I lost my shorts

I came out to my truck after work tonight to find my shorts on the windshield like this.  I guess they fell out and I didn't notice?  I don't know who would have assumed that the pinstripe booty shorts belonged to the pick up truck but I'm glad they did.  I love those shorts.

As for me, I'm looking forward to a day off tomorrow.  I have plans to see the nice dogs, get my bike fixed (I know, don't get me started), go to the beach, and do some much needed laundry and grocery shopping.  Oh it will be a glorious day indeed.

gets me every time

If you've never worked in retail you might not realize that every article of clothing has a name and that we as sales people usually have to learn the names of all of the items.  We've just started getting our new fall/winter merchandise in so I am beginning to familiarize myself with the new items and the new names.

I'm sorry, I still crack up every time I get to Poupee on my list.  I haven't seen it enough to not be shocked each time and re-read it thinking surely my eyes deceive me.  But there it is, staring me straight in the face, poupee.

Apparently "poupee" means "doll" in French which is actually a good description of the item, a pair of very structured black dress shorts.  I'd just say it's maybe a little lost in translation.

she's wasted

There was some kind of foolish sale going on this weekend at work so we were busy but in the strangest way.  Mostly a lot of looky-loos.

I did take advantage of the sale though and bought myself something nice.

It's been so long since I spent this kind of money on something for myself, and I desperately needed some nice shoes.  Jenny made fun of me for taking them off before I walked outside to my car after work.  They're a little too expensive to walk on concrete in.  I'm already scared I'm going to destroy them by wearing them to work every day but they are really comfortable!  That Salvatore makes a fine shoe.

As for me it's back to work I go.  I switched shifts and unwittingly got myself involved in a 6 day in a row work streak.  Today is day four, thanks to my little humpday gift to myself I don't mind planning yet another black outfit.

I looked nice...

We had a visit from corporate today so I got myself dressed up fancy.  Glad I took this picture when I first got in, the outfit doesn't have the same appeal after you've dumped pasta sauce down the front of yourself.

The worst is that I didn't even make it to our visit before I destroyed myself.  Like the girl that I got in to a fistfight with at the Britney Spears concert in Salt Lake City Utah.  The fight happened during the Pussycat Dolls and she was escorted out before Britney even hit the stage.

And just like I'm sure Britney would have supported me standing up to the gay bashing bully in her audience, I bet she would've supported the 'sghetti sauce accents on my nice white button down.

The good news is that buttoning my jacket concealed my little accident and I made it through the visit without causing alarm.  I actually forgot that the last time this woman saw me I looked like this, so she was too focused on my hair to notice anything else.  It's crazy that I'm wearing the exact same suit in both of those pictures.  What a difference a haircut makes.

cat in a hot cramped apartment

It finally stopped raining, just in time for my a/c to break down.  The super is supposed to be coming to fix it today but in the meantime, it's hot.  Real hot.

Heat like this makes me think of Meghan and wish she were here to sweat it out with me.  But alas I only have the detective for company, but neither of us has the energy to interact with each other.  I feel bad for him but I think I am going to have to abandon ship and go somewhere with air conditioning for a while.

I think my brain is melting.

why would today be any different

I was actually fooled by the early morning sun in to thinking that today the rainclouds were finally going to go away.

I was wrong.

At least I got to meet the new greyhounds today.  I like all of them, especially Sergeant  and Sapper.  They both just walked right over to me and leaned against my legs.  No sniffing, no nothing, just, "give me pets please".

I like Cadence but as the only girl she's definitely a DIVA.  Her fur is also ridiculously soft and her eyes are like gentle deer eyes.  So basically I'm jealous of her and we could never be real friends, but I think we'll have a nice frenemy situation going on.

My time with Hero X was cut short because of an errand that needed to be run but I like him too.  He makes funny faces and barely payed any attention to me.

I was too focused on the meet and greet so I didn't take any pictures, but I did take one on  the way out of one of my favorite boarders at Daniel's place:

I love that Daniel has pictures all over the lobby of all his boarders, especially now that I'm getting to know them.  Gucci is so funny, I love him.  : (

I wish I could have stayed and played with the doggies a little longer but Daniel needed my assistance with his errand.  It's good I did too, otherwise I would have never seen this:

I rarely covet something as much as I covet this file.  And he leaves it so nonchalantly on his dashboard.  I had half a mind to smash his window and swipe, what could only be, the pandora's box of manilla folders.

I let the opportunity go this time but now that I know it's out there the "answers" folder is going to be my white whale.

I came home from my doggy adventure with the intention of getting some things done.  Instead I started petting the detective and ended up falling asleep on the couch all afternoon.

So all in all it was a day well spent.

just another commuter

I happened to glance at the car next to me at the stoplight this morning and I'm glad I did.

Initially he was staring right at me, willing me to challenge him.  Once he realized I was taking pictures he lost interest and eventually went away.

I love him, he's goin' places.

escalator realness

It's funny how crazy everyone goes over the bow tie.  I had an older lady beeline right for me, and end up buying a sweater that she kept saying, "I don't even need this!"

I think it was the bow tie.  Everyone just gives me the benefit of the doubt when I wear a bow tie.  If only they knew what a fool stands behind that piece of silk.

why are they all wearing the same thing?!

I got in line at Starbucks on my break behind this group of girls.  It was so bizarre!

