what is her problem?

Omg this is beyond amazing.

Definitely NSFW

this sums it up pretty well

Besides the fact that I love her music, this is also why I love Mariah.

I can't believe how dated this video is though!  Britney and Kfed?!  And they are making such a big deal about Mariah's comeback but they haven't even seen the half of it yet.

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Also this:

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fantastic!

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I was not expecting to get so many chills but then it's not really surprising as he is actually an awesome singer.  I like how he sounds a little bit like Cher too.

me all weekend

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I got a new car but I won't get it until Monday.

I work aaaaallllll day today, aaaaaallllll day tomorrow, and aaaaalllllll day Monday.

I am just hoping I can at least pick it up en route to work.

It's going to be a long weekend but I'm trying to keep in mind what Meghan said, "anticipation is the best".

this day keeps getting better and better

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Thank you Jojo for directing me to this article on Perez.

I feel very validated for the mix cds that I've made for Sarah and JAMelle, there are only a couple that I missed.  I do love Endless Love.  Mostly because of this:




The question is, do I buy the cd to have it even though I already have all of those songs on my itunes anyways and could just put together my own bootleg mix of this?

I think we all know what the answer is.

how could I ever leave you?

Of course since I've been looking at new cars the following things have happened.

-Gas station attendant complimented my car.

-Old lady at pump next to me said, "well that's a beautiful little car".  Extra points for her reminding me of my grandmother.

-Two teenage boys pulled up next to me in traffic and were freaking out over my car.  They actually said, "I've never seen one in real life!".

-Two guys at the Cadillac dealership told me they were thinking about stealing my car if I hadn't come back to it.

-And then, the icing on the cake, pulling up next to this guy:

In the most serious and earnest tone I've heard in a long time he said, "I will never buy a different car than this".

I am inclined to agree.

But then...

why is she sitting like this?!

I was hanging out with Heather this morning when I looked over and saw Mia hanging out on the counter like this.

She just sat there for the entire time we were there and even while I was taking her picture.  I love how it looks like her paws are liquid and are spilling over the edge of the counter.

She's weird.

hahaha work every day

Chris and I both enjoy observing how drastically some of our coworkers demeanors change as soon as a customer comes in to the store.  Chris always references this Spongebob clip but I had never seen it.

Thank you for sending it to me and making me watch it.  It is everyone we work with.

And I am definitely Squidward.

Huckleberry Finn *FIXED*

I recently got a new pair of suspenders for these pants from G-star.  I wore them the other day for the first time, feeling pretty snazzy, and went to show them to Skyler for his approval.  While he liked my outfit he commented that I looked like Huckleberry Finn.  It's not what I was going for but I kind of agreed so I took this picture later that night to share with my friends and loved ones:

If anything I felt like I looked like a young newspaper editor, working late on the issue that would surely make his career.  But still, I took this picture and posted it on facebook saying that Skyler thought I looked like Huck Finn.  While most of the comments were positive and approving there were a few JEALOUS HATERS who felt the need to comment on how I wasn't smiling.

Firstly, let me just say, it takes a lot of concentration for me to hold a cell phone steady, get my entire body in the frame, and keep my lazy eye from wandering off moments before the picture is finally taken.  Secondly, it wasn't supposed to be a literal interpretation of Huck Finn.  I wasn't wearing a costume, it was just my work outfit that kind of looked like that.

But I decided to follow Ellen's example and turn my haters in to my motivators.

Is that a happy enough Huckleberry Finn for you?

I actually feel like without the hat and empty bottle of courvoisier I look more like Brendan Fraser from the Mummy than Huckleberry FInn:

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But I'm sure now you're all going to say, "oh excuse me, Breandan Fraser wasn't that happy in the Mummy, your face is bad and you should feel bad". 

Whatever, I can't please everybody, I'll just keep pleasing myself. 

