I just got this

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And it's just like honey,
when your love comes over me


Pretty straightforward.

So how is it that it wasn't until I was driving to work this morning listening to this song and thinking about the music video that I got the joke.  She's surrounded by seamen.  It's all so obvious now.

Like an onion, you just keep peeling away the layers.

cause this is comfortable

He's like, "oh it's time for me to work on my blog now"

As I mentioned the other day, ever since I allowed him in my lap ONCE he has been obsessed with being all over me and my computer area.  And as you can see he has absolutely no tact or sense of personal space.  He literally just sits wherever he wants to sit and then slowly pushes everything out of his way until he has room.

He's not even all the way on the counter!  His body was like tensed so that he could hold himself like that.  WHY?!

And yes, I was listening to Shania Twain's greatest hits.  Are you surprised?

He's not.

Just angry.  Very very angry.

I found some old pictures of us

We have some vintage magazines at work and while I was perusing one today I came across this picture of me with Kim and Ariel at a spring festival in Sweden from some point in the last century.

Or maybe they wer just using black and white film and this is a picture from any point in the past 8 years. Who can tell.

There was even a picture of Nathanael from the same festival!  

It really brings back memories doesn't it guys?

proof

I got in to it with a guy today about Mariah and he tried to make an argument about live performances.

I went to watch this video when I got home to cleanse my palate from his horribleness.  After it was over youtube suggested I watch the video posted above.

Consistency, flawlessness, perfection .  Case closed.

memorial weekend pool party

I was planning on going to the beach yesterday but when Heather mentioned a pool party I realized it was the perfect opportunity to wear my U.S.A. tank top.  What I never could have imagined was the whirlwind afternoon that was in store for me.

Heather's friends Rocky and Laurie live in this cool building, pictured above, thats in downtown Ft. Lauderdale.  Besides a handful of people who came from Miami (yes, that's right work friends, there are people who will come all the way up to Ft. Lauderdale from Miami) it seemed like most of the people hanging out by the pool were other residents of the building.  It was so fun, there's a part of me that would love to live in a building like this.

Then again, if I ever got as wasted as Heather I don't know that I would want all of my neighbors to see at once.  I'm not saying Heather was terrible but during the 15 minutes that I left her alone to go upstairs with our new bff Rebecca to get towels this happened:

I still haven't gotten a clear explanation from Heather about this picture.

And little did she know that while she was playing colander boxing with Ali I was upstairs meeting this nice nice lady:

She was so excited and all wiggles and just wanted you to put your face near hers.

: (

A torrential afternoon downpour kind changed the dynamic of the party so Heather and I decided to head home to shower and change.  Heather lured Rebecca over to our neighborhood with the promise of meatballs.  I knew where her mind was and I knew I  wasn't interested in a repeat of this evening so I let them have special girl time.

But thanks to my early night I am up and ready to go today for what is truly, Memorial Day.  So lets go to the beach-each, eh?

they hurt you every time

The other night I was drunkenly reading reddit when I came across this article, which really is fascinating.  At the time, however, all I could think of was this song.  I think it's best to have it playing in the background while you read the article.

I also really like the top comment on this youtube video:

Mariah is the true queen of music. Is she wasn't why does she have more number 1's than all of them? Why has she sold 200 million albums? Why can she sell out stadiums without dancing but just singing. Thats a true artist.

TheSamuelkStuff in reply to Shawty1994TO (Show the comment) 8 months ago 39 

I don't have an answer to your questions other than, you are correct sir.  I applaud your passion.  I also have a feeling this might be Jonathan hiding behind a random screen name.

Anyways, I'm sorry for not giving credit to the source of that article about the mice utopia.  In my falling asleep drunken state I only had the foresight to email the article to myself, but not to include the citation.

Please don't sue me internets.

a bad bad boy

He's the missing decoration that my coffee table needed!  Of course, why didn't I think of that?!