They were attracting attention from pretty much everyone around.  They didn't seem to notice that I was taking pictures.  

When I showed the pictures to Jenny she said, "maybe they're in a dance troupe." 

I don't see why not.  

Jon said his favorite was the tall one with the ponytail, that, "she looks like THE QUEEN B".  

After trying my best to get these photos I was really tempted to just ask them if I could take a picture of them all in a row, but I was scared the matching floor length skirts and belly shirts were coincidental and I'd have to explain why I wanted a picture.  

So you'll just have to be happy with those.  Just realize how many girls there are actually are.  SO MANY.  

Laura's nails

Hahaha omg I love them so much!!!

It makes me think of Will and Grace when Karen tells her manicurist, "not ovals, I want them pointy!  Like claws!"

My favorite was when Laura was snapping her fingers and then goes, "ouch, these are really pointy!"

Anything to pass the time during these slow Boca days.  And when the customers aren't around the associates start getting testy.  Since I made somebody cry yesterday I was trying to be on my best behavior today but there were moments.  Oh were there moments.

Just gotta get through the next few months and then hopefully things will improve all around.

this never gets old

The funny thing is that Jon has been ignoring my text messages all day and yet continuing to play mini-golf games against me.  Playing, and losing, I might add.

It's been so long since I've seen him.  Getting to beat him at mini-golf is the best I can get.  Maybe, just maybe he will come down next weekend.  I am willing to offer a game of real life mini-golf as incentive.

Can you beat me on the real court?

haha ME

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Seeing this on reddit reminded me of 9th grade when Ms. Hamilton rearranged the seating so there was an empty desk between me and everybody else in the class.

SO RUDE.

The worst is that it continues to this day.  I'm always getting in trouble for people talking to me at work, coworkers and customers alike.  The worst is the old ladies who just want to talk and talk to me and I smile and say, "uh huh" all the while glancing over their shoulders to see Gala glaring at me and making a 'wrap it up' hand motion.

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fight or flight while I got dressed

I'm having a hard time getting dressed this morning, I've steamed and put on two different shirts before deciding I didn't like them.  By round three I was scanning my closet a little more closely, looking for some hidden gem that I hadn't worn in a long time.  That's when I spotted him and got so scared.

I even left and came back with my phone to take pictures and he remained in the same position he had been in for who knows how long.  Frozen, eyes wide with bloodlust, focused off in to the distance.

Terrifying.  I seriously thought he was some otherworldly shadow beast.  And what's even more disturbing is knowing that he had been watching me like this while I continued about my dressing none the wiser.  I feel so violated.

Looking at that picture now though I seriously laughed until I got teary eyed.  WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT?!

she's so cute!!

I can't with that song, about halfway through I wanted to mute it and just put on "Sometimes", but whatever.  She looks great and it's crazy to see her kids and hear them talk.  It seems like just yesterday she was doing Chaotic.  

Thanks Dlisted for sharing this video with me.  And I agree, I think it's about orgasms.

a friend I made

He was just hanging out at the grocery store, saying hi to everyone who passed by.

Oh the pets I would have given him if I could have.

SORRY

I know I haven't posted in days and days.  I kind of got some resolution to part of my life problems and apparently once the weight was lifted I needed to sleep for like 5 days straight.  There was more than one day where I literally woke up for work, came home and went right back to bed.  

It hasn't helped that it continues to rain all day every day.  And really, Hurricane Chantal?  Why do I feel like that's a name that's been thrown around on more than one episode of Designing Women?

I have been enjoying my new short Sundays though, and I actually managed to catch a break in the rain to go for a run.

And I have the whole day to myself today.

God bless America

Happy 4th of July!!!!

I'm a little bit disappointed to be going to work all day today but I'll be getting time and a half and I definitely need everything I can get these days.

So while you all enjoy your holiday I will humbly submit some suggestions for your playlist:




and also this:




As usual I love the reactions from the audience after the whistle note.

Of course, this:



And for good measure, you might as well watch this again:

Paris is nice

As has been the custom the past few days Paris no longer greets me at the door.  I'm guessing she was tired of being let down by me not being Heather.  Now it's just Mia, but at least now I know where to find Paris.

In her quiet corner.

"You can hold my Balenciaga"

That was the last thing she said before we departed on Nori's wild ride.  She actually did fairly well, only stalling out once as the first placeholder at a left turn light.  Oh there was honking and shouting, but she's too adorable for anybody to stay mad at for long.

So many thanks to Nori for assisting me on my horrible life chore today.  For the first time in a month I felt the knot in my stomach undo a little bit after I got home tonight.

There's still the matter of what's to be done with the sunken Benz, but at least I know that I won't be getting in to any more trouble with lady law.

So I go back to work tomorrow with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  Look out Boca Raton!

rabbit rabbit rabbit

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July, wow, already.  My personal goal for this month is to not get in trouble.  Not even once!

I'm glad I have the incentive of my new job to motivate me too.  I got my first new paycheck on friday and it was pretty nice.  We also did good business last week and ended up making our sales goal for the month of June, even though we were only really open for like a week.

So even though I have to work July 4th I'll be making time and a half and, again, keeping out of trouble.

I even have a good inspirational fat cat for the month.  Not so much the caption, as usual, but the cat himself.

He seems optimistic, looking to the future.  I like him.