i'm dying

This makes me laugh so hard, mostly because of Raven, but Miley isn't terrible.  I actually felt ok about her on snl last night.  She did a lot of making fun of herself which was funny sometimes and annoying other times.  The clip above would be a good time.  She also does a really good Justin Bieber.

But i'm sorry, that is the funniest impression of Raven I have ever seen.  It's pretty much spot on too.  I think the skit is made funnier by the fact that Miley is  just being Hannah Montana in it.  I LOVE the part where they are talking louder and louder.  That is exactly how I feel every time I see anything with live actors on a kids channel.

I can't think of the last time I watched snl, especially when it was on new, but it was pretty fun.  I kept wondering about the Strokes and wether they got signed on before or after Miley.

     "Yeah, we'd love to do snl, thanks so much!  So who is the host going to be?"

     "Miley Cyrus"

     "Oooooohhhhh"

I guess they figured that since Miley is a singer they should book her opposite a musical guest that doesn't compete with her?  I guess I just don't think of her as a musician, I think of her as Hannah Montana.  Every time she would start singing last night (and she sang a lot) I kept cringing and thinking she was going to sing a wrong note or her voice was going to crack.  I had to keep reminding myself that I actually have her songs on my itunes (thanks Jon).

But she did ok, I laughed a bunch of times, so I support her.  I'm anxious to see what happens to her in the next few years.  All I could think during her opening monologue when she bragged about not having gotten a DUI was, 'yeah, not yet'.  She's going to regret saying that cause they will just replay the shit out of that when she does get a DUI.  You know it's coming.

It will only make me respect her though.  She can sit at the ex-con table with Paris and da Brat.

homeless happiness

As the seasons change, so too have the detectives snoozing spots.  This has become a new favorite spot for him, an abandoned box in the corner of the sunroom.  Now Scott refuses to let me take the box out to the recycling because "kitty likes it there".

For now anyways, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he moves on and finds some other weird place to sleep.  The other day he was asleep INSIDE the recliner.  The only way we figured out he was in there was when we noticed a little black paw sticking out from between the back and the bottom of the recliner.  How is that comfortable?!  Or more importantly, why does he act like a wild feral cat when i try to hold him but then is the most relaxed when he's confined to a recliner prison or jammed behind an air conditioning unit.

I miss the old days when it was just him and me in the tiny apt.  I feel like we spent a lot more time together due to the nature of him not being able to hide from me.  Down here however it's anybody's guess where he is. I'm scared that the warmer it gets the more likely it will be that I will look for him in one of his favorite hiding places and find some other kind of creature trying to escape the heat.  The day that happens is the day the bell goes back on his collar.

dream come true

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1,2,3!

Uggggghhhhh, she looks so good.  I just wish that kitty and I could go on a double date with her and her nice fluffy friend.

Can't wait for her new album.

gremlin

The citrus on the right all came from trees in the backyard so I can vouch for their organicness and whatnot.  I did a lemon, an orange, and a grapefruit to show normal sizes.  The item on the left is some weirdo fruit that my brothers friend brought home.  It looks and feels like a grapefruit but is clearly gargantuan.  He thinks it's a cross between a grapefruit and a melon, thus he named it the gremlin.

We were both too scared to cut it open, but had many theories about what it's like inside.  The real issue is why is this necessary?  What is wrong with the fruits of nature?  Why must we mess with perfection.  I'd rather just have a delicious grapefruit followed by a juicy melon, not some sort of freak fruit.

Oh no, all this talking about grapefruit makes me want a greyhound.  I better go do yoga now otherwise it'll be a lost cause.

what is wrong with America

I asked the lady at the liquor store if she had tried it and she said, "Yes!  It tastes just like yoohoo!" which I followed with, "is that a good thing"

She never really answered me though she gave me encouraging looks with her eyes.  Nothing would ever make me try this vile concoction.  The liquid inside had the consistency and color of yoohoo too.  Blech.

this makes me uncomfortable

I found a whole stack of these in the walmart garden center and was quite disturbed.

It reminds me of the "invention" that my brother texted me about the other day.  He was like, "whoa, I thought of the craziest thing, what if I made like a chair that had wheels attached to it?!"

When I went over to his house the other night I saw this invention.  It was basically just a lawn chair with a bike wheel leaning against it.  I'm not really sure how it's different than a wheelchair but my brother seems to think it's revolutionary.

I suggest he names it the hosemobile regardless.

rabbit rabbit rabbit

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I guess it's March now.  Who saw that coming?  Not me, that's for sure.

It's already 79 here and it's not even 9am, and the balmy factor is through the roof.  Before spin class yesterday we had the today show on in the background and we overheard them say that it was another frigid icy day in NYC and Scott and I both burst out laughing.  I mean, not to be evil or anything, I just completely forget that it's still winter for everyone else right now.  I've already got my base tan and am now wearing spf 60 every day to keep from turning in to a parody of myself.

I think the moral of the story is not that I want to make all my friends up north jealous, but more that I want all of my friends from up north to move down here.  I mean, granted, Florida is not the coolest state (don't even get me started on the whole Jeb Bush thing), but that's why I think it would be so easy to take over.  All we'd have to do is open one or two businesses that appeal to somebody under the age of 65 and we'd be in like flynn.

So while the rest of you are dragging your feet I'm going to get the ball rolling.  I think I should run for city council.  Time to shake things up down here!

This is what I'm going to wear to my press conference announcing my running: