The sisterhood of the traveling plants

As you may or may not recall I have a special affinity for spider plants.  I got my sister one several years ago when she first moved in to her house as a housewarming present.  When I moved back to NYC she gave me a little baby to take with me that I nurtured in to a my own giant beast of a plant.  Over the course of my time in NYC I gave babies to several different people, explaining to them the history behind them.  When I left to move back down to Florida I gave my spider plant to Dan and started over with a new baby from my sister.  As of maybe 6 months ago it's finally grown big enough to have babies of its own so I took my first cutting and started this little darling.

I brought it to work with me on Friday to give to my favorite customer as a housewarming present.  When I told her the story behind it she said, "It's like the sisterhood of the traveling plants!"

haha yes, Dan and me

GOING OUT from SRSLY. on Vimeo.

The only difference is that Beyonce plays a role in our evenings.  The closest they got was the clapping and shuffling part, which did remind me of trying to do the Single Ladies dance with Dan one Halloween.  We definitely enthusiastically talked about taking the classes in town that taught you the choreography.

And for a moment I miss NYC, but then I remember that I had my windows down on my drive home and there is some sort of flight delaying ice rain going on up there right now.

So Dan, thank you for sending me that video, and I think you need to plan a vacation to Miami.  I can take you to all the coolest places, and by that I of course mean watching music videos on youtube all night long.

she's single!

Saw this on my way out of work.  Initially I read it as Ms. Doom, then thought it was Ms. Boom.  Upon closer inspection I realized it was just an orange leaf that made the d look like a b and that it was in fact, "Ms. Doom".

I like it.  She either was married to Dr. Doom and divorced him, or she's his daughter.  No matter which, she's obviously well connected.  I'm going to keep my eye out for her now whenever I'm at work.

What do you think she looks like?  I asked google and it mysteriously came up with this:

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which, while not really relating, does help me with my new years resolution from last January that I kind of forgot all about.  If you're interested the post is here about how I was making it my resolution to post more about Beyonce.  I feel like I've let everyone down.  I've posted hardly anything Beyonce all year.  What's weird is that I just told Noriko the story of Dan paying the DJ to play nothing but beyonce for my birthday.  Clearly it's a sign for me to make good on my new years resolution while I still have time.

So you can expect a Beyonce heavy next couple of weeks.

I'm doing terribly at my new years resolution

As you may or may not recall I posted here in January about how my new years resolution was to post more about Beyonce.

I apologize to Meghan, to Dan, to the rest of you, but most of all I apologize to myself.  To be honest, I've been wrapped up in Mariah the past few months.  I'm not ashamed of it, but I've also been neglecting some of my old favorites.  Like Beyonce.  I mean, she was my new years resolution, and I've let her down.

So thank you Jonathan, for sending me this video, and reminding me that Beyonce is fucking amazing.

Flaw free.

more comfortable than the 6

When I left NYC on Friday morning Meghan rode the 6 train with me to 51st instead of the usual express to 86th.  Somewhere between Union Square and Grand Central she said, "I wish you could ride the subway with me every morning".

My gut reaction was to reply with, "me too" but I stopped myself.  It only took a quick glance around our train car to remember all the reasons I was glad I didn't have to take the 6 train every day for my commute anymore.

I was going to title this post "better than the 6" but I realized I would get arguments from the subway fanatics (I'm looking at you Dan and Will) who will forever stand behind public transportation.  And it is a marvel, really, especially when everything goes according to plan.

But visiting new york during a heat wave was such a good compromise between "oh I miss this magical fairytale city" and literally walking through piles of steaming hot garbage spread across the sidewalks.  Yes, I wish I could commute with Meghan every day, but do I wish I could go back to riding the 6 every day?

Nah, I'm happy with the benz.  And I don't think anyone will argue that the scenery is definitely better.

rabbit rabbit rabbit

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We made it, we finally made it!  I thought June was never going to end.  I feel like June is a hard month because it determines the rest of your summer.  If you go big in June you can coast the rest of the summer.  Last year it was Lake Lure, this year it was San Francisco.  I'm relieved to have gotten all that out of the way, now I can book my hotel for Meredith's wedding in the fall and then lock myself away for the next three months to save money.