Wedged in between my spider plant and my light coffee table reading (the complete unabridged works of Shakespeare).

Part of the reason I went to the beach yesterday was to try and get some peace and quiet from this guy.  He's just been consistently bad for the past several days.  Especially all through the night.

He knows I'm talking about him.  He's angry!

Actually, he's not even really angry, he just wants constant attention.  I have my computer set up on my kitchen counter as it's the only place that makes any sense to have it.  I sit on a bar stool kind of chair whenever I work at my computer, which means that I'm high up and out of reach of the detective.  At some point a few months ago he started with this new thing to get attention from me when I've spent too much time on the computer.  He stretches up and puts his front paws on my leg, which is super adorable at first.  Then he digs his claws in to my thigh, until he pierces through the fabric of my shorts, at which point it stops being adorable and starts being horribly painful.  There are tiny pinprick holes in my pink shorts that I still haven't been able to work out.

Anyways, this is the solution that we've come up with for now.

Cause it's so comfortable for both of us.  And yet he won't leave and just purrs and purrs.  Even now as I type this he is resting his head on my forearm and hitting me in the face with his tail.

We love each other.

happy memorial day weekend!

I have to work all day today and presumably all day tomorrow and monday as well.  I felt it was important to fight my hangover and make it to the beach yesterday.

You couldn't have asked for a better day for the beach too.  There were plenty of people but it wasn't crazy crowded, the temperatures were all working.  It was very nice.

Apologies for no post yesterday, I was rushed out of the apt by my super and then by the time I got back from the beach I only had the energy to shower and make a sandwich before passing out.

Maybe I'll get lucky and have tomorrow off so I can make a return visit.

a dime a dozen

When I told Heather that I saw the Bieber's car she was not impressed.  I thought they were supposed to be super rare but she claims she sees them on the daily here in Ft. Lauderdale.  I'm inclined to agree, I see so many Ferrari's that they've begun to blend in with the Camrys, but this is the first Karma I've seen.

I like it in white, it's more subtle.  I almost didn't realize what it was, I'd been sitting here for a while before I took the picture.  I definitely prefer the white to his.

The interior looks crazy from the pictures online.  I want to meet somebody who has one of these so I can go for a ride.  According to Heather it shouldn't be hard, but deep down I have a feeling that Heather keeps seeing a Prius and thinking it's a Fisker Karma.

after work dream date

When I found out that I worked all morning with Sergio I was delighted.  When I found out that Carlos was meeting me after work I was pleased.

When I convinced Sergio to hang out with me and Carlos after work it was like heaven.  There's something about the combination of Sergio and Carlos, it's like peanut butter and jelly.  Like the Captain and Tennille.  Like gin and juice.

The point is that I had fun, I think they did too.  And while Sergio was impressed with the benz, I was still impressed when I dropped him off at his car.  He starts his car and it sets off the alarms of cars around it.  It sounds like a jet engine or something.

Anyways, thanks guys, I miss the good old days of us working together.

vegetable dumplings

It was a glorious wednesday in south florida.  While I would have rather been able to hang out with him more I was still glad to be able to visit Joel at his work.  Especially because it involved dumplings.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been SOMEBODY in the seat across from me.

best song title ever

Once upon a time I opened a juice bar on the lower east side with a friend and almost from day one our most regular and best customer was the lead singer of the Crash Test Dummies.

When asked if he was working on anything new he would always respond with, "I'm really in to Gregorian chanting right now"

But are you working on anything new?

I heard it was raining in nyc

So I just had to go to the beach!

Actually it's been terrible weather down here for the past few days as well so when I woke up yesterday to a day off and not a cloud in the sky I knew what I had to do.

This was the first time going to the beach here by myself too.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, even without a book to read.  Not that Meghan didn't suggest some good ones, but I am just too broke to be investing in books right now.  And yes, I am aware of the library, I just choose not to patronize it.

I'm hopefully going out of town to a couple different places in the coming weeks so it's important that I get as tan and blond as possible before that happens.  I love being in the city and having people ask, "why are you so tan?!"

