shift change

I came home from my bike ride to find he had taken over surveillance for Mia.  You can barely tell he's even there.

Don't worry though, he's always watching from the shadows.

Watching and waiting.

The thing I like about him is how he is nice.

so this is amazing

I would recommend buying this immediately, if not sooner.

I haven't decided which song is my favorite yet, but this is definitely my favorite part of the notes on their website:

*the songwriter acknowledges paraphrasing the poetry of Wallace Stevens and Ezra Pound (tracks 2 and 6, respectively), and thanks the poets for their beautiful and insightful work, which she has altered for use in her own. the songwriter also thanks those who write on bathroom walls at restaurants for their frequent use of misquotes. 

she says, "don't look at me"

I got home from running errands to see Mia was on neighborhood watch.

Apparently she thinks she's really well hidden.

: (((

I could only take a few pictures of her before she ran away, I guess upset that I had outed her from her super secret watching place.

She is nice.

because he's SO TIRED

The detective is recovering from all the attention he got while Kim was here.  Even though he's sad that Jon got bronchitis and couldn't come down, he's obviously relieved to catch a little shut eye.

Now that I'm back to work he'll have plenty of time to do all the things he does when I'm gone all day.  I'm guessing it's a lot more of what you see in that picture.

there's nothing wrong with being a slut, you know?

source

What was funny to me was when they were all saying their ages and none of them even came close to my grandfather.  

The other day I overheard an older guy telling somebody about how he tripped and almost fell while crossing the street and how he was 75 and that's old and it means it's a big deal when something like that happens.  I think my grandfather was in his 80's when he was re-tiling his roof, fell off, and dislocated his shoulder.  Not to mention the most recent 91 years old and hit by a car while he was riding his bike.  

Anyways, I love that video, thanks Michael for posting it.  My alternate title for this post was, "gay sex? I haven't had it in years" 

this guy

I feel like I showed Kim a good time in Ft. Lauderdale, including a fair smattering of wildlife.

I'm sad she has to leave tomorrow but I'm glad that Jon is coming down.  So much excitement in the past few weeks.

we made it to the beach

It hasn't been the nicest weather for Kim's visit but we did at least get down to the water this morning so she could go for a swim.  Afterwards we went for a bike ride and it did actually end up getting sunny enough that I got tan lines from my tank top.

I'm hoping that it will be beautiful tomorrow and that we can spend all day at the beach.  For now we're watching the Golden Girls and trying to motivate to go out for dinner.

happy birthday Kim!

This is how Kim got to wake up on her very special vacation birthday this morning.

Despite the torrential rains trying to keep us apart yesterday, it looks like it's going to be a beautiful day today in South Florida.  I unfortunately have to tend to a few adult chores but then we're heading down to Miami for birthday dinner and general rabble-rousing

I love this!!!

Thank you for sending this to me Meghan, and I agree, it's nice to know their names.

They are all so happy : (

it's so glorious

I finally bit the bullet and signed myself up for tv and internet this week and, by some miracle, it was delivered today on my day off.  It took me longer than expected to get it all up and running but I am now completely connected.  Laptop, computer, and cell phone are synchronized.  Non stop reruns of the Simpsons and Family Guy playing while I finished cleaning up.

I'm all ready for Kim to come!!!

it had to be Mariah

I had an emotional evening tonight to say the least.  If you want details you can feel free to text or email me, I am definitely in the mood to be thankful for my friends and loved ones.  And yes, my night actually involved that song and music video, I'm not just throwing her up there for fun, though I don't blame you for thinking that.  It was a sign for sure that she made an unexpected appearance this evening.

On a lighter and less vague note, Jon sent me this picture that Mariah apparently posted the other day with the caption, "beauty school dropout":

I love that she is SO happy to be blowdrying her hair.

another great day off

Even though I really just wanted to curl up in bed all day and avoid the world, I pushed myself to go out for a bike ride.

I made it maybe a mile before I hit a patch of uneven pavement that threw me off my bike, causing me to slide across the pavement before coming to a stop in the grass.

I basically slid in baby cobra so as painful as those look, I think I took most of the impact in my shoulder.  It really hurts and when I move it it pops in and out of place.

I decided it would be wise to tend to my wounds with proper first aid as, knowing me, if I didn't I would surely get some sort of infection or something.  At target I found bandaids that I would have gotten had they been a little sturdier and better equipped for gaping wounds:

At least Nori would have approved when I hobble in to work tomorrow.

at the coffee shop

He brought his cat to get coffee!!!