I will only let myself out for pool parties.

Thanks for the invite Stina.  I agree with Sam, it's exactly what you want to be doing in Miami in the summer.  I can go to work today happy with a weekend well done.

Even the detective is happy to have me headed back to work and out of his hair for a few hours.  He would literally rather stare at the wall than spend any amount of time or energy on me.

That's his scratching pad btw.  For some reason he loves to sit on it even though he is clearly too large for it.  Still, he awkwardly balances himself on it and then sits with his face jammed in to the wall for hours.  WHY?!

Oh, and another important question to ask yourselves on this the first day of July;

when did Dan pose for my Barbie calendar?!

Meghan, you can pass that pic along to Andre Leon Talley, I assume he'll be ordering 6.  Three for him and three for Whoopi.

Heather's May/June surprise internet gift

Apparently I was wasted when I took that picture.  I don't even understand how I got it so crooked.  I took like four pictures and they are all equally as wonky.

Anyways, I had been anticipating my trip to Sarasota because I wanted to go to the Tervis store for myself.  It wasn't until shortly before the trip actually happened that I realized I could get Heather an amazing internet gift.  My plan was to peruse the various themes and try to find one that I felt was a perfect fit for her.  I was leaning heavily towards the crab but had others in mind as well.

When I walked in the store, however, I saw the section that I never go in and knew it's where I would find Heather's gift; the licensed sports merchandise section.  I embarrassingly had to call Heather and ask her what her favorite team was to be sure, which is a shame because my gut was telling me it was the Steelers.  I was just too afraid of getting the wrong team and ruining the whole fun of it.

Once I established that she was in fact a die hard Steelers fan it was only a matter of picking out just the right one for her.  With no help from Dan, the scene unfolded a little like this:




Especially the part where we all spoke in Spanish with English subtitles.  The only difference is that I was obviously the blonde nazi woman.

Hopefully I didn't choose poorly, I think Heather liked her gift.  I don't think she has fully grasped the amazingness that is a Tervis Tumbler but she has time.  It only takes a few uses before you're hooked.

It was only supposed to be her May internet gift but thanks to the ridiculous cost of NFL licensing it ended up being her May/June internet gift.  That gives me plenty of time to plan the next one.  I can't believe it won't be until July, it seems so far away and yet right around the corner.

now THIS is luxury

You have no idea, the moment that I realized I could take my coffee with me to work, it was huge.  It was also the moment that I realized Dan was right all along, you do need the lid to go with your tervis tumbler.  I was a fool for doubting you, I apologize here for the record.

I am in love with my new car.  I can't even begin to describe.  As much as I love the roadster it feels so much more appropriate to park this in the mall parking lot.

My sister and I always talk about how so much of our experience with something is dependent on who we work with, especially for big ticket items like this.  I will definitely say that even though Heather and I went to a bunch of places and had a lot of different cars in mind, it was working with Daniel at the Mercedes dealership here that made me feel good about getting this amazing car.

So my new project is to make a playlist featuring songs that reference Mercedes.  Here's what I have so far:

"Got a new Benz the color of bacon bits" Hold Yuh - Nicki Minaj

"Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz" Mercedes Benz - Janis Joplin

"Boom boom baby pick you up in my Mercedes" Selfish - Britney Spears

"Think I wanna drive your Benz, I don't.  If I wanna floss, I got my own" Love Don't Cost A Thing - Jennifer Lopez

"Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-y" Ride Wit Me - Nelly

Any other suggestions would be appreciated.

I was also trying to think if my car was featured in any other pop culture references.  I don't think mine has been specifically because this model is still too new and it's not really all that fancy or anything.  But if you want to let me have some creative license I can say that they drove Mercedes SUVs in Jurrassic Park II:




I imagine if I ever get another cat this is the fate that will befall me when I leave them at home too long together to conspire.  But at least I'll go out in style!

For now I'm holding on to my roadster, hopefully Elliot is going to be able to fix it for me and then I will figure out what I'm going to do with it.  In the meantime I feel a little bit like this.  My favorite part was the description of the Rolls' steering wheel that had melted off.  I also thought it was interesting that the luxury car dealers were hoping that the cars would never get back on the market again.

