why i hate rain

This is me walking to work on a rainy day in NYC.  Please note how I tower above the rest of the people on the sidewalk.  While normally this works to my advantage, allowing me to survey the crowds for opportunities to dart ahead of slow walkers, on rainy days my height becomes my Achilles heel. 

For one, on rainy days, people with umbrellas become limited to only being able to see the area directly in front of them and downward.  Thus they tend to just walk directly towards you without realizing until the very last moment.  This is the point when they decide that they need to lift the umbrella up over their head to allow the person they are approaching to slip underneath unscathed. 

A nice idea, if the person they are approaching is as stumpy legged as they are, but for those of us given the gift of height, it becomes a harrowing experience.  You see, raising your umbrella up above your head only puts the pointy metal tips at the ends of your umbrella right at eye level for me:

And because most people don't do this until the last possible moment, it means I never have any idea when it's coming.  I'm just walking along, trying to get where i'm going, and every few seconds I'm suddenly thrown in to fight or flight mode as this big black shadow with glinting silver barbs comes rushing up towards my face. 

I end up making my entire commute in one of two defensive stances.  The goalie:

or the duck and cover:

Maybe what I should do is get a pair of fake glasses to wear on rainy days so I at least feel like I'm protecting my vulnerable eye area.  Although I guess if I had an eye patch it would be fun to tell people how I lost my eye. 

"Yeah it got stabbed out by some 5'2'' chick on 42nd St."

creep

This is some watcher in the woods shit if you ask me.  You don't know what its like to be sitting in your room, vulnerable, thinking you're alone, until you turn your head and realize that someone is watching you.  Someone or something.

And you never know where you're going to see the eyes either.  You're rooting around under your bed for your suitcase, move a shoe, and come face to face with two glowing orbs of terror.

In this case I was sitting at my desk working on my computer and I looked out the window and realized somebody was peepin' at me through the leaves of my plant.

I took a bunch of pictures because he wasn't really even looking at me.  He was just laying there staring vacantly straight ahead of him, as if in a coma.

How is this the most comfortable place in the entire apt?

some girls get all the luck

jealous

i want to fall in to the arms of a handsome doctor

finally

I really really like that the title for this on youtube includes the description "extra festive".  I also like how the picture of her on the album cover looks like it was from one of those photo set ups they would have at school parties.

reward yourself for voting today and download this album.

an email from meghan

I meant to tell you that my ride home was like an extension of our experience at the Heidelberg, except x1000.  Like, add 7 of that crazy old man, and then gather them tightly around you and then lock the doors and go deep underground and then just sit there.  One crazy started talking to another about how yoga “made him go all cold inside, even though it was 100 degrees in the park!  And maybe he has yogic powers.”  He might have had yogic powers, but he didn’t have any teeth, I can tell you that much.  A man was lurching through the train screaming how it was “Ugly People Day,” and to just look around you, and “see all the Ugly People on your left and right” and right as I looked to my left, a little girl threw up into her bag of candy.

end of the glory days

Yesterday seemed terribly appropriate to be the last day of October, even more so looking back today after walking in the bitter November cold this morning.  Even though it was chilly yesterday there was still an element of summer in the air. 

I spent most of the day laying on the couch watching the SVU fan favorite marathon.  I agreed with most of their choices, and was glad that they did classic episodes with random actors instead of the stupid ones with celebrity guest stars.  Sorry Marty Short, you just don't cut it on my fan favorite list.  At the same time though it wasn't really my ideal favorite episodes either.  If it were my favorite episode marathon it would have just been every time Mariska goes undercover.  "I know mom but men don't grow on trees!"

I did get out of the house for a couple hours when Meghan met me for food and a scotchtoberfest beer.  That was when I took the picture above of the pretty clouds when I was walking by the river.  I also spent some quality time watching the little dogs at the dog park.  I tried to take a picture of this guy but he was moving too fast!!  He was the size of my foot and he was wearing a nice knit sweater.

I wish I could take the detective out on walks.  He's angry though : (

rabbit rabbit rabbit

source

Meghan and my sister both got me today!  My sister had already sent me a text message before I woke up and then i thought surely i could make it to work and post before anybody else got me.  But no such luck.  Hit the ground running at work and when I finally got the chance to take a breath I looked at my phone to find meghans text.

What should I do?  Throw salt over my shoulder or some shit?