This is me walking to work on a rainy day in NYC. Please note how I tower above the rest of the people on the sidewalk. While normally this works to my advantage, allowing me to survey the crowds for opportunities to dart ahead of slow walkers, on rainy days my height becomes my Achilles heel.
For one, on rainy days, people with umbrellas become limited to only being able to see the area directly in front of them and downward. Thus they tend to just walk directly towards you without realizing until the very last moment. This is the point when they decide that they need to lift the umbrella up over their head to allow the person they are approaching to slip underneath unscathed.
A nice idea, if the person they are approaching is as stumpy legged as they are, but for those of us given the gift of height, it becomes a harrowing experience. You see, raising your umbrella up above your head only puts the pointy metal tips at the ends of your umbrella right at eye level for me:
And because most people don't do this until the last possible moment, it means I never have any idea when it's coming. I'm just walking along, trying to get where i'm going, and every few seconds I'm suddenly thrown in to fight or flight mode as this big black shadow with glinting silver barbs comes rushing up towards my face.
I end up making my entire commute in one of two defensive stances. The goalie:
or the duck and cover:
Maybe what I should do is get a pair of fake glasses to wear on rainy days so I at least feel like I'm protecting my vulnerable eye area. Although I guess if I had an eye patch it would be fun to tell people how I lost my eye.
"Yeah it got stabbed out by some 5'2'' chick on 42nd St."
this is my favorite post
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