At least I can comfort myself knowing that I'm not that ridiculous.  But it does seem insane to look at two different keys on my counter.  I told Eliza that I have finally realized my 8 year old dream.  She seemed impressed.

SO COME VISIT PLEASE OK?  THANKS!

for Dan

Dan sent me a very special facebook message that contained this music video.  I had never seen it before which was clearly a mistake.  I'm downloading the music video to my phone now.

I don't know at what point Dan and my love story became intertwined with Beyonce but it seems like in most of my memories the two always go hand in hand.

I told you about how on my birthday Dan paid the dj to play nothing but Beyonce for as long as he could?  I think he played Single Ladies three times in a row.  Ahhh good times.

Anyways, it's funny that Dan would send me this video because I was just thinking that I never do any posts about Beyonce.  Meghan commented that she was shocked I didn't post about Beyonce giving birth.  It really didn't even occur to me.

So I'm making a new years resolution to have more Beyonce coverage.

Enjoy

I've missed this place

From the moment I got to the 6 train platform and saw this terrifying ad I've become quite nostalgic for my life in nyc.

My first order of business was getting 9th St. with Meghan before heading downtown to get my haircut.  The best part about having Christina cut my hair is that I get to hang out with precious angels like dolly while I'm there.

She did not help my wanting a little dog problem.

She did not help at all.

And this other bundle of joy made me miss the detective and reminded me that I should really get a little doggy to be his friend because it clearly makes her VERY happy:

Once Meghan and I finished with all our chores we did the only thing we could think of to warm ourselves.  Jam our faces with delicious pizza.

If I lived as close to motorino as Meghan does I don't think I would eat anything else.

Otherwise our day/night last night was pretty lowkey.  I got to accomplish a long held life goal of getting Meghan and Laura together and it was magical.  I think my favorite was when I reminded Laura of the time some girl threw up on her in the subway and Meghan's face lit up as she exclaimed, "that was you?!"

Unfortunately it was far too cold for any of us to have the energy to pull an all nighter so we eventually parted ways.  It was nice anyways because I got to hang out with Sam a bit when he came home from work and before we all passed out.

I'm not sure what all today will have in store for me but I do know it will include an encounter with the incomparable Dan D.  I can't wait, I think my hair is finally long enough to have achieved his request that he made so long ago.

For now I've got my long johns on and I'm ready to venture to the outside for some coffee.

tyler

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The resemblance is uncanny!

In case you missed the saga of Tyler you can read it in this post but basically he is apparently wanted by the police and they are uncertain of exactly what he looks like.

I mean, we are both white, we both have two eyes, two ears, a mouth, and a nose, but I feel like that's pretty much where the similarities end.

After reading his stats (here) I feel like I could never be as cool as Tyler.  The cops should have realized that right off the bat.  I bet Tyler wouldn't have handed over his i.d. so willingly, he would have shanked them, shanked them good!

When I told Dan that Ariel and Kim had found Tyler the first thing he asked was, "on facebook?".  It hadn't even occurred to me to facebook him but that is my next order of business.

If nothing else I feel like I should warn him that the police are hot on his heels.  And by hot on his heels I mean they were driving around one neighborhood for an entire afternoon stopping people who look nothing like him.

your missing barbie for August

Finally!  I was getting a little tired of all the sweeping ball gowns that seemed to be her tastes for the past few months.  I'm glad to see that she's finally back in something costume worthy.  Of course this would be the costume for Ms. Scarlet.

Speaking of which...




That's for you Dan.

I feel like August Barbie gives me hope for this month, even if she is setting an unrealistic standard for beauty.

so hungry

Upon arriving in nyc I headed straight to the Met, as I usually do.  Meghan walked me past the line to see the McQueen exhibit again but it was far too crowded so we ended up turning around after the cape room.

Meghan then led me through the Greeks and the Romans before dropping me off in the Michael C. Rockefeller wing while she finished her last hour at work.  Even though I hadn't eaten anything all day I decided that I could nourish my soul with art for an hour to tide me over until Meghan and I could go get a bite to eat together.

