me today

source

To be honest I'm scared to leave the house today, which is what led me to google searching for images of Sigourney Weaver in Copycat; my favorite agoraphobia based thriller.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, thanks to my upstairs neighbor.  He has a history of sounding like he's either moving furniture or getting shaken down by the mob during the tender moments just before daybreak.  I know what it's like to live in the upstairs unit and have crazy people downstairs complain about noises you don't think you're making, so I usually try to avoid saying anything about it to him.  This morning I decided to go to starbucks to avoid the issue, thinking he would be gone by the time I got back.

On my way to starbucks I got cut off by a guy who didn't realize I was going slow because the car in front of me was turning right.  No sooner did he cut me off then he had to swerve back in to the middle lane, then I watched as he pulled in to starbucks.

I couldn't resist the urge and ended up commenting on his driving, and oh did we get in to it.  The people of starbucks were quietly chuckling at our exchange.  I just don't understand people who shit where they sleep.  I drive like an asshole too sometimes but not when I'm about to pull in to a starbucks where I could potentially get confronted by somebody that I just cut off moments before.

Of course I get back to the apt just as my upstairs neighbor is leaving his place.  I was still raging from starbucks and couldn't hold back with him.  At one point Heather, having heard my voice, opened her door with a smile on her face that quickly changed to a look of terror when she saw my hulk rage.  I think I glared at her once before she quietly closed the door and retreated to safety.

After having my coffee, working out, and taking a shower I was starting to feel more like myself, which meant I was starting to have remorse for my morning rampage.  No sooner had I told Heather that I felt bad for yelling at the upstairs neighbor when who should pull in but the man himself.  I intended to try and smooth things over, the conversation went something like this:

Me:  Hey I'm sorry for raging at you this morning.

Him:  No man, I would too, it sucks.  I don't know what it could be that makes so much noise, it must be either my ironing board or maybe the drawers of my armoir when I pull them out.

Me:  Is your armoir just sitting on the floor?

Him:  Yeah, as opposed to what?

Me:  Well I mean is it on a rug or is it sitting directly on the tile?

Him:  It's directly on the tile, there's nothing I can do about that.

(ummmmm, you could put it on a rug)

Him:  How are you still here?  Do you ever work?

(...yes...at night...which is why it sucks to get woken up at 7 every morning...)

Me:  Yes, actually I'm on my way now.

At which point I went in to my apt before the rage bubbled to the surface again.  Which brings me to the point of all this, I am scared to go to work tonight.  I feel like something is going to happen on my drive to work, or I am going to get in to it with a customer some how.  Something's going down today and I'm scared.

Wish me luck.

they're very health conscious in l.a.

source (courtesy of Laura)

bonus points if you know what movie the title of my post is from.

Apparently L.A. has banned plastic bags.  I'm unclear if it is related to this woman or not but I love her. 

That's totally cool that they did this.  Plastic bags are so gross.  The last time I was in Florida I was at the grocery store buying fruit and shit and I go up to the checkout and get behind the grossest guy ever.  He literally had a towering stack of steaks piled on the conveyor belt along with various other meat related cook out things.  I watched as the check out girl scanned each package of steaks and the numbers on the screen climbed up to the multi-hundreds.  When everything had finally been rung up he nodded approvingly to the offer of plastic bags and I watched as they wrapped each steak container in a plastic bag, then put them in additional plastic bags. 

I felt like I could feel the earth growing warmer as this man went through the checkout.  I also felt like I was in a prius in traffic next to hummer sitting behind him with my mango, papaya, strawberries, and reusable bags. 

I miss paper bags, why did those go by the wayside anyways?  They have such a satisfying smell, and they're so much easier to fold and store than plastic bags.  And I feel like walking out of a grocery store with plastic bags makes you look like a pack mule, but sashaying down the street with your brown sack with the fennel and baguette poking out the top says, "hey look at me, I'm just like Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters"

So I guess what i'm saying is way to go L.A.  I wish I could live in your beautiful bag free county.