  

car shopping...barely

I know, get rid of my car?  How can I even consider it?!  But it's true, I have been thinking about upgrading the car show to something with a backseat.  It hasn't helped that my car has starting making a shrill high pitched whistling noise.  Elliot said that it was probably that my belt was put on too tight which would make sense as that was the last mechanical thing I had done to my car so while it's not anything wrong with my car it sounds really terrible.  Especially in the parking garage at work, I am so ashamed coming around the corner and having everyone looking to see who's janky car sounds like it's about to explode.

It kind of goes away after it gets warmed up at least but what's weird is that it will randomly make these kind of sing song noises while I'm driving and I literally have to turn down the mariah because I can't tell if it's the music or my car.  It's weirdly always in the same range as her soprano.

So anyways, Heather went car shopping with me yesterday.  I really just wanted to take a look at different things and maybe drive a few, no big deal.  Heather wanted to take pictures of me in all of the different cars so I could post them for everyone to vote on which car I looked the best in.  Unfortunately I only ever ended up test driving one car as NOBODY WANTED TO HELP US AT ANY CAR DEALERSHIP.

Well that's not entirely true, the man at the Toyota dealership pulled up in his golf cart and said, "afternoon ladies, can I help you with anything" at which point Heather doubled over in laughter and I said blankly, "no, thanks" which is when he realized that I was not a lady and said, "ok then, have a good day" and drove away.

Otherwise though it was impossible to get any help at any of the other dealerships we went to except of course the BMW one.  I drove a really fancy SUV that was way out of my price range but it was so cool!!  It had the key where you just keep in your pocket and the car just knows.

Feeling like we at least accomplished some part of our goal for the day we decided that we could go and have lunch.  Heather took me to South Port Raw Bar for lunch which is apparently only for "in the know" ft. lauderdale residents so don't go spreading it around.  As usual, Heather spent much of our lunch taking personal phone calls, so I decided to take pictures of her being rude and ignoring me.

Apparently Heather's friends don't believe that I'm real and many of my coworkers ask me what Heather looks like so I'm at least doing my part to prove I'm not making up friends.

And you can really get a feel for what it's like to hang out with Heather from these pictures.  Namely, she ignores you while she talks to her friends about you as if you're not sitting across the table from her.

If I squint my eyes I can pretend I'm having lunch with Lindsay Lohan.

After lunch we drove through the adjacent neighborhood and ogled all the huge houses and opulent landscaping.  The problem is that afternoon activities like that with the top down are exactly why I don't want to get rid of my car.

We had talked about continuing our car shopping but instead ended up doing this all afternoon:

It enraged Heather that I was better at pool than her but then I kept scratching on the 8 so she would get to victory dance by default.  Then I would call her Minnesota Fats and she would get mad that I was calling her fat.  For your reference Heather:

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But still, he had nothing on our girl Heather.  When she would actually hit the cue ball instead of the 1, she wasn't half bad.

Of course, she only won by default.  Well, we ended up playing a tie breaker final game but neither of us can remember who won that one.  Which means we will have to have a rematch.

As it was though we had already overstayed our welcome.  In fact, I literally just remembered that I got a parking ticket last night for overstaying my meter which I had completely forgotten about.  Both the meter and the subsequent ticket.

I guess this was the start of our slow descent in to madness.  The rest of the evening is a blur for both of us.  We have been piecing together the evening all morning now, which is why I'm kind of amazed that I am still remembering things I forgot like the parking ticket.

Of all the things I forgot though, finding these pictures on my phone were really the highlight of my morning:

I would like to take this opportunity to say that the reason Heather won't take yoga with me is because she refuses to do backbends.  I guess when it's a dance party with the detective she doesn't mind though.

Neither of us remember this dance party at all.  It must have been before we decided to go back out.  Our intention was to walk across the bridge and go to the strip club but of course things got complicated.  Just after we had passed by the gate for the drawbridge they started the lights and bells and whatnot to say that the bridge was going to go up.  Since we had already passed the gate and they hadn't even started to go down yet I decided to just walk briskly to the other side.  Heather decided to stop and begin furiously booty dancing.  Why?  I don't know.