Cut to 5:30 and I am still waiting at the top of the stairs to the costume institute, pacing back and forth between the open sarcophagus and the prints of hieroglyphs that would have appeared on his tomb.  I was so hungry that when I saw the one above my mouth actually started watering.

I mean that just looks straight up delicious.  What are those, doughnuts at the bottom?  I also like that they are clearly at a bar as you can see the upside down hanging martini glasses lined up at the bottom, as well as the pitchers of...what is that?  Infused vodka?  Sangria?  Either way it looks delicious.

By the time Meghan got out of work we only really had enough time to go downtown so I could watch her and Sam frantically pack for their dream vacation to Hawaii.  So now here I find myself in a nyc with no Meghan and no Dan.  What am I supposed to do with myself all day?

I will definitely be going here at some point to treat myself to lonely dessert for one.  Unless somebody wants to join me?

with 5 miles to spare

I guess I didn't understand that the drive from Sarasota to Ft. Lauderdale is a desolate no mans land.

I am not exaggerating when I say it pretty much looks like this the whole way down:

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So there I was scooting along, talking on the phone with Dan, completely unaware that I had entered alligator alley (that's actually the name of this stretch of road) and that any hope of getting gas was apparently futile until I entered Broward County.

I have mixed feelings about this digital readout of how many miles you have left until you run out of gas.  I probably wouldn't have gotten myself in the position of almost running out of gas in alligator infested swamplands had it not been for the digital readout and my thinking, '50 miles?  That's a long way!' and continuing to drive on the assumption that I would find a gas station when I needed a gas station.  I think if I had just been looking at the gauge that showed I only had a quarter of a tank I would have probably filled up sooner.  On the other hand once I realized that I was potentially going to run out of gas it kind of put my mind at ease to know when it was going to happen.  Just counting down the miles, waiting for the inevitable.

But I guess I did find a gas station when I needed one.  I was curious about what was going to happen when it got to zero, I have a feeling there is a reserve tank.  Oddly when I got down to 10 miles left it disabled my cruise control.  I mean, I was relying on the cruise control to keep my speed steady so I could get the most out of what precious little gas I had left.  Once it was gone those final five miles was like the ultimate test in "steady foot".

I'm here now though, safe and sound.  Just looking through some listings that Rob gave me and waiting for Jon to get in so we can cruise the streets and terrorize this town.

bats & cotton candy clouds

I've been taking a lot of coping walks lately, the area around my father's is not a bad place for it.  I'm getting to that point where I feel like once all these issues in my life get resolved I won't know what to do with myself because I've forgotten what life is like when I don't have Leslie from State Farm on hold on line 1, and Crystal from Enterprise on hold on line 2, with the Jerry behind "Tom and Jerry's body shop" beeping in incessantly.

I feel like it's a lot easier to be irritated in NYC, not so much down here.  Walking on the nature trail it was impossible to be upset when the sky was filled with the fluffiest pink clouds you could ever want to see.  Then when I realized the sky was also full of bats I forgot about all my worries and enjoyed the bizarre scene.  It made me think of Esha, or the Addams Family, WHICH DAN HAD NEVER SEEN!

Morticia: Have you spoken to her parents?
Susan Firkins, Wednesday's Teacher: Well, Wednesday brought in this picture: Calpurnia Addams.
Morticia: Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister.
Susan Firkins, Wednesday's Teacher: Really?
Morticia: Oh, yes. But don't worry. We've told Wednesday college first. 

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I really can't believe Dan had never seen it.  Her dress alone is enough to sell anybody on that movie.  


So here we find ourselves, at the dawn of another day.  I am chomping at the bit for it to be 9:00 so I can start calling all of my new best friends.

missing beau fleuve

It was somewhere between Batavia and Swormsville that I fell in love with Beau Fleuve and it's strangely named areas.

As I gushed Dan would always be quick to point out that it was only beautiful because I was visiting during the month out of the year that it's not cold and overcast, which I understand, but it didn't change my feelings.  Maybe I should just spend every July in beau fleuve.