Because I escaped the terrible city of no sun.  It's quite nice really.

do want

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I don't know why this was on reddit in wtf, it's clearly awesome.

I like the birthday cake with the butterfly on top!

Just in case anybody wanted to get me something.  I also really like the purple cabbage.

I don't know what to do

Ever since I saw that gif of the nice fluffy white kitty chasing the wrinkles in the sheets I haven't stopped thinking about getting a friend for the detective.  I always had it in my mind that if the detective were to get a friend it would have to happen naturally, as it did with him.

However, I really like the idea of having an all white cat.  I was at starbucks this morning when I saw this ad for Cupcake.  He's nice, and I feel like I already foretold him coming in to my life:

detective cupcakes

But then there's also this guy:

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I love him and his silly little cone.  : (

Ugh, then I look at the detective and how peaceful he is and happy being king of the castle and wonder if I would just be upsetting the balance of things by bringing in a strange new cat.  I don't know.

I just don't know.

Ugh.

aww so nice

When I gave my neighbor her bouquet I told her how much I had been enjoying them.  We got to talking about flowers for a while, she's a new york girl so she understood the whole bodega thing.  It was really nice, then I'm sitting at my computer and I see her walking up to my door with this adorable bud vase.

She said she had just gotten these for herself but since she has a nice big bouquet now she figured I could enjoy them.  : (

They are so pretty and they smell so nice!

Thank you Bernadette!!

beautiful flowers for the day

One of my neighbors got flowers today but she wasn't home to accept them.  The guy asked if I would mind keeping them until she gets home, which I don't.

It makes me miss nyc though, I don't ever buy flowers for myself down here.  I find it impossible to walk past a bodega with all their amazing flowers on display and not get something.  There were definitely times when I spent my last 5 dollars on lilacs instead of food, but it was always worth it.

These flowers are beautiful, I'm glad I get to enjoy them all day today while they are at their freshest, then turn them over for the annoying maintenance phase of flower ownership.

My sister gave me a spider plant while I was up in Sarasota last week so at least I still have some new greenery to tend to.  For some reason the detective has decided to chomp on it any time he gets the chance  so it's looking a little rough right now.  Hopefully it will just be like a haircut and it will make it grow even more now.  Hopefully.

Speaking of the detective, last night I confirmed that he must have some kind of learning disability.  I had spent the past two days cleaning my apt and decided to light some candles to celebrate it being clean.  I had also amassed quite a collection of half burnt tea lights from various places and wanted to burn them to the end so I could throw them away.  I had several tea lights lined up on my windowsill, where the detective likes to sit when he's on neighborhood watch.

So I'm standing looking out the window when he jumps up on the sill and walks directly over to the candles.  He stops with his paws amongst the candles and his body directly above them.  I am literally watching the hair on his legs start to singe and smoke as he literally is just standing there.  Worried about him catching fire and then running on a rampage around the apt lighting other things on fire, I go to try and brush his legs where his hair is literally catching fire.  He apparently thought I was giving him pets so he promptly sits down, on a lit tea light.

It must have finally burned him bad enough that he figured out what was going on because he got right up and ran in to the closet meowing in anger.  I had to air out the apt from the smell of burnt hair.  And I don't even understand, do you really have to learn about fire?  I thought it was like a primal kind of thing. And besides, that is not the first time he's ever been around fire either.  Which is why I am convinced that he is learning disabled.

It's no wonder he couldn't hack it on the mean streets of manhattan.

comfortable familiarity

I had to get the roadster back from Elliot yesterday so I could take it to the shop to fix the scars that Norland left on it.

Having taken two weeks off from driving it I had forgotten how fun it is.  It's like a rocket ship!  Heather was nice enough to take me down to Aventura to get it and then she followed me back up to Ft. Lauderdale.  It was really fun anytime we were at a stoplight together, particularly when it turned green and I saw he getting smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror : p

Sadly I had to turn it over today so I will not be driving it again for who knows how long.  He said they might have to order a new door from Germany.  UNfortunately they won't be replacing the lock, which means I will have a new door with a still busted lock.