So I ended up having to wait on the other side of the bridge for her.  When we finally reconnected she kept trying to tell me that the bridge attendant was yelling at me for crossing the bridge and I kept trying to explain that he was yelling at her to get off the bridge and stop booty dancing.  It wasn't until this morning that she finally acknowledged that she didn't realize she was past the gate and that he was in fact yelling at her to stop dancing.

After all this we somehow ended up here because Heather desperately needed meatballs.  All I remember is looking down at a half eaten plate of meatballs underneath crazy flashing neon lights and thinking, "where am I, and how did I get here?"

We never ended up at the stip club but it was still an excellent way to spend a tuesday evening.  When we got back home I promptly went to sleep but Heather stayed up until the wee hours of the morning chatting with a handsome man.  I was not surprised.

I had a vision of love

When I pulled up to this Audi at the light his back windows were down but there was no activity in the backseat that I could see.  I had the top down and this was playing:




As soon as she started belting that handsome guys head popped out of the back window with his ears all perked up.  That's the power of Mariah.  It makes me think of this.

Animals get it.

they're really old

I noticed these decorative books at work for the first time last night.  I don't know if we just got them or have had them but it's definitely the first time I ever inspected them closely enough to realize that 1) they have awesome titles & 2) they are actually really old books.

Our Bird Friends was my immediate first choice to poke through.  Upon opening it up I found this written inside the cover:

Wow!  1941!  That's a long time ago.  But wait, given back in 1941?  Let me check the copyright page.

So cool.  It even had the tissue paper before the title page.  It makes me want to go look for old books.

I also appreciated the dedication for Our Bird Friends which I can only assume is about Meghan.

 
Even if it wasn't it will be how I describe her to friends from now on.

The other book I found was not as old but still made me laugh:

It made me think of this episode of Frasier because he tells the teens at some point that it wasn't all that long ago that he occupied those troubled years "'twixt twelve and twenty".  I tried to find a clip or even a copy of the script for this episode so I could confirm my suspicions but there aren't even any memorable quotes online that I could find.  The point is that I know this is the same episode where the girl tells Frasier it would be a great boon to them if he would be on their show and he gets all excited that she used the word boon.  I always thought it was just because it's a great word but when I saw this book I realized that she was probably saying boon as a reference to his 'twixt twelve and twenty comment and his excitement was about her knowing what he was talking about.

If my memory is correct then it's just another reason why that show was so brilliant.  Also, I feel extremely satisfied for having unravelled that joke.

I like this guy

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He's got the right attitude.  Namely, a bad one.

I was not expecting the guest cameo either.

back on track

After weeks away from running due to my old lake lure injury coming back to haunt me I am glad to say I'm finally back to what I was doing before.

It's been a slow recovery but I've hobbled myself out for the past few weeks and am finally feeling like my old self again.

Everything is going as usual...

the Joker on vacation

This was my work outfit yesterday.  Despite everyone's reassurance that I looked fine I couldn't help but feel like this all day:

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You see it right?  It's like the Joker casual. I think I even have a memory of him dressed down in some episode but I can't seem to find anything online right now.  When I did a google search for "animated joker casual" this came up though:

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which is from one of my all time favorite episodes of the old cartoon.  Andrew knows why.  If you aren't familiar you should check it out, it's the christmas special and that picture should give you a good idea of what it's all about.

As for me, I need to focus on my hijinx and hootenanny down here in south florida.  I have big shoes to fill!

worth the shame

Last night I was feeling self destructive but didn't have the energy to go to a bar so I ended up at the drive through instead.  I thought I'd be able to get away with it and nobody would know but then I noticed the car in front of me.  It's too good not to post, Meghan agreed.

I think the standard Florida license plate is number number number, letter letter letter, which means this is a custom plate?  I can't make heads or tails of it but it makes me think of "poo-3-P-O" from some sort of perverted star wars remake.

