It was actually the first time I've ever gone by myself, which was kind of weird. The first time I ever went to the free clinic in chelsea it was when I was still in college and I went with Brooke. I remember being so nervous and scared the whole time. When they took me in to the little room and told me that I was HIV negative it was like suddenly this huge weight was lifted off of me. Not that it was the first time I'd ever been tested, but it was the first time I'd ever gone to the free clinic, which was somehow scarier.
The last time I went was in January with Katy. This time I was way more calm and collected for some reason. Maybe because I was older, or maybe just because I had no reason to think that I had anything as I hadn't gotten any action in forever. I remember sitting in that same waiting room upstairs and watching the PSA videos they had on repeat and making fun of them with Katy. I seem to remember something about animated condoms. But it was all fun and games until the period after we had our blood taken and before we got the results. Suddenly things weren't so funny anymore and Katy and I just sat in silence staring forward. When they called my number each step towards the room brought back more and more of those old feelings. This was going to be the walk that would change my life. I was entering the room unaware of the disease I was harboring, I would be leaving it knowing that I was HIV positive.
Of course I tested negative and everything was fine. Katy and I ended up getting brunch and having a fine day.
Going there today was like no big thing. I had a moment of trepidation as I walked up the path to that looming brick building on 9th Ave, but thanks to a clerical error my trip to the free clinic ended up being a whirlwind of activity.
The first thing you do when you get there is take a card with a number to fill out. They call you by your number for the whole time you are there. So I'm sitting waiting for my number to be called so I can go in to the room and give the woman my actual information to be paired up with my number, and she totally skips it. I figured there must have been a reason why she skipped my number so I just sat quietly and waited while person after person got taken in. Then randomly this woman calls my number and I go back to her office. She looks at my things and says, "you didn't go through intake" and I was like, "i know, you are the first person to call my number" and she goes, "no that's not true, see somebody put their initials by your number on this sheet, meaning they already talked to you, where's your paperwork?" to which I replied, "i don't have paperwork because you are the first person to talk to me"
We continue with this circular logic for a while, at one point they even accused me of having come in yesterday, taken a card, filled it out, then left and returned today to try to dupe them. Why anybody would do this, i don't know, but they accused me of it. Finally they aknowledged that they made a mistake and got me back in the system, unfortunately I was now like 10 numbers behind everyone else so they kept overlooking me when they would go to call the next number and I had to keep reminding them that I was still there. Finally they got me taken care of downstairs and sent me up to the 2nd floor for my bloodwork etc.
When I got upstairs there was a nurse standing there who directed me to put my folders in this one window. I tried to tell her that they skipped my number and ask if they would make sure not to lose track of my file now that i was upstairs with different people and she said something to the effect of, "Just put your things in the window, it doesn't matter, the longer you stand there running your mouth the longer it will take to get to you".
I said, "umm ok" and went to sit down. So like 10 minutes later they call me to go in to this one room and there standing in the doorway is that same nurse. She says, "you don't have to look so upset, you'll be fine, why do you look so angry?" to which I replied, "Well they skipped me downstairs, I've been here for an hour and a half already, and when I tried to ask you a question you yelled at me and said i was 'running my mouth'"
Oh my god, she could not have been more apologetic and nice. She told me that this morning on the subway some man was rubbing up against her and she "knows she's got a lot going on upstairs but that doesn't mean it's up for grabs". She said she knew she was going to be late and she was so upset that she decided she needed to treat herself to a McGriddle, and that she was so sorry for taking out her bad morning on me.
She then for the entire rest of the time I was there, treated me like I was VIP at the free clinic. She would find me a special place to sit, away from the riff-raff, near her where she could talk to me about her son and how she loves him even though sometimes he annoys her when she's trying to watch her TMZ tv. We talked about Lindsay and wether or not she would go back to jail (she did by the way). Her definitive comment on Lindsay was, "I used to feel bad for her but then I stopped and I was like, 'put those tears back in your face' because why should i feel bad for her? She's rich! I'm poor! I aint feeling bad for her anymore"
We discussed which celebrities we'd want to be friends with, she said either Paris or Kim Kardasian, and even though she disagreed, respected my choice of Britney Spears. She also told me all about how she was up all night looking through her basement for an old copy of a Run DMC cd that she had that she knew was down there somewhere but she just couldn't find it.
Anyways, that's why my trip this morning ended up being totally painless and I never experienced any of the fear that I had in the past. I literally didn't even have time to stop and think because every time I was done with one doctor she would personally make sure that somebody who was free would drop whatever they were doing and see me immediately. I didn't even realize that I was going to get my HIV results until the guy was like, "So you tested negative" and I said, "thank you!" because i didn't even realize what was going on. Like he gifted me with no HIV.
Ended up getting a couple shots besides having my blood drawn from my forearm and my fingertip. I feel like a pin cushion! It's crazy how draining a trip like that to the doctors can be. I ran a couple other errands, came home, made food, and passed out. I only just got up basically to do this post and then I'm going back to bed.
Friday well spent.
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