I think when I get the roadster back from this adventure, and once I've recouped my losses from buying the benzo, I am just going to get it tricked out.  I have always thought about racing stripes, I think it would be fun to do the paint job from the toy versions.

Matchbox:

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or Hot Wheels:

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I like them both, Elliot said I would look like a tool if I got "roadster" on the door panel like that but I think if people knew it was from the toy they would appreciate it.  But I also like the subtle M logo on the door panel of the Matchbox one too, I just don't know how it would look on black.  Perhaps I should get a glittery silver paint job all around...

So many options.

two peas in a pod

Heather and I were talking outside our apts when she got home from work.  Mia must have heard us because it didn't take long for her to shove her face through the blinds.  I don't think either of us had seen her crawl all the way through though.  She's so nice.

Of course Heather loves to torment her from beyond the glass.

Judging by the look on Mia's face she is not accustomed to Heather making loving gestures towards her.

And yet still she just wants pets.  She just wants love, why must you tease her so?

Haha, awww, they love each other.

This was towards the end when we just felt bad for torturing her for so long.  Heather went in to her apt to, I assume, cuddle with Mia.  I, on the other hand, returned to this:

"Oh, nobody ever wants to play with me"

Though he remained like this even after I walked through the door, he didn't put up with the picture taking for too long.

: (

He's such a handsome guy.

Just lookin' around, keepin' an eye on things.  That's what a good detective does, always vigilant.

You'd never believe the things those eyes have seen.

this actually helped a lot

After reading about my morning of anger Meghan sent me this picture of her friends cats, "to assuage my rage".

: (

This makes me want to get a nice fluffy kitty friend for the detective to be best friends with.

me today

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To be honest I'm scared to leave the house today, which is what led me to google searching for images of Sigourney Weaver in Copycat; my favorite agoraphobia based thriller.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, thanks to my upstairs neighbor.  He has a history of sounding like he's either moving furniture or getting shaken down by the mob during the tender moments just before daybreak.  I know what it's like to live in the upstairs unit and have crazy people downstairs complain about noises you don't think you're making, so I usually try to avoid saying anything about it to him.  This morning I decided to go to starbucks to avoid the issue, thinking he would be gone by the time I got back.

On my way to starbucks I got cut off by a guy who didn't realize I was going slow because the car in front of me was turning right.  No sooner did he cut me off then he had to swerve back in to the middle lane, then I watched as he pulled in to starbucks.

I couldn't resist the urge and ended up commenting on his driving, and oh did we get in to it.  The people of starbucks were quietly chuckling at our exchange.  I just don't understand people who shit where they sleep.  I drive like an asshole too sometimes but not when I'm about to pull in to a starbucks where I could potentially get confronted by somebody that I just cut off moments before.

Of course I get back to the apt just as my upstairs neighbor is leaving his place.  I was still raging from starbucks and couldn't hold back with him.  At one point Heather, having heard my voice, opened her door with a smile on her face that quickly changed to a look of terror when she saw my hulk rage.  I think I glared at her once before she quietly closed the door and retreated to safety.

After having my coffee, working out, and taking a shower I was starting to feel more like myself, which meant I was starting to have remorse for my morning rampage.  No sooner had I told Heather that I felt bad for yelling at the upstairs neighbor when who should pull in but the man himself.  I intended to try and smooth things over, the conversation went something like this:

Me:  Hey I'm sorry for raging at you this morning.

Him:  No man, I would too, it sucks.  I don't know what it could be that makes so much noise, it must be either my ironing board or maybe the drawers of my armoir when I pull them out.

Me:  Is your armoir just sitting on the floor?

Him:  Yeah, as opposed to what?

Me:  Well I mean is it on a rug or is it sitting directly on the tile?