I guess the good news is that it's not "poo 3P0" which means that's still available for you when you move down Jonathan!

Jonathan did you write this ad?

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I can't imagine it having been anybody else.

I seriously can't stop laughing.

happy birthday kim!

If you've never been you should check out kim's blog, the post that's up right now made me laugh so hard I cried.

Happy Birthday Kim!!  I'm sad I wasn't in NYC to take an awkward picture with you.  Soon though, very soon.

there actually was severe weather

Though yesterday started out beautiful, the dark clouds began to gather as the afternoon wore on.  I thought I had brought everything I would need for a day out of the house but I was not prepared for the weather to turn so quickly.

I ended up back home by like 6 with the intention of changing out of my swimsuit and heading back down south but then the skies opened up.  Within minutes the water on our street was up to my bumper.  I decided to try and wait out the storm with Heather.

Once we opened the wine though, there was really no turning back.  It was so good too!  This was the bottle that Heather brought back for me from Sonoma a few weeks ago.  Hand selected just for me.  I commented that it was totally worth the waking up at 5 in the morning to take her to the airport and then having to stay up until 1 in the morning to pick her up again a week later.  She looked at me with a blank face for a moment and then said, "it was actually for you cleaning up Paris poop all week, I guess I should have brought back two bottles".

It's ok Heather, you shared your white with me when we made the salmon salad so it's all good.  And you let me beat you at scrabble by more than 100 points, you didn't have to be so generous, but thanks!

It's not storming anymore but it is grey and rainy still here in south florida.  A good day for chores, and hopefully and evening of debauchery.  We'll see.

important

The other day I took the cover off my car and decided to let it air out a bit on the couch for the day.  As soon as I threw it on the couch the detective made a bee line for it and proceeded to do all of this.

He was going deeper and deeper, on the trail of a clue no doubt,  but my attempts to take his picture alerted him to my presence.  This, in turn, angered him.

He then pretended to not be interested in it for the rest of the time I was home before work.  I'm sure he resumed rummaging around in there as soon as I left.  The thing I don't understand is that it's not like the car cover is new.  He has had plenty of opportunities to sniff it, but for some reason, it wasn't until this day he realized just how fascinating it is.

I don't care for it.

a great day to celebrate

Happy birthday Elliot!!

My trip this weekend was cancelled because of a severe weather warning.  I even received a notice on my phone last night about it.

I am pleased to report that it is nothing but sunshine and blue skies today.  While I am sad to not be able to make my little road trip I am excited to go hang out by the pool all day and celebrate the birth of my coworker.

This song will be blasting today while I have the top down.

hat's off to riri

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Thank you dlisted for sharing this story with me.

I've always had mixed feelings about rihanna.  I usually really like her songs when I first hear them, then as they are played to death I start to hate them, then like two years later I can listen to them again.  I have never really followed her private life beyond the biggest stories that became mainstream news.

But this, this I like.  I mean, who does this?!  Fantastic.  I don't really care about the fact that she's rolling a joint, it's not the first time she's been photographed with weed, and she definitely seems aware that her picture is being taken.  It's that she's both sitting on her bodyguards shoulders and using his head as a table.  And the look on his face.

How is there any question about rihanna playing whitney in a movie?  If that isn't the poster for a remake of the bodyguard I don't know what is.

a thing of beauty

When we buy things at work we have to get rung up by one of the managers.  For some reason I usually end up buying things when I am working with Sergio and even though I tell him he doesn't have to wrap my stuff he always does.  The hippie in me feels bad about all the wrapping going to waste but then I am really pleased whenever I unwrap my wares at home later.

So the other night I was closing with Elliot and I bought some things.  As I ran my card and did my PIN or whatever he started folding up my clothes.  With an incredulous edge to his voice he asked, "do you want me to wrap these?"

My response was, "well I mean, Sergio always wraps my stuff for me but I understand if you'd rather just dump them in a bag and then spit on them".

