really? seriously?

I actually went to turn in to the spot thinking it was empty.

I don't even really understand this.  It's not like it's sitting right next to a handicap spot because a person went right from the cart to their car.  So they drove this from home and then decided to walk through the actual store?

Oh Florida.

the foolmobile

Let me preface all of this by saying that I seriously have not stopped smiling in the past three days since I first hatched my plan.

The last time Sarah and I worked together I got in before her.  When she arrived she said she parked next to me, then added, "I parked so close that you can't even get out of your car since you always park so obnoxiously far to the side of your spot".

As annoyed as I was I was also pleased that she was instigating such warfare with me.  You can imagine my disappointment when I got out to my car to find Sarah parked normally next to me.  I called her out on her lies but still decided she needed to be punished for even thinking that she could get away with pranking me.

So on my days off I started to put the wheels in motion for getting her back.  I spent the better part of my time off searching high and low for this:

I appreciate that the example they use on the packaging is somebody writing "I love you" on somebody else's car.  A far cry from my plans.

I seriously have not been so excited to go to work in a long time.  Then imagine my surprise when all the pieces fell in to place for me.  First, Sarah attempts to block me in for real this time, as seen above.  Unfortunately she is a grade-A fool and left her lights on.  I told her I would be kind enough to turn her lights off for her when I went on my break and, like a fool, she agreed and handed her keys over to me.

Muahahahaha.

Step one was moving her car to an undisclosed location where I could work on it in peace:

Save for the one security guard who kept passing by and giving me funny looks I had an uninterrupted hour of time to work on my masterpiece.  Sarah's car has a lot of nice window space to work with too.

And my personal favorite:

I wish I had a recording of Sarah's reaction when she saw her car but at least it will always be burned in my memory.  And I still haven't stopped laughing either.  The ear to ear grin on my face has yet to go away.  I woke up this morning to hateful messages from Sarah.  I called to talk to her and she said that people were taking her picture during her drive to work.

Because it's not every day you see a real live FOOL driving around on the streets.

I'd also really like to be there when she tries to wash this off, specifically the giant "FOOL" I wrote on the sunroof.  Good luck Sarah!

Gina's got some balls on her

I just feel like if I drove a car that had my name on phone number on it I would be hesitant to act like a crazy asshole while out and about.  It never ceases to amaze me though.

I had a guy one time who was driving insanely through this residential area near my dad's.  At some point, after he flicked me off among other things, I got behind him and noticed that he has a company logo on the back of his truck.  I called the number and, it being the weekend, I got an answering machine.  I left a message just saying something to the effect of, "hey I was just in traffic with one of your vehicles and the driver flipped me the bird, besides his general aggressive driving".  She ended up calling me back on Monday and gave me a lot of attitude.  I don't even know why she bothered calling me back, I don't recall her apologizing on behalf of the driver or the company.

I assume a similar scenario would go down if I called Gina to ask why she felt her groceries were more important than the four other people who could have parked in the spots she was blocking with her obnoxious work vehicle.  I mean, it's one thing to be so completely self absorbed that you think this kind of behavior is ok, but why would you do it with a vehicle that advertises your business?  Why would I ever want to work with somebody so oblivious and self important?

It's not like this was out of the way and she was doing the best she could with a cumbersome vehicle.  She was parked in the very center aisle closest to the doors, and as you can see only a few spots away from the grocery store.

Maybe we should all call Gina and just ask her, "Hey Gigi, what up with your nutty parking?  You think you're better than everybody else?"

Please please call her and ask her that.

(941)  922-2066
Gina Richardson's
Pool Management & Bad Parking