First of all, it took me literally days to get this far. My employee referral meant that I got an email from the person responsible for hiring with a link to the online application I needed to fill out. When I followed the link it took me to a screen asking me to enter my username and password for the online application but there was no link to take me somewhere to create a username and password. Trust me, nowhere.
I tried going to the main homepage for my hopefully new future workplace but it's such a big organization that the main webpage was too broad. I finally ended up having to google how to apply to this place before I finally found the place to create a username. This is where I encountered my next roadblock, the impossible Captcha.
Am I crazy? Does this make sense to anybody else?! It didn't matter how many times I refreshed the image, it was always a picture of three numbers, and when I would enter them I would get this pop up:
If anything I should have been entering the security code!! It's the two words I could never figure out. I finally ended up clicking on the audio Captcha for the seeing impaired. It proceeded to play a recording of different people saying a series of 5 numbers. Mysteriously, it accepted the five numbers as proof that I was human and finally allowed me to create an account, JUST SO I COULD FILL OUT THE APPLICATION.
Little did I know I may have won the battle but the war ahead was a long and brutal one. Imagine twelve pages (that's TWELVE) of questions like this:
I mean, that's deep. It also said at the intro to the questionnaire section that the computer was designed to be able to tell if I was just trying to answer the questions in a way that would just make me look good but not be "honest" and also that it would time how long it took me to answer each individual question. At first I didn't think it would be that big a deal, a lot of the questions you can see are pretty benign. But then we got to the real existential ones and I felt my brow begin to bead with sweat.
There were also a lot of questions about what other people thought of me that were impossible to answer. "Do your coworkers consider you adventurous?". I have no idea! I have never asked, and I really don't care if people think I'm adventurous or not so I haven't really given it any thought until this moment right now. Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Neither Disagree nor Agree, Agree, Strongly Agree. There was a lot of N on that survey of mine.
Here's hoping the computer judges me well.