The result is the above picture.  Now whenever I buy clothes on Elliot's watch he does the most ridiculously precise wrapping job I have seen in a long time.  It was even more clean and flawless originally, the wrinkles happened during the transport home.

The problem is that I don't even feel like I can unwrap this.  I will probably end up sliding my shirts out and then carefully folding the tissue paper to store somewhere like a hoarder.  I think I'm more in to the wrapping than I am the shirts I bought.

chocolate

Chris and I were talking about spongebob at work the other day and I said this was probably my favorite episode and he didn't know what I was talking about.

I wish the quality were better but all the videos on youtube were whack.  I wanted a longer clip because there are a lot of funny parts in this episode but I couldn't find a decent one.  Patrick holds the chocolate they are selling in his pants and whenever he gets surprised it all falls out of the back like he pooped it all out hahahahaha.

Anyways, this is what my weekend is going to be like coming up.  Bracing myself.

he's helping

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I'm glad I don't have any doorstops like that or the detective would surely do the same thing.

It's kind of nice though.

sage words

Meghan	11:42 AM (14 minutes ago)
to me

Yesterday, at my dentist’s urging, I went to the orthodontist and discovered a Very Important Life Lesson, namely, What the hell are you doing at the orthodontist, do you think you’re made of money???????  The orthodontist, much like a mean girl, has the power to make you feel both poor AND ugly all at once.  I am never going again.

hide yo pets

Let's take a little trip back in time to last November

I heard you like adorable kittens

Omg, I haven't looked at those pictures since I took them.  Mia is so big now!!!!  I forgot how tiny and scrappy she was : ((((( I seriously just got teary eyed looking at those.

But that's not the point of this post.  The point is the poster above and what I like to call, "Heather finds a cat; pt 2".  I wish I could promise that this would not be an ongoing saga but it seems that Heather can't help but find herself with extra cats on her hands.

So the other day Heather calls me in to her apt with a pained expression on her face.  She points out to her patio where I see the handsome guy pictured above.  As soon as I see him Heather starts in with, "he's so nice and the girls love him and he's just out there with no collar and I don't know where he came from and he's so nice and I think you should just take him".

It was all a little too familiar for me.  Except my main excuse for not wanting Mia was that I don't want to deal with a kitten so now I had no excuse for why I couldn't immediately take this adult cat off her porch. Except for the fact that I don't want another large cat in my tiny apt, and this cat wasn't necessarily a stray either.  I offered to take Mia and she could take this mystery cat pointing out that they were basically exactly the same.

Heather didn't agree and said I'd missed my chance with Mia.  She felt there was no way this cat was anything but a stray who's only option was death on the streets or a life with me.  She refused to feed it, lecturing me about how strays won't leave if you feed them.  I pointed out that if the detective had gotten lost and was scared and confused I'd like to think that somebody would at least feed him instead of sitting inside with her two overfed cats just staring out at him on the patio and clucking their tongues.  But again my words fell on deaf ears as Heather exclaimed, "You can name him Spots!".

I told her I had to go to work but suggested she make a sign or something to put up in the neighborhood.  As a compromise I left my blinds up all day while I was at work to see if Spots wanted to make friends with the detective.  I wasn't surprised to find out they did not become friends.  The detective is angry.

I was also not surprised when I got home from work to see a man leaving Heather's apt with Spots cradled in his arm.  Apparently, no sooner had Heather put that sign above the mail boxes did she get a call from none other than her next door neighbor on the other side.  Yes, it was his cat who had merely jumped over the fence dividing their patios.  It definitely wasn't extreme for Heather to think that it was a feral street cat who hadn't had a good meal in years.

The good news is that Spots is at home, Heather made friends with "fence neighbors", and it's still just me and the detective together forever.  Although I will say that looking at those pictures of Mia as a kitten really tugged at my heartstrings.   At least I know it's only a matter of time before Heather steals somebody else's pet and then tries to pawn it off on me.