well we did lots of group projects, eye to eye knee to knee, pqp, etc.  Oh and there was that time we had to do the 100 source annotated bibliography, that was hard.  Hmm.  Let's see, an hour and a half of theatre class, 5 days a week for 7 years.  That's got to count for something right?  right?

::cricket cricket::

I got an A on a book report I wrote based entirely on the back jacket of the book.  I think that pretty much sums up my experience with "work". 

  Dear Oprah,

         May I please live on your island while you are not using it?  I can make myself scarce whenever you want to come by, I promise.  Thanks.

   xoxo