its his now

I was leaving for work yesterday just as he was getting all snuggled up on his new favorite piece of furniture.

I like when he sits like that, all tucked in like a little bean.

I also like that he's only scratched at the sofa once while I was here.  We had some serious words and he hasn't touched it since.  Well...again, I have to say, while I was here.

Heather came over yesterday to see my couch for the first time and I had my front door open while we were talking.  I guess because I always come home at night I hadn't ever noticed the sets of five lines all over the side of the couch.  As if somebody had stretched out their five precious claws and then just dragged them down the length of the couch.

Now I know he hasn't done this while I've been home because I've been on edge ever since I got the couch.  Any time I hear a sound that's remotely similar to nails on fabric I sit straight up in bed, frantic, drenched in sweat, terror in my eyes and murder on my mind.  But it's never him scratching the sofa, which means he must be doing this when I'm not at home.

Why is he so bad?

More importantly, how can I keep him from doing this when I'm not at home?

He's like, "you don't know me, you don't know what I do when you're not here."

Awww how can I stay mad at that face?  : (