Him:  It's directly on the tile, there's nothing I can do about that.

(ummmmm, you could put it on a rug)

Him:  How are you still here?  Do you ever work?

(...yes...at night...which is why it sucks to get woken up at 7 every morning...)

Me:  Yes, actually I'm on my way now.

At which point I went in to my apt before the rage bubbled to the surface again.  Which brings me to the point of all this, I am scared to go to work tonight.  I feel like something is going to happen on my drive to work, or I am going to get in to it with a customer some how.  Something's going down today and I'm scared.

Wish me luck.

it was all worth it

It's just hit after hit on this channel.  Shania?  Yes please.  Cypress Hill?  You bet.  Mambo No. 5?  You can leave that on repeat thanks.

The Sirius phone technician I was connected with wasn't exactly the most helpful ever and I don't think he activated my navigation program so I will have to call back but otherwise I am pleased to have signed up for my free trial.

I mostly did it for Sarah, who in fact jammed out to every song while we were hanging out.  The only problem is that I have to go to the top floor of the garage to pick up the satellite service, as opposed to playing a mariah cd which can be done anywhere.

Speaking of mariah, I don't understand how they can have an entire station for Elvis, Sinatra, and Willie Nelson but they don't make a Mariah one.  Not even that, I have yet to hear a mariah song on the 90s on 9 station.  It just doesn't make any sense, she had a #1 single every year of the 1990's, where is the representation Sirius?

Who do you write to for requests?

can't stop watching

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It's his precious little face.  So frantic haha.

: (

Heather's May/June surprise internet gift

Apparently I was wasted when I took that picture.  I don't even understand how I got it so crooked.  I took like four pictures and they are all equally as wonky.

Anyways, I had been anticipating my trip to Sarasota because I wanted to go to the Tervis store for myself.  It wasn't until shortly before the trip actually happened that I realized I could get Heather an amazing internet gift.  My plan was to peruse the various themes and try to find one that I felt was a perfect fit for her.  I was leaning heavily towards the crab but had others in mind as well.

When I walked in the store, however, I saw the section that I never go in and knew it's where I would find Heather's gift; the licensed sports merchandise section.  I embarrassingly had to call Heather and ask her what her favorite team was to be sure, which is a shame because my gut was telling me it was the Steelers.  I was just too afraid of getting the wrong team and ruining the whole fun of it.

Once I established that she was in fact a die hard Steelers fan it was only a matter of picking out just the right one for her.  With no help from Dan, the scene unfolded a little like this:




Especially the part where we all spoke in Spanish with English subtitles.  The only difference is that I was obviously the blonde nazi woman.

Hopefully I didn't choose poorly, I think Heather liked her gift.  I don't think she has fully grasped the amazingness that is a Tervis Tumbler but she has time.  It only takes a few uses before you're hooked.

It was only supposed to be her May internet gift but thanks to the ridiculous cost of NFL licensing it ended up being her May/June internet gift.  That gives me plenty of time to plan the next one.  I can't believe it won't be until July, it seems so far away and yet right around the corner.

I love when this happens

I always see the look of fear in people's eyes when I tell them I have a blog.  The fear that comes with knowing that they may look at my blog and hate it and then have to come up with something to say about how they don't hate it.

It must be even more nerve wracking to put yourself out there like this, so I was really pleased to find that I LOVE THIS.

Thank you for linking me to your stuff George, I really like it all.

weekend cuddle buddy

I had to leave yesterday before my sister actually got back from her trip so I tried to stay as long as I could with this handsome guy so he wouldn't be alone too long.

I think I was more upset about leaving him than he was though.  He's so nice and happy.

The entire weekend he wanted to be near me no matter what I was doing.  Anytime I was on the couch or in bed he insisted on joining me.  When I would set him down on the bed he would go right to the exact center and just fall over on to his side.

: (

He never made a mess or did anything bad either.  He's a precious precious angel.