I swear it's coincidental

source

So the comparison has been made between me and Smith Jared from Sex and the City in that I have long blond hair and I worked at a raw vegan restaurant.  Stina in particular loves to point out the comparison when we're working together.

Well last night we had the grand opening party for the new store and it was hosted by some new liquor company that had set up a little bar area in the back of the store.  Much to my displeasure I got stuck in the back of the store, relegated to fitting room duties.  Had I not been however, I may not have interacted with the bartenders as much as I did, and they may have never asked me to be a liquor model for them.

I actually didn't think of Smith Jared initially, as soon as I heard "liquor model" I immediately thought of one of my idols, Megan Hauserman from VH1 reality fame:

source

But truthfully my trajectory is more similar to Smith Jared.  I'm kind of disappointed though, I mean, Smith was waaaay less interesting than Megan.  And I'd much rather be with Bret Michaels than Kim Cattrall.  But I don't know that Megan was ever a liquor model, though she definitely should be.

So I will be happy with being Smith Jared for now.  Will keep you posted about my first gig as slutty shot girl!

research at Target

Sometimes when I'm at a place like Target I browse through the pool/backyard fun area and look at the pictures on the boxes.  It's always been one of my dreams that I would be in the photo shoot for the pool floatie box, or the floating basketball hoop, or the slip n' slide.

Of course once I start down this path I get lost for hours looking at all the crazy things at Target that I usually breeze right past.  Like this highly unsettling quote from Kevin, age 11.

Or this woman who I am convinced is that girl from Rock of Love who I can't seem to find on any google search:

Was she one of the brandi's?  I don't remember, I think she was on I Love Money and Charm School though.  And now apparently she's posing for the outdoor water castle box.  I want her career.

Also in the pool section I found this boy:

Ok, he's excited about slippin' and slidin', I get it, he's good.  Then I walked down a few boxes and saw this:

Is it the same picture photoshopped to look different?  Or is this kid just that good?  He gets a call on saturday morning, "Hey Johnny, we got a shoot for a new pool toy today you in?"  He's got a pair of board shorts in green that have yet to grace a box so he goes for it.  Just gotta stretch my hamstrings first, gonna be a day of heavy squatting.

Winding my way through the pool/outdoor section meant that I transitioned seamlessly in to the toy section which captivated me for quite some time.  I mean have you seen some of the lego sets they have these days?  I wanted everything.

But I wanted nothing as much as I wanted this:

If they had had these when I was little I woulda bought the shit out of them.  WHAT COULD IT BE?!  I was going to buy it but then I decided I'd rather let the mystery live on.  It could be anything.  It could even be my car!  What if it was my car, omg now I have to go back to Target.