I could hang out with this nice guy:

who was very nice and only bit me a little bit.

And I'll spend every afternoon playing pool with Dan.  Apparently I need to brush up on my skills anyways since I'm losing to somebody who is barely ever paying attention

ladies and gentlemen, this is niagara falls

Yesterday Dan took me to do the one thing that I've been most excited about regarding my visit to Buffalo; took me to Niagara falls.

I had been here at some point as a child but really don't remember it too well.  I also think I was here at some point in the winter which would have made it a completely different experience.

Yesterday basically could not have been a more beautiful day.  And it was just the right temperature that you didn't mind getting spritzed by the falls.

And oh was there spritzing.  I asked Dan if I really needed to wear the oversized poncho to which he just laughed and said, "well that's up to you I guess".

I thought it was going to be more like splash mountain.  You know, the occasional blast of water but generally controlled.  I guess it's really more like a giant waterfall that is constantly dumping thousands of gallons of water on to the heads of the passerby's at the base.

It really is quite incredible though.  I mean it's just so much water!

Dan's experience with Niagara Falls is not unlike my experience with Fort Sumter in that he had to come here every year in school on field trips so he knows it like the back of his hand.  Of course this made him the best tour guide, leading us to all the hot spots while avoiding the riff raff.

And against my protests he also forced me to take a tour on the boat.

I just really don't like lots of people in a confined space so I was wary of this endeavor, but once we were on the boat and going past the falls I understood why it was very necessary.

When you are looking down from above you are more struck by the height and the feeling of vertigo.  When you are looking up from the bottom you are more overwhelmed by the sheer force of the water pouring over the edge.

I described it as "dramatic" which Dan said was an apt description.

I'm pleased with myself for managing to get some pictures while at the same time neither dropping my phone in the water, nor getting it soaked by the mist.  I'm also just glad that I got any pictures at all since 75% of the ones I took came out like this:

So much mist!

I think I've seen all Buffalo has to offer now, not sure what today holds in store for Dan and me.  I figure Dan will want to go out in search of Ralphie at some point.

Me:  Oh it's happy hour now?  What does that mean?

Ralphie:  It's the time, usually before like 9:00pm when a bar will have drink specials, or two for one deals or something.

Me:  ...Yeah, I know what happy hour is in general, I meant what is it here?

Ralphie:  Oh, well it's going on right now and it means that some drinks are going to be cheaper than others.

So helpful Ralphie.

creepy

when I asked Dan's mom what the story was behind this cardboard child she told me some roundabout story regarding an art class or something.  I didn't really follow.  All I know is every time I see it I get a chill down my spine.

Happy 4th of July

Dan's family had a quintessential 4th of July backyard bbq that you don't even know how jealous you are that you missed.  Unfortunately Dan got me hammered off of watermelon mint martinis and I ended up passing out for the better part of the afternoon.

But I did wake up in time for us to go to see the fireworks!  Dan took me here for some prime viewing:

It's the University of Buffalo, which I commented was beautiful to which Dan quickly replied, "no, no its not".  I think he just has the same feelings about it that I would have about USC or UF, it's only exciting if you're not from the area.

There was no wondering about the excitement level of the fireworks however.  They really were cool, especially since we were sitting fairly close to them.  The depth, the depth!!

Enjoy the blue, it's the most expensive color!

I like this one because it reminds me of the end of Britney's concert when she vanishes in a waterfall of fireworks.  

Even though we sat there longer waiting for the fireworks to start than actually watching them it was a really fun night.  Once we started playing music on our phones, yelling at every passerby, "Justin?  BJ?", and drinking champaign I forgot about the fireworks anyways.  They ended up being a pleasant surprise.

Now I've got to brush me teeth and get ready for some HARDCORE sight seeing.

so many beautiful flowers

I don't understand how Florida, the land of flowers, doesn't hold a candle to Buffalo.  I mean it's like every yard is overflowing with amazing flowers of every color, size, and shape.

Dan has been making me watermelon mint martinis for the past 3 hours so I'm pretty toasted.  I think we need to take a little nappy before figuring out where to go watch fireworks.