adventures at Home Depot

First of all this is some Sybil shit going on here and I like it.  Whether he's Bob, Tom, or Clay II, I trust that he does in fact purify the air.  I mean he is essentially a real life Mr. Clean so I don't see why it's not possible.

Florida is a funny place in that there are all these gigantic stores that were built because of unlimited space and budgets, but now sit empty because they won't hire anybody to work in them.  Best Buy has about 15 registers but I've never seen more than one person working at a register at any given time.  Home Depot on the other hand always seems to be teeming with employees, milling about and cracking jokes like it's Showtime at the Apollo.  They all seemed really interested in why I was taking this picture so I finally said, "I just like that he purifies the air" and this one older guy looks at me and goes, "Oh he does a lot more than that".

Other gems from our trip to Home Depot included this guy:

I wonder what makes it macho.  Or is it all an act?  Like when Edd picks fights with me when we're drunk and then rips off my necklace but immediately starts blubbering like a baby and apologizing for it. Reeeeaaaal tough guy you got there Ariel.

But the real icing on the cake that was my adventure yesterday was when a certain special surprise came whipping around the corner in the appliances department.  The woman pushing the cart did not seem to be the nicest person ever so I decided to try and take a candid photo instead of asking her outright if I could.  Here's the best that I could do:

There are three of them and they are wearing matching pink sweaters with rhinestone collars and I swear every single one of them looked me in the eyes and smiled at me.  I want to be her when I grow up.  After she left the appliances area I could still figure out where in the store they were because I would just hear gentle grumbling and snuffling coming from the aisle next to me or wherever.  They were so nice!!!!!

And they say New York is full of characters.  NYC has got nothing on southern florida.