Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts

Monday, June 11, 2012

the most disturbing email I've received in a long time


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RedCap 
12:26 PM (1 hour ago)




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As all of us have heard by now that there was a gruesome attack on a homeless man by a guy that was under the influence of something clearly not of this world. The crime was very serious and obviously 100% avoidable had the guy in question not ingested 4 lbs of bath salts. Hey kids, guess what? Bath salts make you completely insane. And as you have grown accustomed to, we do not endorse mishaps that are 100% avoidable. Starting today, we are taking a hard line stance against Zombies and are pleased to announce our newest guarantee: No Zombie Eating Cannibals Guarantee (we're working on better name) when using a RedCap Driver. Rest easy friends.

Then we thought, we should revisit the Zombie Preparedness plan we created last year. In 2011, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) released a Zombie Apocalypse preparedness plan as a publicity stunt to bring attention to the need for always being prepared. Naturally, we released our version of the preparedness plan known as the RedCap Prepare Yourself for Awesomeness Plan or RCPYFAP (pronounced: erc*pie*fap) for ease of language. And it goes a little something like this.



Boom. Zombie avoidance complete, awesomeness in effect. 


  

The email goes on to talk about the company and what they do and how great they are at driving your car.  

I mean, I like the zombie apocalypse as much as the next guy but this is just confusing to me.  

Friday, June 1, 2012

just another dream date


Last night I went out to dinner with my new friend Rebecca.  After I texted her saying I would pick her up at her apt at 7 she declared it the best date she had ever been on.

She was blown away that I even had topics of conversation prepared ahead of time.  Well, mainly just the topic of zombies.  I didn't even have to bring it up though, apparently it's on everybody's mind down here.

I told her that Sarah was sending the pictures of the guy with no face to her friends randomly and Rebecca loved it.  She commented that she needed to do that more.  A few moments later my phone vibrated, I had received that picture of Magic Johnson from her.  Her explanation; "I really like Magic Johnson".

I'm glad I made a new friend just in time for Heather to ditch me.  Plus I know that Heather is seething with jealousy as she reads this.

Mwahahaha.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

rabbit rabbit rabbit


I kinda wish I had used this one for last month's, but I like the one I chose for last month too.  I just found this one this morning and couldn't resist.  I LOVE HIS LITTLE FACE!  And that he is just sitting there like all the other bunnies, just being nice.

I know I say this every month but I can't believe it's (insert current month here)!!  Can you?  It seems like just yesterday that it was (insert previous month here).  Wow how time flies.

I have absolutely nothing written on my calendar for the entire month so far except for "flea meds" on the 24th.  That's for the detective, not me, in case you were wondering.  It actually specified on the flea meds that they were not to be used on humans, which scares me.  It scares me as much as the fact that the flea meds were prescription.  How do you abuse flea medication?  Snort it?  When in doubt, snort it.

I do have my charleston/lake lure trip on the horizon, but I don't know when anything is actually happening so I have resisted writing anything on my calendar.  I guess I could put down my appt I have to get new tires on my car this monday.  Now I feel important!

While I go organize my life for the month, or walk to starbucks so I can see all my nice doggy friends along the way, you can enjoy this month's Barbie:


She's not my favorite, to be honest, but she is trying bless her heart.  For one I don't care for her zombie queen of the undead makeup look somebody did on her, and for two I don't care for the school of tyra banks broke down doll posing.  The dress is unremarkable, and what is she carrying a beach towel?  I was hoping for something a little more spring chic, though I do like that she's wearing her signature color again.  I think it's just a little too much, but maybe it will grow on me in the coming weeks.  For now, I'm off to get coffee.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

walking to work


I guess the leaves changed this weekend while I was away.  Today's walk to work was beyond beautiful.  These were the first trees I noticed on 3rd Ave and 96th St.  I actually know a New York Times journalist who went to school at this school right here.  I don't know if you knew that. 

My walk to work took my through central park where it was just incredible anywhere you looked. 



Right here at the great lawn is where I ran in to Meghan one day so now every time I walk past it I see her in the face of every passing stranger.  I was convinced that I saw her three different times today before I finally let go of the dream.  But if ever there were a perfect day for Meghan to be sitting on a park bench in Central Park it would be today.  

Further down in my walk I got to this spot, where I took a picture a few weeks ago.  I thought it was cool how much the landscape has changed in such a short time, with all the new colors on the trees.



What do we think the seating is for?  The NYC marathon?  Is that coming up?  I know I've seen a lot of subway commercials about how Jared is running it.  I can't ever keep track of these things.  Isn't there also a bike race right around halloween?  I feel like I got stuck in the middle of that last year while wearing a really embarassing halloween costume. 

This tree was so vibrant I think it overloaded my camera.  It looked like the leaves were made of gold!  I wanted to take a video because there were gold leaves swirling all around in the afternoon light, but there were a lot of annoying people around me and I didn't want their commentary on my video. 

Sadly all good things must come to an end and I eventually reached the end of my walk. 



Out of the park and back in to the jungle.  I always feel slightly intimidated looking at the buildings here from the edge of the park.  I just want to run back and hide in a tree, I know what awaits me as I go further in to that mess.

Actually I had no idea what awaited me today.  When I got to times square there was a team of zombies roaming around.  It was really cool, you would see a group of people standing at the corner waiting to cross the street and then realize that a couple of them were just stumbling around with blood covering the entire front of their bodies.  I was going to take a picture but I was afraid that if I engaged them they would turn on me and attack.  Better to play the cool new yorker, too busy to be bothered by the living dead. 

For all I know maybe they really were zombies.