I've been working on training the detective to ride on my shoulders but so far we haven't made much progress.  Seeing that man this morning though re-inspired me to work with the detective more.

He has been all over me all morning anyways so I figured it would be a good time to work on training. You can tell he loves to be held.

He's actually very comfortable when I put him over my shoulder, as long as I hold his butt with my hand.

He can sit like this comfortably for a long time, glaring down at the world like a gargoyle.

Eventually my hand get tired though.  I'm trying to get him to lay around my neck but I don't think it's ever going to happen.  Maybe I'll just try going for a walk with him like this one day though, so others can admire his beauty.

she says, "WHERE'S MOM"

Heather returns from Haiti tomorrow, but I think the girls are ready for her to be back.  Me too!  Judging by the messages I've received from her she will have some stories to tell.

Heather Bruce	Apr 11 (2 days ago)
to me

Hi there!  How are things?  How are the girls?  I'm excited to get home and sleep.  I have a rooster outside my window.  I don't know if I've ever wanted something dead so much.... I lay there last night hoping we'd have rooster for dinner and "maybe they'll let me pick which one".  I think the malaria meds are making me angry...

chauffeurs

Daniel has been taking me to work and back all week but today was the first day that he was accompanied by these two.

I spent most of the ride turned around in my seat waving to them and reaching back so they could lick my fingers.

How are they so so nice?

Both of those pictures were taken in the morning, you can see that the back area of the car was already starting to acquire a healthy coating of drool on every surface.

I originally wanted to sit in the back seat but by the ride home I was happy with my nice dry front passenger seat.

They're just SO HAPPY.

: (((((

he doesn't even fit!

And this sink is curved too, how is that comfortable?!

Today when I got home from work he screamed in my face like a crazy maniac.

whoopi update

I finally got to talk to Jon last night and hear about his time with Whoopi.  I was surprised to find out that he managed to make it through the entire evening without crying.

Their meeting was brief but incredible as described by Jon.  I am constantly asking Jon to write down his version of things so I can post them directly on my blog but he won't ever do it so I'll have to give you my version from what I remember him telling me.

-She walked out of the stage door of the theater and there were a bunch of people standing there but she pointed to us and said, "those two, let those two come in".

-I told her I used to watch Sarafina! all the time when I was a kid and that I loved Made in America with Ted Danson and she laughed.

-(after I commented that they seem very intimate with her in that picture) when we followed her inside they took us to this little dark room and there was only one light overhead and it was shining directly on Whoopi.  I was so scared.  I had to put my arm around her for the picture and I felt her shoulder pad!

I wish you all could have heard the joy and excitement in his voice when he told me about her shoulder pad.

senor spielbergo

After an extremely not fun day off John took me out on a bike ride down the beach.  We ended up stoping at a restaurant here to get a bite to eat and he told me that's Stephen Spielberg's boat.  Apparently it's true too as one of the waitresses commented the same thing to her customer, causing the restaurant to erupt in murmurs.

It was pretty cool.  Except that it does block some of the view from the restaurant.

Still, no complaints.  It was a nice way to end a stressful day.

todays anthem

If you only knew what I've been dealing with the past two days.

Special thanks to Daniel and John for helping me out so much.

I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow, I'd rather be there taking my mind off my mess of a life.

waves for days

A girl at work asked me how I got my hair to do that and I told her the honest truth: on my way to work I roll down the windows and kind of lean my head in to the wind.  Once I get to work I take a moment to tame it down but then otherwise that's it.

Maybe she's born with it, maybe she drives to work with her head out the window.

Jonny, you in danger girl

On my break today I check my phone to find approximately 8 million text messages from Jon.  Apparently he is in Las Vegas and staying at the same hotel as Whoopi.  I guess he ran in to her at the pool, told her he loved her, she said she loved him, one thing led to another and now he's meeting up with her after her show tonight.

Jonathan is in danger of having me fly out there and tag along wether he likes it or not.

Can we also talk about how this is the third person I've known personally who has interacted with Ms. Goldberg and they all have had basically the same experience in that she was nothing but gracious and wonderful.

I'm super excited for Jonathan and I'm however many hundreds of miles away.  I can't imagine how much he's been freaking out all day waiting for tonight.  I think he still has a long time to go too with the time difference.  He must be dying.

When I told Gala and Noriko about all this today at work Nori reminded me that she has only lived in the U.S. for 4 years by saying, "Who's Whoopi Goldberg".  Gala threw out a few classic roles but they were met with no recognition from Nori.  Finally, determined to prove that everyone knows and loves Whoopi, I said, "she was one of the hyenas in the Lion King".

"ooooh the funny one!"

birthday beach lunch

Even though Daniel led me on with his alleged "dog handling classes" and threats of cancellation altogether, he came through and let me take him out to lunch for his birthday yesterday.  I asked him to come up when he arrived to help me put my bedskirt on, a job I've learned is far easier with two people.  My morning turned in to a whirlwind of cleaning and organizing, once I realized I still had piles of junk on every surface from my move that happened two weeks ago.  My apt isn't 100% yet so I don't want to take pictures but I will say it's almost there now, and my bedskirt looks great!

So thanks Daniel, for unknowingly shaming me in to getting my life together.  And thanks for letting me spend some time with you on your birthday!!

We had a very nice lunch, and I didn't even get a parking ticket despite only remembering that I hadn't paid an hour in to our meal.  I also got to give Daniel his gift, which I was pleased with.

The last time I spent the day at his work I commented that there weren't a lot of toys for the dogs to play with.  He said that the toys don't last very long but that there were a few ones left scattered around.  It seemed really sad that the only one I could find was really just 3/4 of a tennis ball with a rag tied to it.  But the dogs seemed to love it!  At some point after that day I realized that I had to get tennis balls for Daniel for his birthday.

He laughed and was happy when he opened his present but again said that they wouldn't last very long.  When I pressed him for a more specific idea of how long a tennis ball would last he said, "Gypsy can pop a tennis ball in the first bite".

Yikes.

I asked him if it hurt her when it exploded or if it was more satisfying like snapping a neck.  He said definitely more satisfying, so I guess maybe she can have one or two to destroy but I really don't think that's fair to the other dogs that she be allowed to pop all 12.  I asked Daniel to take a video of her popping one though.

Even though I couldn't get the waitress to sing happy birthday, it was still a nice day, and a great way to end my little back to back vacations before getting back to work for many days in a row coming up.  No more of this life of luxury:

home sweet home

I got home around 4 yesterday and immediately went on a bike ride.  It was windy (you know my feelings on the wind) but otherwise amazing.

And it felt good to be out exercising after two days of driving and eating.

Thankfully my drive back down yesterday was far less dramatic than my drive up.  No forest fires, no detours, definitely no fist pumping.  I did see this weird truck though:

The first time I saw it I didn't really notice until just as I was passing that the back was extremely dirty, but then somehow the area covering the mans face was clean.  The more I thought about it the more it struck me as extremely odd.  The advertisement isn't really about the guy, but somebody apparently felt the need to get on a ladder and clean just the area around his face.

I ended up having to pull over to go to the bathroom and apparently he passed me so I encountered him again.  This time I noticed how bright and sparkly his eyes and teeth are.  Maybe somebody had blacked them out and the PetSupermarket paid to have them repainted?  I'd need to see the before picture to decide which is really more disturbing.

I do like all the nice animals on the side though.  Just like I like this months fat cat!

I know I said I would post it as soon as I got home but I obviously got distracted by bike riding, followed by hanging out with Heather.  By the time 9 o'clock rolled around all I could think about was going to bed.  I'm glad I did too, it's a beautiful day outside and I'm excited to go enjoy it.

Happy Birthday Daniel!!!

This morning I called Daniel and sang pretty much exactly like this to him.  His reaction was similar to Ali, stunned silence.

Daniel is begrudgingly letting me take him out to lunch today but I was instructed not to tell any of the waitstaff.  If there is singing and clapping, so too will there be blood.  But I can't help it if somebody happens to overhear me loudly talking about how it's his birthday right?

I can't wait to give him his gift either.  I think he's going to really like it!

rabbit rabbit rabbit

Well it finally happened folks.  I failed you, March 2013, tough times indeed.  For the first time I failed to get a post a day for the month, I'm sorry.

But it's a new month, starting with my favorite holiday.  The holiday I was born to celebrate.  I just wish I were going to work so I'd have somebody to prank.  Maybe I'll have to wait until I get home and prank the detective.  He'll be angry!

I'm spending the morning in Sarasota with my sister before I head back down south.  Hopefully my drive back will be less dramatic than my drive up was.

And don't worry, I will post this months fat cat picture as soon as I get home.  I know you're anxiously waiting.